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hello
never imagined i'd be posting somewhere like this...
when will this get easier? my partner got arrested over 2 weeks ago
i have hardly been able to eat, sleep, focus on anything since finding out, i'm so confused and shocked my anxiety is going crazy my stomach is in knots 24/7
i love this man so much i don't know how i'm supposed to feel towards him, if i'm supposed to believe him, if i'm supposed to feel sorry for him i feel scared for him. my heart breaks for him. because from what he's told me he's made a stupid mistake. but i don't know if what he's telling me is the truth right now. things don't add up but he's mental state is so fragile right now who am i to push him over the edge? but now i am starting to hate myself because how am i letting my love for him cloud my own morals? is everything i'm feeling normal? will it all become clearer??
also. will there be a point i will be questioned during this and have to hand in my devices too?? i don't have anything to hide but i hate the unknown. i'm back living with my mum and i've not told her anything because i don't want to upset her this early on so i'm very scared about police randomly turning up one day
never imagined i'd be posting somewhere like this...
when will this get easier? my partner got arrested over 2 weeks ago
i have hardly been able to eat, sleep, focus on anything since finding out, i'm so confused and shocked my anxiety is going crazy my stomach is in knots 24/7
i love this man so much i don't know how i'm supposed to feel towards him, if i'm supposed to believe him, if i'm supposed to feel sorry for him i feel scared for him. my heart breaks for him. because from what he's told me he's made a stupid mistake. but i don't know if what he's telling me is the truth right now. things don't add up but he's mental state is so fragile right now who am i to push him over the edge? but now i am starting to hate myself because how am i letting my love for him cloud my own morals? is everything i'm feeling normal? will it all become clearer??
also. will there be a point i will be questioned during this and have to hand in my devices too?? i don't have anything to hide but i hate the unknown. i'm back living with my mum and i've not told her anything because i don't want to upset her this early on so i'm very scared about police randomly turning up one day
Hi, everything you feel is completely normal but remember there's no right or wrong to how you feel or deal with things.
My person is actually my dad but he lived with me at the time of the offence and so I too had the worried of the police randomly turning up and asking me questions etc and I was riddled with anxiety. Just to put your mind at ease, that never happened. Infact my dad's already has his second interview and is awaiting his charges and communication from the police in between had been no existent.
I hope this eases your mind that tiny bit. Be kind to yourself x
My person is actually my dad but he lived with me at the time of the offence and so I too had the worried of the police randomly turning up and asking me questions etc and I was riddled with anxiety. Just to put your mind at ease, that never happened. Infact my dad's already has his second interview and is awaiting his charges and communication from the police in between had been no existent.
I hope this eases your mind that tiny bit. Be kind to yourself x
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So sorry that you have to join us all here.
Firstly,unless you have children,I doubt the police will want to question you. You have not done anything wrong.
Your feelings are perfectly normal. If you put The Knock into the search bar,you will see a perfect description of the early days on this horrible journey. Although our personal circumstances are very different,most of us have reacted in the same way as you. My offender is my son.
Please ring the helpline to talk to someone who will guide & support you.
You have done absolutely the right thing by coming on this forum. You will find compassion,understanding & maybe some answers.
Try to concentrate on what you know,rather than the 'What ifs'.
Most importantly,nurture yourself with the summer days & calming pursuits.
We are here !
Firstly,unless you have children,I doubt the police will want to question you. You have not done anything wrong.
Your feelings are perfectly normal. If you put The Knock into the search bar,you will see a perfect description of the early days on this horrible journey. Although our personal circumstances are very different,most of us have reacted in the same way as you. My offender is my son.
Please ring the helpline to talk to someone who will guide & support you.
You have done absolutely the right thing by coming on this forum. You will find compassion,understanding & maybe some answers.
Try to concentrate on what you know,rather than the 'What ifs'.
Most importantly,nurture yourself with the summer days & calming pursuits.
We are here !
100% bless you - love and hate easily blend together on this journey and we all here on the forum understand your feelings......
There's nothing bad about you - honest you must believe that .........
There's nothing bad about you - honest you must believe that .........
I'm so sorry you find yourself here with us xx
My person is my husband, who, like you, I hate what he has done, but I love with all my heart. There is no right or wrong way to feel. And those feelings change on a constant basis for me, anger, sadness, hope, love, frustration, rage! Its exhausting.
Take time to process, ring the helpline, self refer for NHS councelling if you think it may be useful and remember this is not your fault! You have done nothing wrong at all. Reach out here to people who just get it..
I send all my love and hugs to you xxx
My person is my husband, who, like you, I hate what he has done, but I love with all my heart. There is no right or wrong way to feel. And those feelings change on a constant basis for me, anger, sadness, hope, love, frustration, rage! Its exhausting.
Take time to process, ring the helpline, self refer for NHS councelling if you think it may be useful and remember this is not your fault! You have done nothing wrong at all. Reach out here to people who just get it..
I send all my love and hugs to you xxx
thank you all, hearing other stories and knowing we aren't alone does bring that bit of comfort as heartbreaking as it all is!
i do have a child, my person is not the child's father, but has been as good as a father to them the past 6 years - i was never married to my partner either. and no contact has been made between him and my child since the arrest. we have broken up as he doesn't want to drag me down with him and we both agreed he shouldn't make any contact with my child for now / i think i'll just do my best to be there for him as an emotional support and see him when i can when my child's away with his bio dad, because i know he's suffering and to me as it stands i have to believe him. he's the love of my life i just have to believe this kind loving man is not capable of anything he's being accused of. ahh it's so hard.
i do have a child, my person is not the child's father, but has been as good as a father to them the past 6 years - i was never married to my partner either. and no contact has been made between him and my child since the arrest. we have broken up as he doesn't want to drag me down with him and we both agreed he shouldn't make any contact with my child for now / i think i'll just do my best to be there for him as an emotional support and see him when i can when my child's away with his bio dad, because i know he's suffering and to me as it stands i have to believe him. he's the love of my life i just have to believe this kind loving man is not capable of anything he's being accused of. ahh it's so hard.
So sorry you find yourself here
I wasn't at home when the police turned up at our house some of my devices were removed. I was never informed. Only realised my camera was missing weeks later. Bizarrely they left the external hard drive behind.
They then pitched up at my work. I wasn't questioned but had to give a statement.
I wasn't at home when the police turned up at our house some of my devices were removed. I was never informed. Only realised my camera was missing weeks later. Bizarrely they left the external hard drive behind.
They then pitched up at my work. I wasn't questioned but had to give a statement.
Ton x
Like everyone else I am sorry you have found yourself here
Its early days and your emotions are normal we have all been where you are so we totally understand, be kind to yourself firstly, of course your OH is going to be in shock no one can prepare you both for this journey, it is so important that he seeks help from a therapist, phone the LFF helpline they can recommend people in your area ,
We are here for you, so for now consintraite on each day , we have no control over this and know you are definitely not alone
Hugs sent xx
Like everyone else I am sorry you have found yourself here
Its early days and your emotions are normal we have all been where you are so we totally understand, be kind to yourself firstly, of course your OH is going to be in shock no one can prepare you both for this journey, it is so important that he seeks help from a therapist, phone the LFF helpline they can recommend people in your area ,
We are here for you, so for now consintraite on each day , we have no control over this and know you are definitely not alone
Hugs sent xx
Hi Tonix, I don't have anything further to add but wanted to let you know I hear you and really feel for you, your OH and your child as I know the impact this will be having on all your lives.