Upset About Social Worker
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Just had first contact with social worker and I just feel so upset, angry, annoyed... I don't even know. She questioned absolutely everything I said and seemed like she wanted me to of split up from my husband and be absolutely disgusted in him... why me and my child are seeing him a lot (he is allowed to see her as much as he wants just supervised)... or why we are seemingly trying to carry on like nothing has happened. I feel like every time I spoke I said the wrong thing and she was just so judgy about everything. I mentioned about my husbands childhood trauma and mental health and she literally didn't even care :( is it normal for them to be like this? I kept repeating that my child is my number 1 priority but what else should I of said? She wants to meet with me and my husband to do an assessment, what things should I do/say? Any help would be greatly appreciated :(
Hello- i'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I don't have experience with social workers or children, but just wanted to send a big hug. Stay strong, and I am sure here there are some good ladies that have experience with this and that might be able to help. Xx
Social services has been the hardest so far for me (and I've been lucky that they haven't been judgmental).
It sounds like you have done all the right things. I have found that asking them for an agenda for each meeting is helpful. It means you know what the purpose of each visit is.
Please feel free to message me. I'm new on the journey as well. I'm sure lots of ladies have a lot more experience but I can let you knownwhat i have learnt good and bad so far xx
Sending love xx
It sounds like you have done all the right things. I have found that asking them for an agenda for each meeting is helpful. It means you know what the purpose of each visit is.
Please feel free to message me. I'm new on the journey as well. I'm sure lots of ladies have a lot more experience but I can let you knownwhat i have learnt good and bad so far xx
Sending love xx
Hey,
There is a great document I read on how they should and should be when discussing this topic with the NOPs. Message me and I will send the link. I have to find it first and got dinner etc to do so need the reminder!
Also, make sure you are seen to be doing the right thing, as well saying the right thing. Is your partner signed up to any courses such as Safer Lives? Have you signed up to INFORM or CIRCLES? Have you spoken to the LFF helpline? They are great.
Never minimise anything.
Have you got a safety plan?
I was misreported so much in mine - even as far as reporting I thought it was acceptable (what he did). Imagine that! Who in their right mind would think it was acceptable behaviour. Remember this is their opinion. This is not based on fact.
Do the research. Get the evidence. Get on the courses. Have a robust Safety Plan.
You can get through this. You just need to do it carefuly, safely and with your child as number one priority.
Once the charges are in, then he can get a forensic risk assessment done if this is necessary.
Oh, and also, get a Subject Access Request in to CS so you can see all the reporting about you. Then you can be armed and ready for any future interactions. I would suggest choosing when to this as you need to make sure you get as much info as possible - so after your assessment is complete for example.
There is a great document I read on how they should and should be when discussing this topic with the NOPs. Message me and I will send the link. I have to find it first and got dinner etc to do so need the reminder!
Also, make sure you are seen to be doing the right thing, as well saying the right thing. Is your partner signed up to any courses such as Safer Lives? Have you signed up to INFORM or CIRCLES? Have you spoken to the LFF helpline? They are great.
Never minimise anything.
Have you got a safety plan?
I was misreported so much in mine - even as far as reporting I thought it was acceptable (what he did). Imagine that! Who in their right mind would think it was acceptable behaviour. Remember this is their opinion. This is not based on fact.
Do the research. Get the evidence. Get on the courses. Have a robust Safety Plan.
You can get through this. You just need to do it carefuly, safely and with your child as number one priority.
Once the charges are in, then he can get a forensic risk assessment done if this is necessary.
Oh, and also, get a Subject Access Request in to CS so you can see all the reporting about you. Then you can be armed and ready for any future interactions. I would suggest choosing when to this as you need to make sure you get as much info as possible - so after your assessment is complete for example.
Bea xx
This is exactly what I was going to write but couldn't find the right words!
Xx
This is exactly what I was going to write but couldn't find the right words!
Xx
SS have been so hard on me .. they have become the hardest part of this ..
They made me have no contact with mine and leave him and continue to ask me if we are still broken up ..
They were extremely judemental with me and wouldn't let me ask any questions ..
Their main focus is getting me out this house and moved into a different one ..
The helpline have said they don't know the full ins and outs of the case as there's no charges yet it's an investigation so they always think worse case and treat it as worst case. The police have also said they shouldn't be labelling him as there's no charges yet its just an investigation.
They made me have no contact with mine and leave him and continue to ask me if we are still broken up ..
They were extremely judemental with me and wouldn't let me ask any questions ..
Their main focus is getting me out this house and moved into a different one ..
The helpline have said they don't know the full ins and outs of the case as there's no charges yet it's an investigation so they always think worse case and treat it as worst case. The police have also said they shouldn't be labelling him as there's no charges yet its just an investigation.