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HorseyMum

Member since
August 2023

2 posts

Posted Fri June 7, 2024 8:32amReport post

My ex will soon be charged, I don't know if I should relocate, or stay. We are not together and he doesn't live here anymore. It's so hard trying to predict the future. So scared of the back lash, I jump whenever I heard anything outside!

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

994 posts

Posted Fri June 7, 2024 9:10amReport post

Hi,

I stayed in my house although the urge to move was so strong at times. I've not faced any backlash and neither have his parents whose address was printed in the media report. Sending you love and strength xxx

HorseyMum

Member since
August 2023

2 posts

Posted Fri June 7, 2024 8:55pmReport post

Thank you got your response it's so hard. As I understand people's anger, direct it at him. I have/had nothing to do with it (hard thing to think about the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with!)

I sometimes think he has it easier out of the way while I'm left to face everyone

Edited by moderator Mon June 10, 2024 9:13am

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

282 posts

Posted Mon June 10, 2024 2:33pmReport post

Hi, when my ex went to court the first time (I'm going through this a second time at the moment), I was warned about the court reporter. I was told they might be in court and that they might report the case. There weren't any reporters there that day so I thought we'd got away with it. Six weeks after sentencing, I got a phonecall from the OIC to give me two hours notice that the case, his name, photo, age and the road we lived in was going to be put on the county wide Police FB page. It was horrific and my two children aged 12 and 14 bore the brunt of it because all their friends at school know. I would've given anything to have been able to move away but we live in social housing so it just wasn't possible. In fact, we were threatened with eviction. It's appalling what we have to contend with. X

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

753 posts

Posted Mon June 10, 2024 10:17pmReport post

My address was published by the media along with my sons name, age, the details of his charges and punishment and a headline calling him a 'p'. We made a point of speaking with our immediate neighbours who all have children to let them know the true facts rather than the story reported by the media.
We've had no backlash and are glad we remained where we are. If we'd moved there would have been the risk of people finding out. By staying we have nothing to hide.

SadAndWorried

Member since
October 2019

153 posts

Posted Thu June 27, 2024 7:24pmReport post

Hi Horseymum,

I can really relate to your feeling of hiding, I became very withdrawn around the time of sentencing. I also thought of all the outcomes, how quickly could we move house, change school and all that. Thankfully it didn't end up in the papers. I hope so very much that it doesn't end up in the papers for you! Make back up plans if that helps you too cope but I wouldn't move ect until you know of the outcome xx

Mumintears

Member since
August 2024

11 posts

Posted Fri August 16, 2024 8:17amReport post

I am really worried about my son's case being in the media.He is going to court in september.I have lived in the same place over thirty years I know everybody(my son lives with me). I am scared and keep having nightmares about people attacking my house breaking in,painting horrible names all over the front of it. I am so worried

Sad&Scared

Member since
January 2024

66 posts

Posted Fri August 16, 2024 9:38amReport post

I'm in a not dissimilar situation (separated immediately on arrest - he then moved several hours away) and am staying put. This is our home. A small circle of close family friends know the situation already and every single one has been brilliant. I told both my children's schools immediately and they are 100% supportive and I know will have our backs. Anyone who isn't a complete idiot will know this isn't your fault and certainly isn't your children's fault, and I'm not inclined to let complete idiots dictate our lives. One thing we have both done is 'clear up' online, and I've been subtly putting distance between him and us in conversations with others.

Re media, his solicitor is a specialist in this area and says there are so many cases now that a lot of 'small fry' don't hit the media. But obviously that isn't a guarantee.