Father’s Day
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Hi hope everyone is doing ok. Just a post regarding Father's Day approaching my person the father to my children is serving a prison sentence and the kids are yet to be able to have any form of contact yet until it's approved by relevant people nearly 2 months has gone by now since sentencing. The kids won't be able to send a Father's Day card as I think it could be against the rules at the moment really don't understand why the kids can't have even a phone call with there dad it's just so frustrating for the kids missing him and asking when they can speak with him and I can't give them an answer as to when that will be.
Life just seems so overwhelming right now the sentence was very unexpected so just getting over the shock and feeling angry about the decision made. Is there anyone on the other side of sentencing and things have got a lot better over time I worry when he gets out will he be able to find work etc as I'm struggling financially without him helping out like he used to do or is he basically going be struggling once the custodial is over or is there plenty of work without the need for checks being done or being asked about criminal records? Does anyone know how long I could be looking at for contact for the kids or could it vary case to case ?
Life just seems so overwhelming right now the sentence was very unexpected so just getting over the shock and feeling angry about the decision made. Is there anyone on the other side of sentencing and things have got a lot better over time I worry when he gets out will he be able to find work etc as I'm struggling financially without him helping out like he used to do or is he basically going be struggling once the custodial is over or is there plenty of work without the need for checks being done or being asked about criminal records? Does anyone know how long I could be looking at for contact for the kids or could it vary case to case ?
Hi, we are post custodial. My husband was released 3 weeks ago after serving 16 months. His sentence was unexpected so I completely empathise with the feelings you are experiencing. Our daughter is an adult so we didn't have the complications of young children having to be authorised for contact. Nothing in Prison happens fast as I'm sure you are finding and at times the wait is painfully slow. Have you contacted PACT? They may be able to offer support to you and your children.
Life beyond Prison takes adjustment just as any part of this journey does. We are still in the earliest stages of jobsearch and having an unspent conviction is definitely a barrier. Only time will tell how much of a barrier it turns out to be. Try to take each day as it comes. Worrying about things we can't control or things that are too far in the future is exhausting and where possible best avoided x
Life beyond Prison takes adjustment just as any part of this journey does. We are still in the earliest stages of jobsearch and having an unspent conviction is definitely a barrier. Only time will tell how much of a barrier it turns out to be. Try to take each day as it comes. Worrying about things we can't control or things that are too far in the future is exhausting and where possible best avoided x
The last part of your post (Life feels over) is so so valid and absolutely spot on. You cannot go on fretting and overthinking what could happen in the future, it really could have serious consequences for mental health and as you put it 'exhausting'. Of course it's very hard not to overthink, it's a traumatic horribly unique journey.
Quite often I have got myself into a state and what I thought would happen just hasn't! The next stage of my sons journey has now begun in earnest as we enter the 'parole' stage, and once again I'm doing my damn best to keep those brakes on my thoughts/worries, so they don't 'swamp' or drag me down.
As the saying goes 'what will be - will be'....
Quite often I have got myself into a state and what I thought would happen just hasn't! The next stage of my sons journey has now begun in earnest as we enter the 'parole' stage, and once again I'm doing my damn best to keep those brakes on my thoughts/worries, so they don't 'swamp' or drag me down.
As the saying goes 'what will be - will be'....
Thanks for your replies, I need to try and focus on the now and try not to worry to far ahead in time that's my trouble my anxiety is just through the roof at moment with everything but trying my best to hold everything together so hard. X
Hi, my person got 3 years in prison, first offence. Our children were 12 and 14 at the time. My persons crime were IIOC, no offences in person. My children were never allowed any contact with him, no visits, no calls and no letters etc. In fact my dear children wrote to him in the early days and the prison sent them back. What I found so difficult to deal with was that then I visited him, the visiting hall was full of young children! I believe that stopping my children being able to communicate with him was as bad and caused as much damage as the initial crime. X
Definitely focus on now and don't compare the experiences of others. Our journeys are all unique xx