Timeframe
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Does anyone have an approximate timeframe for investigation?
I spoke to my ex partners investigating officer yesterday and was advised that his conditional bail has been extended to January. Same conditions attached of no contact with me or my children.
I asked the policeman whether it's possible he may be innocent and he said 'everyone is innocent until proven guilty'. This worries me as I've chosen to split. I understand the concept of innocent until proven guilty, however surely they must have evidence to arrest and investigate in the first place?
He so said, when information comes in we always investigate. I'm starting to fear that he may have been chatting to someone underage and that thought revolts me as I have a teenage daughter myself.
How I wish I knew what exactly he is accused off. The not knowing is so hard. SS have no concerns with my kids and the police don't believe any contact offence has taken place, however it's impossible not to worry.
Does anyone have an idea on likely timeframe until court when I can find out his accused crimes?
My mind, especially concerning my daughter, is in overdrive until then.
Thanks for reading.
I spoke to my ex partners investigating officer yesterday and was advised that his conditional bail has been extended to January. Same conditions attached of no contact with me or my children.
I asked the policeman whether it's possible he may be innocent and he said 'everyone is innocent until proven guilty'. This worries me as I've chosen to split. I understand the concept of innocent until proven guilty, however surely they must have evidence to arrest and investigate in the first place?
He so said, when information comes in we always investigate. I'm starting to fear that he may have been chatting to someone underage and that thought revolts me as I have a teenage daughter myself.
How I wish I knew what exactly he is accused off. The not knowing is so hard. SS have no concerns with my kids and the police don't believe any contact offence has taken place, however it's impossible not to worry.
Does anyone have an idea on likely timeframe until court when I can find out his accused crimes?
My mind, especially concerning my daughter, is in overdrive until then.
Thanks for reading.
Hi Partner
I feel for you - I am in the same boat in a sense in that my partner is adamant that he is not guilty, so I have decided to stay with him until its proven otherwise - I wouldn't be able to cope if I had left him when he needed me for nothing. I am lucky though that there are no children involved to complicate things for us.
What happened when you got your knock? I was home at the time so I was given information at the same time as he was. Has your ex asked the police to not disclose the accusations? It must be awful to not know what he is accused of on top of everything else, your brain must be going wild.
Xx
I feel for you - I am in the same boat in a sense in that my partner is adamant that he is not guilty, so I have decided to stay with him until its proven otherwise - I wouldn't be able to cope if I had left him when he needed me for nothing. I am lucky though that there are no children involved to complicate things for us.
What happened when you got your knock? I was home at the time so I was given information at the same time as he was. Has your ex asked the police to not disclose the accusations? It must be awful to not know what he is accused of on top of everything else, your brain must be going wild.
Xx
Hi,
it is so hard not knowing all the facts and then be expected to make decisions based on it. As Hilltop says do you not have any inkling. I was in when the knock came so knew what they were looking for.
In terms of length of investigation our case took 15 months for the devices to be analysed. He was charged 3 months later. It is looking like it'll be Summer 2020 before it goes to trial!
I believe my husband and the evidence we have been given so far does not incriminate him. It was a shared computer, we had tried to unlock a second hand phone. However as far as the police are concerned it is job done, it is up to us to prove innocence.
xx
it is so hard not knowing all the facts and then be expected to make decisions based on it. As Hilltop says do you not have any inkling. I was in when the knock came so knew what they were looking for.
In terms of length of investigation our case took 15 months for the devices to be analysed. He was charged 3 months later. It is looking like it'll be Summer 2020 before it goes to trial!
I believe my husband and the evidence we have been given so far does not incriminate him. It was a shared computer, we had tried to unlock a second hand phone. However as far as the police are concerned it is job done, it is up to us to prove innocence.
xx
All you need to do in amongst all of this is remember one thing - regardless of if he is guilty or not, regardless of whether or not you stand by him, you have done nothing wrong, you are not guilty, and you will have a normal life again one day xxx
If they have extended his bail, you might be in a stronger position (I'll explain why...)
My partner was arrested 13/3/19 and put on bail for 4 weeks (with no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16). At the end of the four weeks, his bail was extended to 3 months from the arrest (to 13/6/19). At this point, they applied to extend again, which needed to go to the magistrates court. The officer explained that this can only be done once, so if the extension was granted they would be under significant pressure to have the investigation totally dealt with by the end of the extension. Magistrates extended bail to 13/12/19, and we had our outcome of no further action at the end of September, with him getting his devices back last week.
what I must add is that NFA doesn't mean he didn't do something wrong. He was arrested twice - firstly for suspicion of grooming, which was NFA as there was no evidence of this. He was also arrested for sexual communication with a minor, which was NFA as it wasn't in the public interest apparently?! (He says he hasn't communicated; he was in a role play with himself, which IPs would show, but we don't know if they ended up getting). This means we've still got a heavy social services presence. Bail or no bail didn't make a difference to us, as he couldn't have unsupervised contact with the kids either way, so I'm glad he was kept on bail, as it meant things were dealt with quickly, and they did this because they thought it would be a cut and dry case (which it didn't turn out to be), so hopefully that's why they've extended yours.
sorry for rambling - I hope that makes SOME sense xx
My partner was arrested 13/3/19 and put on bail for 4 weeks (with no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16). At the end of the four weeks, his bail was extended to 3 months from the arrest (to 13/6/19). At this point, they applied to extend again, which needed to go to the magistrates court. The officer explained that this can only be done once, so if the extension was granted they would be under significant pressure to have the investigation totally dealt with by the end of the extension. Magistrates extended bail to 13/12/19, and we had our outcome of no further action at the end of September, with him getting his devices back last week.
what I must add is that NFA doesn't mean he didn't do something wrong. He was arrested twice - firstly for suspicion of grooming, which was NFA as there was no evidence of this. He was also arrested for sexual communication with a minor, which was NFA as it wasn't in the public interest apparently?! (He says he hasn't communicated; he was in a role play with himself, which IPs would show, but we don't know if they ended up getting). This means we've still got a heavy social services presence. Bail or no bail didn't make a difference to us, as he couldn't have unsupervised contact with the kids either way, so I'm glad he was kept on bail, as it meant things were dealt with quickly, and they did this because they thought it would be a cut and dry case (which it didn't turn out to be), so hopefully that's why they've extended yours.
sorry for rambling - I hope that makes SOME sense xx
Hi thank you for your replies.
No the knock came after work for me. He was under arrest at that point and at the station. We didn't live together. I assume he was arrested at work.
The police came to TL me for safeguarding reasons as he (was) my partner and I have children. One of whom is a young teen girl. The memory of what they said that night are a blur. It was almost 3 months ago and I was very emotional. They mentioned indecent images of children. That they believed he'd been chatting to another man. Had ordinary photos (taken from social media) of my daughter and was to do with a Twitter account.
That's all I know.
The last time I heard from him was the morning of the knock. A text saying he loved me, wanted to be with me forever, through good times and bad.
Nothing since.
I simply don't know. Was he just with me to get to my daughter? Was my entire relationship a lie? 5 years. Is he innocent and I've deserted him in his hour of need? It's so hard not knowing.
But the fact is, he cannot contact me as per his bail conditions. So I haven't heard a thing from him since that loving text.
I've learnt to deal with it. Hard. At first I was distraught and simply didn't believe it. I missed him terribly and ached for him. Then I became very angry that potentially because of his actions social services were bought into my children's lives. Now I deal with it by thinking he is an adult. I have had to end the relationship for my children's sake and if it was the other way round (he has children), I would expect him to do the same.
However, I need to know what he's accused of. For my peace of mind. What his plea is or even if it's NFA. Because he was around my daughter throughout.
Tough for us all xxxx
No the knock came after work for me. He was under arrest at that point and at the station. We didn't live together. I assume he was arrested at work.
The police came to TL me for safeguarding reasons as he (was) my partner and I have children. One of whom is a young teen girl. The memory of what they said that night are a blur. It was almost 3 months ago and I was very emotional. They mentioned indecent images of children. That they believed he'd been chatting to another man. Had ordinary photos (taken from social media) of my daughter and was to do with a Twitter account.
That's all I know.
The last time I heard from him was the morning of the knock. A text saying he loved me, wanted to be with me forever, through good times and bad.
Nothing since.
I simply don't know. Was he just with me to get to my daughter? Was my entire relationship a lie? 5 years. Is he innocent and I've deserted him in his hour of need? It's so hard not knowing.
But the fact is, he cannot contact me as per his bail conditions. So I haven't heard a thing from him since that loving text.
I've learnt to deal with it. Hard. At first I was distraught and simply didn't believe it. I missed him terribly and ached for him. Then I became very angry that potentially because of his actions social services were bought into my children's lives. Now I deal with it by thinking he is an adult. I have had to end the relationship for my children's sake and if it was the other way round (he has children), I would expect him to do the same.
However, I need to know what he's accused of. For my peace of mind. What his plea is or even if it's NFA. Because he was around my daughter throughout.
Tough for us all xxxx
Speak to the police - ask them to run through the information they initially gave you again and see if it makes more sense now you have your head a little straighter. If they've given you it before then it should be okay for them to give you it again. X
Hilltop.
Good idea. Thank you. I spoke to the investigating officer yesterday but only to be told his bail was extended. I ask them.
Thank you. Hope your doing ok xxx
Good idea. Thank you. I spoke to the investigating officer yesterday but only to be told his bail was extended. I ask them.
Thank you. Hope your doing ok xxx
Hey Jane im in a similar situation as you did you keep your partner in the home as we only had the first know Monday. Officers say try carry on as normal but social making you feel pressure that he has to leave i believe my partner he has done no wrong as he had his phone and Facebook hacked. I have proof of that