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Communication with decoy

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Worried_4_future

Member since
February 2024

17 posts

Posted Thu June 13, 2024 3:34pmReport post

Hello,

I'm having such a down day! Has anyone had any positive stories reguarding talking to a police decoy? Police have been upfront and honest saying it's not the worst crime that's been committed and has compaired it on a scale with r*ping and mu*dering a child and said it's pretty low risk.



My person communicated with a 14 year old decoy first on grindr and then it moved to Snapchat. Chat was only for an hour and a picture was sent, however my person claims that as soon as the decoy revealed their age he blocked the account, but the oic has said he did block the account but it wasn't immediately. He spoke to the account that night and by morning he was arrested at work.



This was months ago and thought I was getting to be in a better place but I'm just not at all, we rarely see each other now and he's got a new job and a flat to live in.



So has anyone had a better outcome than prison?



Thank you in advance

Poppop

Member since
September 2023

70 posts

Posted Thu June 13, 2024 4:18pmReport post

My son

Will no his outcome these Tuesday coming

His offence was communication with decoy, but vagilantes

He been told by probation that's it 0.01% of going to prison, but pack a bag just Incase

I am a nervous wreck

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

561 posts

Posted Thu June 13, 2024 4:54pmReport post

Worried - I have messaged you x

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

774 posts

Posted Thu June 13, 2024 5:01pmReport post

Hi Worried, my sons offence was communication and he received a suspended sentence, 300 hours community work and 10 year SHPO and SOR.

LifeRuined23

Member since
June 2023

58 posts

Posted Fri June 14, 2024 8:04amReport post

I think this is borderline behaviour of the decoy. Grndr is for adults. It's a dating site, it's not just a chat room and it is for adults 18+.

The website itself states the following:

AGE RESTRICTIONS AND SAFETY.NO USE BY UNDERAGE PERSONS. The Grindr Services are intended ONLY for legal adults. NO PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS (OR THE AGE OF MAJORITY IN PLACES WHERE EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS IS NOT THE AGE OF MAJORITY) MAY ATTEMPT, DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY, TO VIEW, DOWNLOAD, POSSESS, OR OTHERWISE USE THE GRINDR SERVICES.YOU MUST BE A LEGAL ADULT. BY ACCEPTING THIS AGREEMENT, CREATING A USER ACCOUNT (AS DEFINED BELOW), AND ENTERING A DATE OF BIRTH FOR AGE VERIFICATION PURPOSES, YOU AFFIRMATIVELY REPRESENT AND WARRANT THAT:YOU ARE CURRENTLY EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS OF AGE OR OVER (OR THE AGE OF MAJORITY IN PLACES WHERE EIGHTEEN (18) YEARS IS NOT THE AGE OF MAJORITY);YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LAWFULLY ENTERING INTO AND PERFORMING ALL THE OBLIGATIONS SET FORTH IN THIS AGREEMENT;YOU ARE NOT LOCATED IN A COUNTRY THAT IS SUBJECT TO A U.S. GOVERNMENT EMBARGO, OR THAT HAS BEEN DESIGNATED BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT AS A “TERRORIST SUPPORTING” COUNTRY; ANDYOU ARE NOT ON ANY LIST OF U.S. GOVERNMENT LIST OF PROHIBITED OR RESTRICTED LISTS.

It's the LGBTQ+ equivalent of Tinder, where you HAVE got to be of age on there (having used it myself when at uni). Dating sites make you confirm your age with a date of birth.

Poppop

Member since
September 2023

70 posts

Posted Fri June 14, 2024 9:32amReport post

As anyone hears of the app called wink

That's how my son was caught

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

113 posts

Posted Fri June 14, 2024 9:52amReport post

Poppop... Never heard of that one, hubby was caught out on Kik and I hadn't heard of that one either till the day of the knock. Sucks that he even ended up on a chat sites but we were going through a rough patch and strangely enough this has bought us closer together after realising what we could lose xx

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

274 posts

Posted Fri June 14, 2024 9:56amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri June 14, 2024 7:46pm

Lucy from Stop it Now!

Member since
September 2018

493 posts

Posted Fri June 14, 2024 3:22pmReport post

Dear Forum Users

We wanted to add to this thread regarding police decoys and vigilantes, and the platforms they use. Whilst many platforms have a minimum age, the reality is, that we know younger people do use them (for example, on Facebook and Instagram), this also applies to chat and dating websites. It therefore is the responsibility of the user to check the ages of those they interact with on there, especially if it is of a sexual nature. This is similar to how people should behave in a real-life environment, where we also know under-aged people will sometimes be present in unpermitted places. Individuals may not have initially intended to speak to minors online, however, unfortunately, the reality is that underage people do populate a lot of these platforms. If anyone in an online space says they are under 18 and talking to an adult, it is then the adult's responsibility to listen to that and end the contact immediately.

We hope this helps to clarify the topic.

Take Care

Lucy