Some comfort please x
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Hi all.
I received 'the knock' end of October 2023 and can only describe it as a bomb being thrown into the middle of my life.
My OH was arrested for IIOC, there were 25 Cat A, 15 Cat B and 15 Cat C. I have been told the downloads took place around 2021, but due to him getting a new phone 2023 and uploading files through drop box to the new phone, this is how he was caught. The police confirmed the images were of teenage girls. OH was bailed away from the home address and social services conducted a strategy meeting and placed our 2 young children on a child in need plan (I am a registered social worker myself and have found this aspect of the whole situation very hard).
I felt forced into telling my family by social services, as they said a 3rd party needed to supervise contact whilst they conducted their assessments. This has not been helpful and I found it placed more strain on everyone/everything. I am now able to supervise contact and he can have unsupervised contact in the community. We remain amicable, but I struggle daily with what this has done to all aspects of mine and my children's lives.
We are now in June and the case is due to be heard at Crown Court soon and I am terrified of this being in the press or him going to prison - I can't afford the house and daily living on my own and worry every day about neighbours etc finding out. He has done lots of work and therapy without being asked, has held his hands up to the offence and now wants to make amends and move on with his life. The length of time this can take seems so cruel on the families of those who have offended. I feel since October I have been living in limbo.
I just wanted to share my experience and seek some comfort from you guys, I haven't posted before but always read the posts from others.
Thank you xx
I received 'the knock' end of October 2023 and can only describe it as a bomb being thrown into the middle of my life.
My OH was arrested for IIOC, there were 25 Cat A, 15 Cat B and 15 Cat C. I have been told the downloads took place around 2021, but due to him getting a new phone 2023 and uploading files through drop box to the new phone, this is how he was caught. The police confirmed the images were of teenage girls. OH was bailed away from the home address and social services conducted a strategy meeting and placed our 2 young children on a child in need plan (I am a registered social worker myself and have found this aspect of the whole situation very hard).
I felt forced into telling my family by social services, as they said a 3rd party needed to supervise contact whilst they conducted their assessments. This has not been helpful and I found it placed more strain on everyone/everything. I am now able to supervise contact and he can have unsupervised contact in the community. We remain amicable, but I struggle daily with what this has done to all aspects of mine and my children's lives.
We are now in June and the case is due to be heard at Crown Court soon and I am terrified of this being in the press or him going to prison - I can't afford the house and daily living on my own and worry every day about neighbours etc finding out. He has done lots of work and therapy without being asked, has held his hands up to the offence and now wants to make amends and move on with his life. The length of time this can take seems so cruel on the families of those who have offended. I feel since October I have been living in limbo.
I just wanted to share my experience and seek some comfort from you guys, I haven't posted before but always read the posts from others.
Thank you xx
Felicity x
So sorry you have found yourself here but well done for reaching out x
I dont have any advice other than yes it's an awful journey to be on but you will receive lots of advice here x
Take a day at a time and be kind to yourself x
We have no control over the media but hopefully it wont come to that and if it does you will get through it
So sorry you have found yourself here but well done for reaching out x
I dont have any advice other than yes it's an awful journey to be on but you will receive lots of advice here x
Take a day at a time and be kind to yourself x
We have no control over the media but hopefully it wont come to that and if it does you will get through it
Though not every case is the same, my OH was in the media. And we have not had any repercussions from anyone. Just for you to take some comfort. X
Thanks guys
I think its the not knowing if people know that I may struggle with. To feel so out of control of things is a horrible feeling. I don't want this to define who I am as a person, I just want to move on and enjoy life again x
I think its the not knowing if people know that I may struggle with. To feel so out of control of things is a horrible feeling. I don't want this to define who I am as a person, I just want to move on and enjoy life again x