Family and Friends Forum

I didn't know how many images were involved until after sentencing. But other stuff came out on a routine police visit to check devices.

It was this additional info that was the straw that broke the camels back. If I hadn't been in the house that day would he have kept these secrets? I think he would.

I didn't go to court - in hindsight maybe I should to have found out the full extent of his offending.

Hi trying to keep hope I coubd not just read and not reply and yes it not easy at all to be honest to hear everything in court and you never thought the person you love and care about would do something like this you always thought you can trust them if I was you I would not go as it will make you feel worse you can also read it on paper did he say why he did it I gess you also have socail involved have you thought if Wht to do for the future yet socail seems to have only one think that they can't stop asking is have you though of your relationship to be honest that's the last thing on your mind but my advice will be take a day by day it will take time I am 3 years down in the journey and it's not been easy at all if you need a chat feel free to message hun you are not on your own x

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Hi. Sorry you are going through this. We were surprised that we got legal aid for a not guilty plea but even with it we are still over 10k down. So I get your decision about guilty plea. Such a horrible system. I've spent 3 1/2 years bouncing from believing to not believing and I'm still not sure. He denies everything but thousands of images and a chat with a decoy dispute this. He sent me the email with all the evidence, it was horrible and nearly broke me. I went to plea hearing, it was quick and painless, not too much detail. I wasn't going to crown court but I've decided I will now go. Currently being the supportive mother of his children and letting it play out. I found out truths that hurt me and things I am not comfortable with so I know our marriage is over but who knows if he did what they said. I feel I have to support him because of the kids...he is their Dad whatever happens. I found the police were very open and told me most of it so the evidence wasn't as much of a shock as it could have been. You will find out things that you need to know so I recommend sticking with it for your own sanity, but also recommend doing what is right for you. As a mum you have to put yourself first, you can't be there for the kids unless you are ok. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you x

Hi, my ex was convicted of similar crimes and went to prison. When he phoned me from prison he told me that he'd had these feelings since he was 13. He was 47 when he was arrested and we'd been married since we were 29. We have 4 children. He kept a lid on it until two years before the arrest. During those two years his behaviour completely changed. I was convinced he was having an affair. I would question him every day and he'd look me in the eyes and tell me that he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be. Of course I now know what he was doing. The shock was immense. He left me destitute and on benefits. Although the shock was horrific along with everything that went with it, I felt terribly sorry for him. I felt let down by societies hysteria around all this. I wish he could've gone somewhere to talk about it and it might not have come to The Knock. I divorced him within first year although I visited him every other week in prison. I did so for my younger two kids sakes because they weren't allowed any contact with him at all which was devastating. I found it, and still do, very difficult to wrap my head around the fact that I'd married someone like that. The fact that he got married in the first place was just beyond my comprehension. He was full of remorse and he thought that I might've walked away along with the kids. We didn't. We all supported him as best we could. Those years were truly awful. After he was released I thought there's no way he'd do it again. He's been through too much, lost everything and put me and our children through utter Hell. Life went on for a few years. He was living elsewhere. Then two years ago he was rearrested for the same thing. I was staggered. We are still waiting for it to go to court but he's going back to prison. We've been through Hell again. I was so naive to think he wouldn't do it again. I know now that he will always lie, cover his backside and put "it" above us - ALWAYS. I was in court when he was sentenced the first time along with my oldest daughter. That was a huge mistake. The things they described were completely beyond anything I could ever imagine.
How do I cope with what he's done and the detail? I don't. I've become housebound and am very ill. I have PTSD. I have no one apart from my son and I live hour by hour, day by day. I'm simply existing. I'm so sorry that I can't be more upbeat about it and tell you I've turned my life around. I haven't and I can't. Much love to you. Xx