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Teaching 4 year old to stay safe

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C123

Member since
September 2019

20 posts

Posted Tue October 15, 2019 7:49pmReport post

Hi all, ive posted before about partner having unsupervised contact towards our four year old. today we had a child protection conference, and the chair of the meeting agreed that we had been doing all we can to move forward, and they have advised that we have an independant family assessment completed by LFF, which i am more than happy for this to happen.

Although i teach my son how to keep himself safe on a daily basis and have worked really hard on ensuring that he knows not to tell secrets and to come to mummy if he is ever scared.

The chair wondered what keep safe work can be done with our child so he can show how to keep himself safe. I was wondering if anyone knows of any activities or workbooks, roleplay that i can share with my son in an age appropriate manner so he can show that he can keep himself safe, hes quite a bright little boy, and forward for his age, although i can appreciate its quite a sensitive situation, but hes not interested in reading books, he is more of a doing child.



Are there any apps i can download?

I have ordered one book, which is really for myself so i can input things appropriately.

If anyone can help, i would really appreciate it.

Thanks guys

x

Big sigh

Member since
December 2018

244 posts

Posted Wed October 16, 2019 8:19amReport post

Hi

sounds like the CP Conference didn’t go as bad as you feared, so that is positive. Have you looked at any of the NSPCC PANTS stuff - this is the work that all kids often do in primary school - mine certainly did, though they usually do it older than 4, but I think you could adapt it for your son. One of the key things is for you to have age appropriate conversations with him when he is ready and ensure you use the correct name for body parts. This is something I always did anyway, and I was quite surprised that people used “ code” words for genital areas still. My mum used to use the word “tuppence” for my private parts but I have never used words ,ike that with my kids!

I think also instilling safe boundaries in terms of when daddy uses toilet, gets changed, etc. Usually I would say there was nothing unsafe about a son seeing his dad get changed, however in our circumstances it would be safer for everyone if there are safe boundaries there.

at age 4 I think it is much more about you noticing on behalf of your son rather than him having to keep himself safe.

C123

Member since
September 2019

20 posts

Posted Wed October 16, 2019 7:00pmReport post

Thank you big sigh,

I've had a book arrive today which is about keeping safe, which is very good. Due to my partner wanting unsupervised, we need to prove to social workers that our son can show he can keep himself safe, which I know he can do if I continue doing age appropriate work with him, I've got lots of print outs from nspcc and the pants rule, I'm going to have a look on Pinterest and see what else is around that I can input.



Thank you for your help.

Rainbow

Member since
January 2019

282 posts

Posted Thu October 17, 2019 6:59amReport post

Hi C123

Sorry I know we've spoken before but can you remind me of your situation? Has your partner been convicted yet if so what for and what was the sentence? My situation is similar to yours and I would like to start the process of unsupervised. My kids are 14 and 15. Thanks x