Fridays check in x
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Afternoon lovlies x
Hope you are all doing ok, and for those of you who are struggling, I send a huge hug and to let you know you are not alone, we are all here to help, support where we can xx
A full busy week at work for me but it has flown by again
The weather while the sunshine is beautiful the night heat has been stifelling but today the wind has kept it a lot cooler
I have a visit tomorrow with HC, we had a video call on Tuesday and he is continuing to do well, he said how hot it has been and the ventilation fans were down for the weekend and Monday he said the heat was unbearable, I thought he had washed his hair and just left it wet on the video call, oops it was pure sweat lol , he said the shower temperature was on maximum heat and you cannot control the temperature either such small things I take for granted, but he still remains in good spirits so that's all I can hope for xx
I hope you all have something nice to do over the weekend x
Love sent as always xx
Hope you are all doing ok, and for those of you who are struggling, I send a huge hug and to let you know you are not alone, we are all here to help, support where we can xx
A full busy week at work for me but it has flown by again
The weather while the sunshine is beautiful the night heat has been stifelling but today the wind has kept it a lot cooler
I have a visit tomorrow with HC, we had a video call on Tuesday and he is continuing to do well, he said how hot it has been and the ventilation fans were down for the weekend and Monday he said the heat was unbearable, I thought he had washed his hair and just left it wet on the video call, oops it was pure sweat lol , he said the shower temperature was on maximum heat and you cannot control the temperature either such small things I take for granted, but he still remains in good spirits so that's all I can hope for xx
I hope you all have something nice to do over the weekend x
Love sent as always xx
Afternoon upset and everyone x
Hope everyone has been enjoying the sunshine. The nights have been stifling especially now my OH is back at home in the nighttime. It is a huge adjustment after having the bed to myself for over a year.
It has been a really busy week at work as usual and I've been a bit snappy with colleagues, especially when they say "can you just.....". I've got enough work to do without adding to it.
It has been a big week for my daughter. She had her prom on Tuesday and she looked stunning in her red dress with her long red hair. She wasn't sure about going as she hasn't got many friends at school anymore and the few friends she has got, seem to exclude her in everything. But she had a good time and it's the last thing with her school. Then she had her hair cut the following day, ready for a new start when she goes to college in September. Her boyfriend is on holiday this week and she has really been missing him. I will be glad when he gets back so she can go to this house while I'm at work. At the moment, as my OH isn't allowed unsupervised contact with her in the daytime, he has to be out the house and find something to do while I'm at work. So he's going on loads of walks even though he is in constant pain in his legs.
Tomorrow night I am looking after my baby granddaughter overnight while my daughter goes out partying. Hoping she will behave herself.
Hope everyone has been enjoying the sunshine. The nights have been stifling especially now my OH is back at home in the nighttime. It is a huge adjustment after having the bed to myself for over a year.
It has been a really busy week at work as usual and I've been a bit snappy with colleagues, especially when they say "can you just.....". I've got enough work to do without adding to it.
It has been a big week for my daughter. She had her prom on Tuesday and she looked stunning in her red dress with her long red hair. She wasn't sure about going as she hasn't got many friends at school anymore and the few friends she has got, seem to exclude her in everything. But she had a good time and it's the last thing with her school. Then she had her hair cut the following day, ready for a new start when she goes to college in September. Her boyfriend is on holiday this week and she has really been missing him. I will be glad when he gets back so she can go to this house while I'm at work. At the moment, as my OH isn't allowed unsupervised contact with her in the daytime, he has to be out the house and find something to do while I'm at work. So he's going on loads of walks even though he is in constant pain in his legs.
Tomorrow night I am looking after my baby granddaughter overnight while my daughter goes out partying. Hoping she will behave herself.
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Hi everyone,
This is my first check in and sadly won't be my last. Tomorrow is a week since the knock, and I'm still feeling every emotion under the sun.
I still can't grasp the fact that this is my life in limbo for at least the next year. We should be looking forward to days at the beach and long walks along the river.
Im feeling very woe is me then I have a fleeting thought everything will be ok. My brain soon shoots that feeling down!
Im usually an avid reader but can't bring myself to finish my book, so I'm currently working my way throigh wildlife documentaries!
I hope everyone else is having a better week x
This is my first check in and sadly won't be my last. Tomorrow is a week since the knock, and I'm still feeling every emotion under the sun.
I still can't grasp the fact that this is my life in limbo for at least the next year. We should be looking forward to days at the beach and long walks along the river.
Im feeling very woe is me then I have a fleeting thought everything will be ok. My brain soon shoots that feeling down!
Im usually an avid reader but can't bring myself to finish my book, so I'm currently working my way throigh wildlife documentaries!
I hope everyone else is having a better week x
Smile x
Sending the biggest fluffiest hugs to engulf you with my love as always xx
Sending the biggest fluffiest hugs to engulf you with my love as always xx
Dawn x
I can just imagine she looked beautiful and so pleased she had a lovely time, how amazing she has had a change in her look getting her hair cut, a new look for her next chapter x
The heat has been awful at night but as much as you have gotten used to having the bed to yourself it is really nice that OH is no longer living in the car and can sleep in a decent bed
Aww having bubba will give you a well deserved distraction, hopefully she will sleep well xx
I can just imagine she looked beautiful and so pleased she had a lovely time, how amazing she has had a change in her look getting her hair cut, a new look for her next chapter x
The heat has been awful at night but as much as you have gotten used to having the bed to yourself it is really nice that OH is no longer living in the car and can sleep in a decent bed
Aww having bubba will give you a well deserved distraction, hopefully she will sleep well xx
Terrified x
Welcome to the Friday check in and I am so sorry you have found yourself here x
It's a journey that we could not imagine to be on, and the emotions you are going through is normal, I hope you have some support and all I can say is we are here for you so if you need us please reach out x
I think we are all guilty of thinking of the life we thought we had, things to look forward to, and just living a stress free life then the knock happens and everything is turned upside down, inside out , try to take a day at a time, there is no rush to make decisions, we cannot control this journey but the number one priority is YOU
Reach out to your GP, call the helpline,
Sending strength and hugs xx
Welcome to the Friday check in and I am so sorry you have found yourself here x
It's a journey that we could not imagine to be on, and the emotions you are going through is normal, I hope you have some support and all I can say is we are here for you so if you need us please reach out x
I think we are all guilty of thinking of the life we thought we had, things to look forward to, and just living a stress free life then the knock happens and everything is turned upside down, inside out , try to take a day at a time, there is no rush to make decisions, we cannot control this journey but the number one priority is YOU
Reach out to your GP, call the helpline,
Sending strength and hugs xx
Hello friday check in
This week has been a mixed bag. Last week my eldest dog had to put down. The day after my middle son emigrated. He was the first child to leave home and he has gone right across the world. So it has been quite hard for me this week. Also this week it has been 2 years since the knock. Each year on the day I try and do something nice to change my memories of the day. Each anniversary I have woken up early and think this time X number of years ago the police were knocking my door. I feel the fear all over again, but taking the day off work and doing something nice, I hopefully will change this mindset. I think it helps that my OH will have a room to himself as he will have my sons room. This will give us space as he is currently sleeping in the lounge, which means we never had a break when we are home. The result is i try and go out, alot...
But it has also been a nice week, went out shopping with my daughter and we had cocktails that i love. My daughter does not like shopping much so it is a rare outing but it was fun.
For people who think they have to make a decision about to leave or go, I have yet to make that decision. I go from wanting to stay, to leaving, to divorce to just living together without being together. Though it does not fill my thoughts 24/7 like it used to. I have learned to let things try out, to see what my body wants to do. After going to a councillor for many months, I came to the conclusion that I was putting myself in limbo and this was in fact waht was holding me back, from living. So I am trying to make a more relaxed view. I thought by this time I would have made a decision, to stay or leave, what I am trying to say is there is no time limit for this decision.
Hope everyone manages to get to have a nice weeekend. X
This week has been a mixed bag. Last week my eldest dog had to put down. The day after my middle son emigrated. He was the first child to leave home and he has gone right across the world. So it has been quite hard for me this week. Also this week it has been 2 years since the knock. Each year on the day I try and do something nice to change my memories of the day. Each anniversary I have woken up early and think this time X number of years ago the police were knocking my door. I feel the fear all over again, but taking the day off work and doing something nice, I hopefully will change this mindset. I think it helps that my OH will have a room to himself as he will have my sons room. This will give us space as he is currently sleeping in the lounge, which means we never had a break when we are home. The result is i try and go out, alot...
But it has also been a nice week, went out shopping with my daughter and we had cocktails that i love. My daughter does not like shopping much so it is a rare outing but it was fun.
For people who think they have to make a decision about to leave or go, I have yet to make that decision. I go from wanting to stay, to leaving, to divorce to just living together without being together. Though it does not fill my thoughts 24/7 like it used to. I have learned to let things try out, to see what my body wants to do. After going to a councillor for many months, I came to the conclusion that I was putting myself in limbo and this was in fact waht was holding me back, from living. So I am trying to make a more relaxed view. I thought by this time I would have made a decision, to stay or leave, what I am trying to say is there is no time limit for this decision.
Hope everyone manages to get to have a nice weeekend. X
Good evening Friday check in,
I've been on annual leave this week so have spent time in my happy place, the beach. I managed to get into the sea and saw a jelly fish floating right next to me. I also spent a day with my mum and sisters as my mum had to have some surgery (nothing serious) so we decided to all meet up and spend the day together.
Today I gave 2 of the grandchildren their birthday present which was a trampoline for my garden. Tomorrow I'm planing on another beach day, this time with the grandchildren and on Sunday I'm going to a kundalini yoga workshop.
Thinking of you all and looking forward to the family and friends virtual gathering for those of you who'll be attending.
I've been on annual leave this week so have spent time in my happy place, the beach. I managed to get into the sea and saw a jelly fish floating right next to me. I also spent a day with my mum and sisters as my mum had to have some surgery (nothing serious) so we decided to all meet up and spend the day together.
Today I gave 2 of the grandchildren their birthday present which was a trampoline for my garden. Tomorrow I'm planing on another beach day, this time with the grandchildren and on Sunday I'm going to a kundalini yoga workshop.
Thinking of you all and looking forward to the family and friends virtual gathering for those of you who'll be attending.
Hi Upset and all,
Sending huge hugs and support to all those who have recently joined us- always remember that you are not alone we are all here to help and support you xx
Upset I hope your visit with the HC goes well.
Smile sending you so much love my lovely xxx
Dawn I bet your daughter looked beautiful xx
I am currently on holiday and for the first time in 3 years since the knock I am feeling able to relax a little knowing that my son is now in a much better place mentally and physically and that we are all moving forward.
love and hugs to everyone as always and thank you so much for being here xxxx
Sending huge hugs and support to all those who have recently joined us- always remember that you are not alone we are all here to help and support you xx
Upset I hope your visit with the HC goes well.
Smile sending you so much love my lovely xxx
Dawn I bet your daughter looked beautiful xx
I am currently on holiday and for the first time in 3 years since the knock I am feeling able to relax a little knowing that my son is now in a much better place mentally and physically and that we are all moving forward.
love and hugs to everyone as always and thank you so much for being here xxxx
Hello Friday check in,
It's been a busy, good, happy, bad, sad, tough kinda week for me.
Work's been busy and I've had some laughs with my colleagues (who know a lot about the situation and are hugely supportive), but it's also been extremely tough, as today I've moved in with my parents.
I've had to for support, as I've not been coping well at home on my own. My soon-to-be-ex-husband moved out a while ago and I've come to hate living in our house. It used to be a happy and safe place where we lived together for many years and had invested a lot of money on improvements, but now I know some of what he was doing there (indecent behaviour, as well as all the illegal things we're all on this forum for) and it's made me feel so sick. Everything feels dirty and sullied.
The house is on the market and has been for a while but with very little interest, even though it's a lovely property. I just want it to sell so I can start moving forward with my new, totally unexpected life alone.
So now I'm at my parents - who know everything and are incredible - for the foreseeable and I feel slightly ridiculous at nearly 50 and very much a failure...
It's been a busy, good, happy, bad, sad, tough kinda week for me.
Work's been busy and I've had some laughs with my colleagues (who know a lot about the situation and are hugely supportive), but it's also been extremely tough, as today I've moved in with my parents.
I've had to for support, as I've not been coping well at home on my own. My soon-to-be-ex-husband moved out a while ago and I've come to hate living in our house. It used to be a happy and safe place where we lived together for many years and had invested a lot of money on improvements, but now I know some of what he was doing there (indecent behaviour, as well as all the illegal things we're all on this forum for) and it's made me feel so sick. Everything feels dirty and sullied.
The house is on the market and has been for a while but with very little interest, even though it's a lovely property. I just want it to sell so I can start moving forward with my new, totally unexpected life alone.
So now I'm at my parents - who know everything and are incredible - for the foreseeable and I feel slightly ridiculous at nearly 50 and very much a failure...
How did the visit go - we need a list of HC consumption during your visit?
Evening lovlies x
Smile he did well :-)
6 crumpets
2 bags of crisps
A bag of minstrels
2 x magnum ice lollys
Bourbon biscuits
Chocolate cake
3 x pots of icecream
A bottle of Oasis
Oh and some salted peanuts
Today's visit went so quickly but we talked so much
I am so incredibly proud of how much he has grown and how open and honest he is about his offending and how he ended up here, I do not for one second condone what he has done, but honestly as we know from here the journeys that have ended in such sad circumstances, for the 19 months he was RUI he was suicidal, for the 9 months on remand he was suicidal and started to self harm, to where he is now, he has come of his antidepressants (his decision) yes we have a long journey ahead , and we will get through it x
Smile he did well :-)
6 crumpets
2 bags of crisps
A bag of minstrels
2 x magnum ice lollys
Bourbon biscuits
Chocolate cake
3 x pots of icecream
A bottle of Oasis
Oh and some salted peanuts
Today's visit went so quickly but we talked so much
I am so incredibly proud of how much he has grown and how open and honest he is about his offending and how he ended up here, I do not for one second condone what he has done, but honestly as we know from here the journeys that have ended in such sad circumstances, for the 19 months he was RUI he was suicidal, for the 9 months on remand he was suicidal and started to self harm, to where he is now, he has come of his antidepressants (his decision) yes we have a long journey ahead , and we will get through it x
Like you Upset, I am proud how my boy has coped with prison and his sheer determination to fight and rehabilitate. Get his life back on track.
I'm so pleased you had a good visit and that HC had a good feast.
Upset and Smile, your boys are doing so well and must be so pleased to know how proud you are of them.
Upset and Smile, your boys are doing so well and must be so pleased to know how proud you are of them.
Sorry to jump on this thread but would like to offer hope and support to Lost and Torn
I understand all your feelings. It's taken 2 and a half years for me to sell our house and for me to buy my own home. Whilst going through this I had to live with friends because I couldn't stand to be in it. I was miserable, eaten away with anger and fury about my spoiled retirement plans . I felt worthless.
Life gets better, I felt immensely happier the moment I put the key into the door of my safe haven. I've started dating and life is better.
Please don't worry You will get there. Don't feel a failure, none of this is down to you. Time is a great healer and things will work out for you xx
I understand all your feelings. It's taken 2 and a half years for me to sell our house and for me to buy my own home. Whilst going through this I had to live with friends because I couldn't stand to be in it. I was miserable, eaten away with anger and fury about my spoiled retirement plans . I felt worthless.
Life gets better, I felt immensely happier the moment I put the key into the door of my safe haven. I've started dating and life is better.
Please don't worry You will get there. Don't feel a failure, none of this is down to you. Time is a great healer and things will work out for you xx
Lost x
I am so sorry for the pain you have been going through on this journey
I just wanted to point out that no matter what the future holds you are absolutely NOT a failure, it dosent matter that you moved home with your parents, they will be there for you always, and I can only imagine how hard it was for you staying in your home so for your own sanity having family around you is what you need, the house will sell, you will be able to start to rebuild ,
Take a day at a time, take time to heal, worry about what you can control, try not to overthink (easier said than done)
You are absolutely incredibly strong and things will be ok, be kind to yourself x
We are all here for you xx
I am so sorry for the pain you have been going through on this journey
I just wanted to point out that no matter what the future holds you are absolutely NOT a failure, it dosent matter that you moved home with your parents, they will be there for you always, and I can only imagine how hard it was for you staying in your home so for your own sanity having family around you is what you need, the house will sell, you will be able to start to rebuild ,
Take a day at a time, take time to heal, worry about what you can control, try not to overthink (easier said than done)
You are absolutely incredibly strong and things will be ok, be kind to yourself x
We are all here for you xx
Thanks Upset, I needed to hear all of that. Everyone tells me I'm strong but I don't feel it. It's like I'm faking everthing, trying to be happy and appreciate the things I used to, but I just... don't. Everything takes so much more effort than it used to. I'm waiting for help from my local Wellbeing service to try and treat my newly-diagnosed PTSD and it can't come soon enough, but there's a 2-3 month wait. Meanwile, I miss what we had SO much, we used to be so happy and had a great life, but I know without a doubt I couldn't stay with him when the betrayal is so deep and goes back SO many years. I've completely lost myself. xx
Lost xx
It's not faking it lovely its called surviving and each and everyone of us do it to self preservation
You may not feel strong but you are
This journey can certainly bring each one of us to our knees, we miss the life we build, the home we created, while my son is the offender my second husband (not my 3's dad) left a year after the knock, we had some beautiful long weekends away , we always did something together, and when he left I didn't know how I would cope, but we learn to adjust
When the house is sold , you can then decide on what you want to do, it will be hard and the sad times out weigh the good at the moment
I promise you will find yourself,
No one or nothing can take away the incredible person who has just lost their way , you will learn to live for what you want
Never think you are alone as we are here for you xx
It's not faking it lovely its called surviving and each and everyone of us do it to self preservation
You may not feel strong but you are
This journey can certainly bring each one of us to our knees, we miss the life we build, the home we created, while my son is the offender my second husband (not my 3's dad) left a year after the knock, we had some beautiful long weekends away , we always did something together, and when he left I didn't know how I would cope, but we learn to adjust
When the house is sold , you can then decide on what you want to do, it will be hard and the sad times out weigh the good at the moment
I promise you will find yourself,
No one or nothing can take away the incredible person who has just lost their way , you will learn to live for what you want
Never think you are alone as we are here for you xx
Thank you Upset, it's so good to have the support of people who truly understand, and it's hugely appreciated xx
Hi Losteverything, it's really good to read what you've achieved and that there's hope for the future, thank you for sharing it x