Will SS add to bail conditions
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SS has finally been in contact and is coming Monday later afternoon.
Husbands bail conditions are no sleeping over and no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18.
ive taken him off parental lists at school and college before SS did. My children 15 & 11 know the rules. He has been round this week after work for a couple of hours then leaves to sleep on my Grandmas living room floor.
will SS be angry he's been round before they have been? Will they change the bail conditions or add to them and reduce contact?
husband was arrested for intelligence on one image they have.
Thank you
Husbands bail conditions are no sleeping over and no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18.
ive taken him off parental lists at school and college before SS did. My children 15 & 11 know the rules. He has been round this week after work for a couple of hours then leaves to sleep on my Grandmas living room floor.
will SS be angry he's been round before they have been? Will they change the bail conditions or add to them and reduce contact?
husband was arrested for intelligence on one image they have.
Thank you
The bail conditions are set out by the police so they can't change them. They can try to put stuff in place themselves but right up a safety plan over the weekend anything you can think of to protect the kids, what happens if his there and you need to go out, take the keys off him for house so he can't get in that sort of thing.
My oh was still coming round each day all day when ss first came round and they asked questions I stated I was staying with him but my children and safety would always come first and that was how it stayed until sentencing x
My oh was still coming round each day all day when ss first came round and they asked questions I stated I was staying with him but my children and safety would always come first and that was how it stayed until sentencing x
Hi scared
Thank you, this is my stance really.
Ive taken his keys and taken him off parental responsibility at school. He works longer hours than me so even before this he was very very rarely home with the kids anyway because that's just how it was.
They are 15 & almost 12.
Then I'm assuming I follow him round the house whenever he leaves a room?
Thank you, this is my stance really.
Ive taken his keys and taken him off parental responsibility at school. He works longer hours than me so even before this he was very very rarely home with the kids anyway because that's just how it was.
They are 15 & almost 12.
Then I'm assuming I follow him round the house whenever he leaves a room?
Been as there older I would tell him he would need to stay in same room as you and if he needs toilet then make sure the kids are with you. Mine are younger so they was always with me so if he needed the toilet it didn't really matter. I remember the once the sw was round and we was cooking tea my oh was cooking whilst I was speaking to her and our children kept going in kitchen and she never said anything which I thought was weird because he was technically alone with them
Hi,
I think due to the ages of your children and the fact that they're aware of what's happening you might find that ss are happy with what you've done.
In terms of supervision and either of you going to the toilet that should be fine as you'll remain within earshot of your OH and/or the children. Taking them to the toilet with you once they're school age isn't really appropriate so for me common sense should prevail at your children's ages.
Usually at this age they will speak to you and ask if the children are willing to speak to them too. Our sw asked mine (17 and 14 at knock) what their interests were, how they found school, their feelings on the situation and their relationship with my partner (was it good). Feel free to message if you'd like any support with your safety plan. I found it easier to write a list of bullet points that I could expand on if the sw asked. Keep it simple, with supervision you eliminate most risk anyway so it doesn't have to be massively in depth. Include what you've already done and a plan for if there is an emergency situation, who would be there for the children to go to or who could sit with them if you needed to be elsewhere xxx
I think due to the ages of your children and the fact that they're aware of what's happening you might find that ss are happy with what you've done.
In terms of supervision and either of you going to the toilet that should be fine as you'll remain within earshot of your OH and/or the children. Taking them to the toilet with you once they're school age isn't really appropriate so for me common sense should prevail at your children's ages.
Usually at this age they will speak to you and ask if the children are willing to speak to them too. Our sw asked mine (17 and 14 at knock) what their interests were, how they found school, their feelings on the situation and their relationship with my partner (was it good). Feel free to message if you'd like any support with your safety plan. I found it easier to write a list of bullet points that I could expand on if the sw asked. Keep it simple, with supervision you eliminate most risk anyway so it doesn't have to be massively in depth. Include what you've already done and a plan for if there is an emergency situation, who would be there for the children to go to or who could sit with them if you needed to be elsewhere xxx
Hello terrifiedandalone,
Supervision wise... I have my husband follow me! That way the children don't have to be disturbed, moved around ect. If I need to go to the toilet he will follow me, if things need doing out of a room I am in with the children he will leave and do it or he will leave when I leave to do it. We all prefer it this way and SS we're pleased that it was putting the children first with how supervision impacts them.
Like others have said, remove his key so he's never in the house when you are not.
Because of the children's age you don't need to worry about bedtime routines or personal care and you've told them what has happened and they will both have an excellent understanding of right and wrong personal touch, so that's all excellent as they are big issues with SS.
This website actually has a template safety plan you can print and write on... I printed it, my oh and I wrote it all up and then each signed it and dated it.
I'd suggest calling the helpline and asking advice on what to put in a safety plan, then you got it all covered and you can say you used this website to create a robust safety plan, which shows that you are taking it seriously.
Have you have open communication with their schools? SS will contact them for information about their attendance, behaviour and any concerns they have. They would ideally like to see you have a good relationship with the schools.
They will contact your oh probation officer and check he is talking part in all that is asked of him and going to all of the appointments.
My guess would be they'll do one of 2 things. They will come and do an assessment, talk to you asking you questions, talk to your children and check they are okay and that they are happy with seeing there dad, talk to the school... Then say they are happy and would like you to carry on as you are OR they will do all of the above and then decided to put you on a temporary Child In Need Plan and use the 12 weeks of that plan to put some things in place for support for the children (maybe some therapy) support for you also maybe therapy and the PO will use that time to help you oh to find a room to rent.
At Child In Need Plan will entail, the SW coming out to see you and the children every 3 weeks and a meeting every 6 weeks. The meeting will be... You, your oh, both school heads, probation officer and SS. All saying how they can offer support.
I hope that all helped. You're doing really well. Please feel free to message me if you want. xx
Supervision wise... I have my husband follow me! That way the children don't have to be disturbed, moved around ect. If I need to go to the toilet he will follow me, if things need doing out of a room I am in with the children he will leave and do it or he will leave when I leave to do it. We all prefer it this way and SS we're pleased that it was putting the children first with how supervision impacts them.
Like others have said, remove his key so he's never in the house when you are not.
Because of the children's age you don't need to worry about bedtime routines or personal care and you've told them what has happened and they will both have an excellent understanding of right and wrong personal touch, so that's all excellent as they are big issues with SS.
This website actually has a template safety plan you can print and write on... I printed it, my oh and I wrote it all up and then each signed it and dated it.
I'd suggest calling the helpline and asking advice on what to put in a safety plan, then you got it all covered and you can say you used this website to create a robust safety plan, which shows that you are taking it seriously.
Have you have open communication with their schools? SS will contact them for information about their attendance, behaviour and any concerns they have. They would ideally like to see you have a good relationship with the schools.
They will contact your oh probation officer and check he is talking part in all that is asked of him and going to all of the appointments.
My guess would be they'll do one of 2 things. They will come and do an assessment, talk to you asking you questions, talk to your children and check they are okay and that they are happy with seeing there dad, talk to the school... Then say they are happy and would like you to carry on as you are OR they will do all of the above and then decided to put you on a temporary Child In Need Plan and use the 12 weeks of that plan to put some things in place for support for the children (maybe some therapy) support for you also maybe therapy and the PO will use that time to help you oh to find a room to rent.
At Child In Need Plan will entail, the SW coming out to see you and the children every 3 weeks and a meeting every 6 weeks. The meeting will be... You, your oh, both school heads, probation officer and SS. All saying how they can offer support.
I hope that all helped. You're doing really well. Please feel free to message me if you want. xx