Stressed and upset!
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Hi everyone
I wondered if anyone has had a similar situation to me. I've been left so upset and stressed today.
A couple of weeks ago we had a child in need review meeting where the social worker (with her managers oversight) advised us that my children's father can have unsupervised contact with them out and about in the community (previously I had to supervise all contact).
Now it suddenly dawned on me today that he had been having this unsupervised contact, however his bail conditions hadn't actually been changed (no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18). I contacted the solicitors and they were shocked that social care said this was allowed as if the police found out he was breaching bail he could of been arrested and put before the courts earlier than his crown court date hearing later in the year (it has been adjourned due to it being low risk apparently). I have been told we must apply through the solicitor to court to amend conditions so now my children's dad has to go back to no unsupervised - they have been having great times at the weekend going to football, fishing, swimming etc and it seems so unfair on the children to take this away again whilst they essentially tick a few boxes on some paperwork.
I expressed my upset with the social worker and her manager - not even a word of apology. I have said I no longer want to engage with the child in need plan/process (as child in need is voluntary) and as I don't believe the case would meet the threshold for child protection, I want them out of my life. They have caused nothing but stress and upset. I am shocked with the way things have been handled! How can they make these decisions without checking all the facts first! I was also making all these phone calls today in between trying to work all day - it made me so angry.
has anyone had any similar situations?!
xxxxxx
I wondered if anyone has had a similar situation to me. I've been left so upset and stressed today.
A couple of weeks ago we had a child in need review meeting where the social worker (with her managers oversight) advised us that my children's father can have unsupervised contact with them out and about in the community (previously I had to supervise all contact).
Now it suddenly dawned on me today that he had been having this unsupervised contact, however his bail conditions hadn't actually been changed (no unsupervised contact with anyone under 18). I contacted the solicitors and they were shocked that social care said this was allowed as if the police found out he was breaching bail he could of been arrested and put before the courts earlier than his crown court date hearing later in the year (it has been adjourned due to it being low risk apparently). I have been told we must apply through the solicitor to court to amend conditions so now my children's dad has to go back to no unsupervised - they have been having great times at the weekend going to football, fishing, swimming etc and it seems so unfair on the children to take this away again whilst they essentially tick a few boxes on some paperwork.
I expressed my upset with the social worker and her manager - not even a word of apology. I have said I no longer want to engage with the child in need plan/process (as child in need is voluntary) and as I don't believe the case would meet the threshold for child protection, I want them out of my life. They have caused nothing but stress and upset. I am shocked with the way things have been handled! How can they make these decisions without checking all the facts first! I was also making all these phone calls today in between trying to work all day - it made me so angry.
has anyone had any similar situations?!
xxxxxx
Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this additional worry. My person was never on bail as he was RUI from day one. Following sentencing he was given a 10 year SHPO which states 'no unsupervised contact with under 18's unless agreed with the parent and SS'. At the moment his ex wife would support the unsupervised contact but SS won't, so opposite to your SS. I'm just wondering if there is a clause in your persons bail which states 'unless agreed by SS' or if not whether SS thought there was.
FelicityWish
This is incredibly frustrating for you all. Once you've canned the CIN, I'd be making a complaint. Sending lots of love. X
This is incredibly frustrating for you all. Once you've canned the CIN, I'd be making a complaint. Sending lots of love. X
Hello, the police had said from day 1 they were happy for there to be a clause of unsupervised for his own children but as it's now in the hands of the courts it has to be applied for by the solicitors and social care can't just make the decision themselves
the solicitors have now applied for full unsupervised access so let's see what the courts agree to
thank you for replying to me guys :)
the solicitors have now applied for full unsupervised access so let's see what the courts agree to
thank you for replying to me guys :)
What a nightmare. You'd hope the two agencies involved would work together/be aware of that. Hoping you get it sorted! Thanks for sharing as it's something we can all keep an eye out for.
It's been like a game of ping pong between social care and the police, it's been exhausting and the amount of admin and phone calls I have had to do is ridiculous. No word of an apology from social care but the meeting next week has come up as cancelled via email so I guess their involvement has ended, though I'm not holding my breath until I get it finalised in writing. Unbelievable!
FelicityWish
Unfortunately I've had another terrible experience with SS again today and have had to pick up the pieces after they've re-traumatised the whole family support unit and left 3 of the 4 of us in tears. I've had to give a massive pep talk and beg our person to speak to LFF or Samaritans as they're devastated and talking how this all goes away if they do.
We've been on CIN for 5 weeks under police bail (no charges) multiple meetings to discuss CIN.
SS rang today to say they're having a strategic meeting on Monday to escalate our CIN (which I've still not had a copy of and had a factually incorrect danger statement in) to a CPP. Admitted that they hadn't had an update from OIC or checked for updates yet; despite OIC letting me know today device search is complete and I can have them back next week, but the phone only once they've reviewed the report.
Im devastated as a CPP has never been mentioned, nobody has explained what it is, nothing. When said I didn't know what it entails and asked about it and said one had never been discussed before she told me (each time I asked) I could GOOGLE it!! I asked why this was being escalated suddenly despite strictly following guidance and were under the impression they were happy with it (had no feedback to say otherwise). We've done research and put contingencies in place based on some of the really helpful LFF guides and resources/links. we've all been reading every resource we can about prevention, safeguarding, spotting signs and rehab/therapy to prevent any worrying behaviours. Stuck to the supervision to the letter. I'm selling everything in sight to pay for courses and therapy etc but haven't been able to speak to anyone who can tell me which is best for our scenario -the SS just avoids answering the question and says itll be covered in a capacity to protect assessment which also hasn't been done yet. I'm not aware of a risk assessment being carried out on our person yet either but not sure when this is done (they could have done it without us).
When I queried why/what the reason was for CPP instead of CIN as we were previously told the intention is for risk to go down over time not up, they said we should have probably been on a CPP from The start. Im so confused and worried about how this will affect my child and the mental health risks to his dad. He's hanging by a thread as it is with all the guilt and self loathing that he's put us in this position.
most of all I'm shocked at the lack of support or guidance to navigate what happens next for me as the safeguarding/non offending parent. I thought they would provide practical help and support and inform us what the process is, not just leave me to google everything. Every meeting has been cut short when weve had questions because they have to be somewhere else and they're always late.
Any help on what happens next/what to expect would be really helpful. Would now be the best time for our family to do the inform course or should we wait to see what the outcome of the bail/devices report is first?
Unfortunately I've had another terrible experience with SS again today and have had to pick up the pieces after they've re-traumatised the whole family support unit and left 3 of the 4 of us in tears. I've had to give a massive pep talk and beg our person to speak to LFF or Samaritans as they're devastated and talking how this all goes away if they do.
We've been on CIN for 5 weeks under police bail (no charges) multiple meetings to discuss CIN.
SS rang today to say they're having a strategic meeting on Monday to escalate our CIN (which I've still not had a copy of and had a factually incorrect danger statement in) to a CPP. Admitted that they hadn't had an update from OIC or checked for updates yet; despite OIC letting me know today device search is complete and I can have them back next week, but the phone only once they've reviewed the report.
Im devastated as a CPP has never been mentioned, nobody has explained what it is, nothing. When said I didn't know what it entails and asked about it and said one had never been discussed before she told me (each time I asked) I could GOOGLE it!! I asked why this was being escalated suddenly despite strictly following guidance and were under the impression they were happy with it (had no feedback to say otherwise). We've done research and put contingencies in place based on some of the really helpful LFF guides and resources/links. we've all been reading every resource we can about prevention, safeguarding, spotting signs and rehab/therapy to prevent any worrying behaviours. Stuck to the supervision to the letter. I'm selling everything in sight to pay for courses and therapy etc but haven't been able to speak to anyone who can tell me which is best for our scenario -the SS just avoids answering the question and says itll be covered in a capacity to protect assessment which also hasn't been done yet. I'm not aware of a risk assessment being carried out on our person yet either but not sure when this is done (they could have done it without us).
When I queried why/what the reason was for CPP instead of CIN as we were previously told the intention is for risk to go down over time not up, they said we should have probably been on a CPP from The start. Im so confused and worried about how this will affect my child and the mental health risks to his dad. He's hanging by a thread as it is with all the guilt and self loathing that he's put us in this position.
most of all I'm shocked at the lack of support or guidance to navigate what happens next for me as the safeguarding/non offending parent. I thought they would provide practical help and support and inform us what the process is, not just leave me to google everything. Every meeting has been cut short when weve had questions because they have to be somewhere else and they're always late.
Any help on what happens next/what to expect would be really helpful. Would now be the best time for our family to do the inform course or should we wait to see what the outcome of the bail/devices report is first?
Holding the grenade -
so sorry to hear what you're going through
I guess it's been lucky in a sense I know many people who work in social care and have been able to gain good advice and guidance from them.
you should be able to get full detail in writing as to why they feel it now meets the threshold for child protection, sometimes child protection is needed as it gives more of a duty to agencies to offer more help and support. Unfortunately what I have learnt is our situations require more senior social workers with lots of experience due to the risk assessments and understanding of the offences, however they often don't have the staffing to provide this. We actually had an apprentice social worker which I think was so wrong as these are complex cases.
I would be more than happy for you to message me to talk further about it :) xxxx
so sorry to hear what you're going through
I guess it's been lucky in a sense I know many people who work in social care and have been able to gain good advice and guidance from them.
you should be able to get full detail in writing as to why they feel it now meets the threshold for child protection, sometimes child protection is needed as it gives more of a duty to agencies to offer more help and support. Unfortunately what I have learnt is our situations require more senior social workers with lots of experience due to the risk assessments and understanding of the offences, however they often don't have the staffing to provide this. We actually had an apprentice social worker which I think was so wrong as these are complex cases.
I would be more than happy for you to message me to talk further about it :) xxxx