PTSD vs Protective adult
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Hi,
was wondering if I could get some opinions of how you view your own vigilance as a protective adult please?
I've recently started studying to become a deep trauma therapist. We spoke about hyper vigilance as a symptom of PTSD and I'm now analysing my own approach to safeguarding my daughter. I know that I struggle with potentially being overly cautious when supervising contact between her and my partner but I also feel highly suspicious of anyone who talks to her.
In all the dealings I've had with ss, lff and circles I've been praised for my vigilance and it's been seen as a huge positive but I'm now questioning whether it's actually to an extreme and if maybe I need support with it. With my oldest I had postnatal depression and was so absolutely dedicated to keeping her safe that I'd cross the road to make sure she wasn't in direct sunlight even with a parasol over her, it literally consumed every second of her first year. I am very aware of how I feel and I know it's not depression but I can't shake this thought of perhaps there's a fine line between this protective adult status we all crave and the impact of ptsd. Mindful that it may be a case of imposter syndrome too. Regular thoughts of who do I think I am to help people who have survived trauma if I'm not through mine?
Is it a me thing or do others feel it too? xxx
was wondering if I could get some opinions of how you view your own vigilance as a protective adult please?
I've recently started studying to become a deep trauma therapist. We spoke about hyper vigilance as a symptom of PTSD and I'm now analysing my own approach to safeguarding my daughter. I know that I struggle with potentially being overly cautious when supervising contact between her and my partner but I also feel highly suspicious of anyone who talks to her.
In all the dealings I've had with ss, lff and circles I've been praised for my vigilance and it's been seen as a huge positive but I'm now questioning whether it's actually to an extreme and if maybe I need support with it. With my oldest I had postnatal depression and was so absolutely dedicated to keeping her safe that I'd cross the road to make sure she wasn't in direct sunlight even with a parasol over her, it literally consumed every second of her first year. I am very aware of how I feel and I know it's not depression but I can't shake this thought of perhaps there's a fine line between this protective adult status we all crave and the impact of ptsd. Mindful that it may be a case of imposter syndrome too. Regular thoughts of who do I think I am to help people who have survived trauma if I'm not through mine?
Is it a me thing or do others feel it too? xxx
Hi Distressed, well done you on doing a course that you'll be able to use your own exoerience in to help others.
I didn't want to read and not reply but I'm mindful of the fact I'm a different situation to you. My husband and I provide the supervised contact between my son and his children. This involves having them to stay at our house, where my son lives, at weekends and during school holidays.
I'm no longer hyper vigilant about the safety between my son and his children but I am hyper vigilant in case they should injure themselves when playing, in case SS sees my son out with the children and don't realise I'm also there, in case they should run into the road etc, etc. We often take them to the park and I'm a nervous wreck in case they fall off the roundabout, slide or swing.
I have 2 other grandchildren who I'm far more relaxed with but until I read your post I hadn't considered how differently I am around them.
My fears stem from the terrible experience we had with SS. Even though the children are no longer open to SS, I fear something will happen to bring them back into our lives. My sons probation officer has suggested several times to him that he needs to challenge the 'no unsupervised contact with under 18's unless agreed with SS' restriction with SS so he can see his children without supervision. As much as he'd love to be able to spend time with his children without his parents tagging along, he too can't face having to re engage with SS whilst these discussions take place,
I didn't want to read and not reply but I'm mindful of the fact I'm a different situation to you. My husband and I provide the supervised contact between my son and his children. This involves having them to stay at our house, where my son lives, at weekends and during school holidays.
I'm no longer hyper vigilant about the safety between my son and his children but I am hyper vigilant in case they should injure themselves when playing, in case SS sees my son out with the children and don't realise I'm also there, in case they should run into the road etc, etc. We often take them to the park and I'm a nervous wreck in case they fall off the roundabout, slide or swing.
I have 2 other grandchildren who I'm far more relaxed with but until I read your post I hadn't considered how differently I am around them.
My fears stem from the terrible experience we had with SS. Even though the children are no longer open to SS, I fear something will happen to bring them back into our lives. My sons probation officer has suggested several times to him that he needs to challenge the 'no unsupervised contact with under 18's unless agreed with SS' restriction with SS so he can see his children without supervision. As much as he'd love to be able to spend time with his children without his parents tagging along, he too can't face having to re engage with SS whilst these discussions take place,
Hi Ocean,
Thank you for replying. I completely hear you on the fears around them hurting themselves, my partners mom is the same with our daughter.
Our experience wasn't too bad with ss but I dread going back to them too xxx
Thank you for replying. I completely hear you on the fears around them hurting themselves, my partners mom is the same with our daughter.
Our experience wasn't too bad with ss but I dread going back to them too xxx