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Hi,
Hope everyone is doing ok.
I just wondered if there were people on here who are through the other side, as in, gone through court. My OH got a suspended sentence and is on the SOR for 10 years.
I feel like for the past 2 years with the lead up to court I was trying to do everything to help my OH and in auto pilot with work and the children.
The months after court have been some of the hardest for me. I feel so tired, empty and depressed by the reality of what life will be. I thought we might be able to make it work but I just can't get past it all. OH living with his mom and sees our son but I feel resentful towards him putting us in this situation.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
I just wondered if there were people on here who are through the other side, as in, gone through court. My OH got a suspended sentence and is on the SOR for 10 years.
I feel like for the past 2 years with the lead up to court I was trying to do everything to help my OH and in auto pilot with work and the children.
The months after court have been some of the hardest for me. I feel so tired, empty and depressed by the reality of what life will be. I thought we might be able to make it work but I just can't get past it all. OH living with his mom and sees our son but I feel resentful towards him putting us in this situation.
Oh my goodness yes. I'm in a different situation to you as I'm here because of my son who also has a 10 year SHPO. My son moved back home with us on the night of his arrest and we provide the supervised contact for him and his children. Leading up to sentencing I dreamt about how I'd feel when it was all over but the reality was completely different for both me and my son.
We felt completely flat, anxious about the future, full of broken dreams and unable to see a future.
10 months on my son is doing well and I'm learning to live one day at a time. We have established our new way of life and are enjoying making new friends.
We felt completely flat, anxious about the future, full of broken dreams and unable to see a future.
10 months on my son is doing well and I'm learning to live one day at a time. We have established our new way of life and are enjoying making new friends.
Hi,
We are 3 years post sentencing this August and it's only really this year that I'm feeling 'me' again. After sentencing and media exposure died down and fall out with neighbours, I developed a fatalistic attitude. I used to sit and think is this it? I've survived the worst possible trauma of my life and I just felt flat. It was probably PTSD as I'd been through a personal illness and family illness prior to the knock which would have been enough to tip anyone over the edge.
This year I got involved in a work project that has kept me busy travelling around the country and I've also been on a cruise, something I've never done before but thoroughly enjoyed. I've got more holidays planned and I've been busy decorating. It feels like I'm finally me again and it's taken a long time to get to this point.
We are 3 years post sentencing this August and it's only really this year that I'm feeling 'me' again. After sentencing and media exposure died down and fall out with neighbours, I developed a fatalistic attitude. I used to sit and think is this it? I've survived the worst possible trauma of my life and I just felt flat. It was probably PTSD as I'd been through a personal illness and family illness prior to the knock which would have been enough to tip anyone over the edge.
This year I got involved in a work project that has kept me busy travelling around the country and I've also been on a cruise, something I've never done before but thoroughly enjoyed. I've got more holidays planned and I've been busy decorating. It feels like I'm finally me again and it's taken a long time to get to this point.
I too thought once sentencing was over I'd feel better, but if anything I felt worse. So flat, tired and constantly drained and on edge all the time. It's now a year since then and I'm only just starting to have days where I feel OK. Xx
Hi I'm only 2 months post sentencing and I feel worse due to the unexpected jail sentence my ex partner got. I've had to have some counselling as I've finally had to admit to myself I'm struggling with the trauma of it all and kept it bottled up for 2 year throughout the investigation and just tried to get on with things for the kids sake but realised I felt worse after the sentencing due to the shock and realisation of the situation. I'm very early on post sentencing so hoping to start feeling better soon and with the counselling think it may help to talk about it rather than bottle it up and act as if everything is fine. Hugs to you as it's so horrible feeling like that . X
Thanks all for your replies, although Im sad you're in the same situation I do feel less alone and less like I'm going crazy.
They say time is a healer and maybe it is. I think a lot of us just pin our hopes on no jail time being such a positive that we don't think of what's to come after and that's what's been the hardest thing to do.
I throw myself into work and the children to keep busy a lot of the time but then it will hit me like a bus and for a few days I'm floored again. I am now petrified if I see police cars or if anyone bangs the door it makes my blood run cold.
Ive had a better day today so that's the main thing.
Sending love and strength to you all xxx
They say time is a healer and maybe it is. I think a lot of us just pin our hopes on no jail time being such a positive that we don't think of what's to come after and that's what's been the hardest thing to do.
I throw myself into work and the children to keep busy a lot of the time but then it will hit me like a bus and for a few days I'm floored again. I am now petrified if I see police cars or if anyone bangs the door it makes my blood run cold.
Ive had a better day today so that's the main thing.
Sending love and strength to you all xxx
I'm post sentencing. I chose to end my marriage as deep down I thought this will never ever go away if we stay together. I would feel resentful. I would be waiting for it to rear it's head again which I expect it will.
I needed to distance myself and somehow find a new way of living. Financially it will be tough but some days I now have a glimmer of hope that I will be ok.
I needed to distance myself and somehow find a new way of living. Financially it will be tough but some days I now have a glimmer of hope that I will be ok.
Thanks anxious girl.
that's where I think I am heading to. I just can't get over it and things will never be the same. My priority is my children and there's no way I could go through this again.
I am glad you are seeing a glimmer of hope for the future. All the best xxx
that's where I think I am heading to. I just can't get over it and things will never be the same. My priority is my children and there's no way I could go through this again.
I am glad you are seeing a glimmer of hope for the future. All the best xxx