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Fridays check in x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Afternoon lovlies x

I hope you are all doing ok

Nothing much to report on this week form me, work has been busy but enjoyable x

Catching up on the forum posts, again so many new posts, we all remember what it was like when we made our first post , it seems like only recently for me but in reality it's over 4 years ago! And yet we havent seen a decline in new members only an increase, its scary isn't it,

The statistics of men offending is increasing at an astronomical rate, there dosent seem to be a decline.

We have a visit on Sunday morning with HC so looking forward to seeing him , this weeks food has been awful so hopefully they will have lots of crumpets available :-)

Love sent as always xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 2:58pmReport post

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

165 posts

Hi Upset

Hope your visit goes well.

Not much happening here either except busy at work as usual. It was our sports day today and as usual I ended up covering reception. I don't usually have a dinner at work (I usually take sandwiches or a salad in) and I usually work through my lunch anyway on a Friday so I can leave early, but today I was that fed up that I had a dinner (fish, chips and mushy peas). I was going to go to my office to eat but decided to stay in the dining room, was nice to have a break and catch up with colleagues I don't normally talk to.

My youngest daughter had a summer concert at her school last night (the last thing she's done at her school). She was actually singing which surprised me as she says she wants to act but not sing.

Next Thursday my OH has his plea hearing at crown court. Even though I know a bit more of what to expect after being at the magistrates court, I will probably be out of sorts.

Hope everyone is ok.

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:00pmReport post

Ocean13

Member since
April 2024

83 posts

Hi Upsetmum. This week has been really tough. My OH had his first interview on Tuesday and now the case has been sent to cps. He’s been very low and struggling to eat since. He is still maintaining his innocence and it’s so hard not knowing what to believe and watching him and family suffering around me.



The OIC came round to return some of his devices and was very cold and refused to speak to him or his mum any further.



It feels like this whole system is so cruel. I’m feeling a lot of anger and grief of how we’ve been treated and what we stand to lose.

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:20pmReport post

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

130 posts

Hey everyone

Today has been a hard one for me. It was our youngest sons sports day today and although the police say my hubby is allowed to attend school events as long as I'm there, social services decided to over rule it and tell the school my hubby isn't allowed on site so I had to do sports day alone which made me really teary. Our son done well he won his hopping race and made me giggle by falling over multiple times during the sack race, it was very funny. Report was sent to the cps 6 weeks ago and we are still waiting to hear anything so it's been another tough week of waiting in limbo.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend

Xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:29pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Thank you Dawn x

I would definitely join you eating chips & mushy peas but would pass on the fish , never tried fish in my life, but I bet it was nice to catch up.with fellow colleagues x

I cant believe the schools will be closing soon for summer holidays, my boss said to me today it will soon be (dare I say it Xmas soon)

No matter how next week pans out we will be with you by your side holding your hand , we are here if you need us xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:46pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2741 posts

Hi ladies - I too have been affected by some posts this week. I really feel their pain, those months after discovery are the worst. I sometimes think, do I really need to continue with the forum, do I need it - but, when I read these posts and give someone a glimmer of reassurance with a reply. it makes me feel good. I just want to make these lovely ladies feel they are not alone......

As for me a pretty uneventful week, same routine really.

Boy is good and tackling thorny 5ft weeds in the grounds. Good tea tonight with a roast chicken leg which he will enjoy with a pot noodle!

We too spoke about the prison release thing, and he said every day new faces appear. He also said there are many that prefer to remain in prison as they feel there is nothing outside for them, which I found very sad.

anyway love to all - and of course. Come on ENGLAND!!!!! X

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:51pm
Edited Fri July 12, 2024 4:54pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Ocean13

I am so sorry to read your week has been tough, its awful seeing the person you love and care for been reduced to giving up , it is so so important that you take of yourself also

I never knew what my son was doing before the knock, but from that moment on he opened up,

As we know from here some cases go on with no further action, but until you have the evidence you are in limbo, this whole journey is horrendous, the way its dealt with is unbearable, we were told by the OIC it will take about 6 to 9 weeks absolute C..P it was 19 months before sentancing

Focus on the now, and what you can control

You are absolutely not alone so if you need us just reach out x hugs sent xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 4:59pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Aww Bub

I cannot comment on SS but reading on the forum they are a law on to themselves , you would think they would work together!

Having you there was all he needed and so pleased you were able to have a bit of laughter also x

Were you able to record it so you could watch together?xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:04pmReport post

Quietlife

Member since
June 2024

44 posts

Afternoon Ladies,

I feel for each and everyone of you ladies for the struggles that you are and have faced - your support and kind words have really helped me, and you can see from replies how you give others strength to carry on. I think fish chips and mushy peas at the seaside might be on the list for the weekend :)

it is awful to hear the way that some of you have been treated by the OIC, it sounds like our experience is rare.

Sending you all good thoughts for the weekend and I hope you have sometime to do something positive for your own mental health, even if it's a soak in the bath - we spend so much time worrying about others in our families we put ourselves to the bottom of the pile.

xxx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:11pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Smile x

I am the same, I often think do I stop Friday check in , then I realize it's more about giving support to new members, as we have been there and we want to offer help and be there

Glad our boy is back outside apart from the brambles xx

England have done exceptionally well haven't they, I had France in the work sweepstake,

I dread to think how many sickies we have Monday at work!xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:14pmReport post

Bub84

Member since
January 2024

130 posts

Upset mum...

I took a video of every race he was in and sent it to my husband so he was watching it with me just a couple of minutes delay. I tried to involve him the best I could and we messaged the whole way through it like running commentary. Our son was so proud of his 1st place sticker he ran indoors and showed his daddy and they were both really happy and excited. We are lucky that hubby is allowed home everyday just not overnight so my son was able to share his excitement when I bought him back from school xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:18pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Quite x

Enjoy your weekend at the seaside , never look back just look forward to rebuilding

Walks in the sand, water beneath your feet, fish and chips and mushy peas, the wind in your hair, just breathe, and take it all in ,

We are absolutely so so pleased for you both xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:19pmReport post

Quietlife

Member since
June 2024

44 posts

Upset Mum

thank you xxx

Ocean 13

thinking of you both, take things one day at a time. xx

bub84

sounds like you had the best compromise, those moments are so precious as our children grow up way too fast - well done to your little one for 1st place xxx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:22pm
Edited Fri July 12, 2024 5:25pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Bub x

That is so heartwarming, I can just imagine him running in to tell his daddy x

Well done for coming 1st bless him x

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:32pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2741 posts

Now having visions of all us forum ladies running along a sandy beach, giggling as the water laps over our toes and why not loads-a fish'n'chips, mushy peas - followed by doughnuts and ice cream....... then a glass of wine to wash it down..... haha

what a lovely thought.......

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:37pm
Edited Fri July 12, 2024 5:39pmReport post

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

165 posts

Thank you Upset. It's just another thing to get through.

It's scary how quickly time is passing. I break up myself in 2 weeks which will make it easier 'supervising' my OH with my daughter and so he doesn't have to find things to do outside of the house while she is at home.

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 5:59pmReport post

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

165 posts

That is a lovely vision Smile. I'll take the fish, chips and mushy peas, and ice cream,but think I'll pass on the doughnuts and wine x

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:02pmReport post

EBP

Member since
September 2021

231 posts

Smile through tears & others.

I agree that this weekly notice is most necessary to show we are moving forward,even if its in the 'wrong ' direction.

Good to see that some have had NFA & been released. ,although the damage has already been done to family & social relations.

We are slowly getting a handle on the prison system as our son is on remand. What a nightmare communication is. You can't do anything until the prisoner gives you their prisoner,in a phonecall you've been give no warning of. You apply for a visit,but you have to be on their 'list'. You can set up a voicemail & email account once you have a prison number. It's all very confusing but I hope to see him Tuesday. Two weeks after he was arrested from our home!

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:15pmReport post

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

282 posts

Last day at work before my road trip to visit family. It's heck of a drive to do alone - but suppose I should be used to flying solo by now.

Feeling ok just recently. Felt myself looking to the future which isn't something I've done in a long time. Not where I thought I would be but have to make the best of the shitty hand I've been dealt.

Fish and chips sounds so good.

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:27pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Smile x

What a perfect thought xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:43pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

EBP x

Everything is slow lovely x

It will be sorted and you will get to see your son soon, take a day at a time, he is ok, and that's all we can ask for xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:47pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Anxious x

Focus on the adventure, take breaks often and remember this road trip is about you and you alone, xx

And know that at the end of the trip to get there you will be met with nothing other than love and support, and much needed hugs xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 6:54pmReport post

FelicityWish

Member since
January 2024

27 posts

Hope everyone is ok, it has been good to read all your comments about how your weeks have gone and it makes me feel less alone

My week has been ok, I have been struggling with symptoms of anxiety - tight chest, fast heart rate etc but have been trying my best to get it under control. I saw a psychologist arranged by work and the main thing we ended up talking about is how I feel like I'm leading a double life as I'm always trying to put on a brave face at work, on the school run, with friends etc, this situation is such a huge thing to happen but what makes it so hard is having to be so careful who you tell.

although it's been 10 months since the knock, im still struggling to come to terms with it and the way it has totally changed my life course (case hasn't been to crown court yet)

I wish you all a peaceful and happy weekend. I'm taking my boys swimming then to the cinema tomorrow :) xx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 10:29pmReport post

Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

I always read Friday check in but don't always write here. Tonight I have been to see my favourite artist in an open air venue near the seaside. Just for tonight I have pushed aside our situation and danced and sung like I don't have a care in the world. Tomorrow is a new day.



Upset enjoy your visit with your boy at the weekend - and thank you for always being there.

much love and strength to all at different stages of this horrendous journey xxx

Posted Fri July 12, 2024 10:43pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Felicity x

Taking care of yourself is so important and I know Ocean may be able to recommend some things to focus on your anxiety as I know she is on a path of wellbeing and doing really well x

These emotions are unfortunately a normal part of this journey, so we all understand how you are feeling xx

Enjoy swimming and the cinema with your boys xx

Posted Sat July 13, 2024 10:50amReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Elliott x

I am so pleased you set aside this journey and had an amazing time I can just imagine you having so much well deserved you time, hope the head isn't to sore this morning haha x

Posted Sat July 13, 2024 10:53amReport post

FelicityWish

Member since
January 2024

27 posts

Thank you so much :)

I have found switching to decaf coffee works, reading also helps, as well as arranging nice things with family and friends. I do have to take medication at the moment but hopefully this isn't a long term thing x

Posted Sat July 13, 2024 12:27pmReport post

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