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Just found out and don't know what to do

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Taylor71

Member since
July 2024

1 post

I have just found out, I don't know what to do. My brother has been arrested today, and not for the first time. He has managed to keep it secret from his mum and siblings including me until now, as he lives at the other end of the country. His partner called me today and told me everything. She is unable to keep going and has decided to walk away. She says he has no friends left, as he was arrested for the same thing before and so people know about it in the area where he lives. She is worried he might kill himself. I can't tell our mum, it will break her. I'm afraid to tell my partner. As the police will have taken his phone I don't know how to contact him. I just don't know where to start or what to do. Should I talk to my partner about this? I worry that he won't want me to support my brother, but he has nobody else.

Posted Tue July 16, 2024 4:21pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

983 posts

Hi Taylor, I'm sorry you find yourself in this difficult place. Is it possible for you to contact your brothers partner to find out how you could contact him. It might be that he has been able to get himself a basic phone to use whilst his other has been confiscated.

I can't tell you whether to tell your partner or not but what I can say is supporting someone through this journey is incredibly hard so you might want to think about telling someone so that they can support you whilst you support.

If you do decide to support your brother you will find lots of support and help on this forum so do keep reaching out to us as we're all here to help you.

Posted Tue July 16, 2024 7:24pm
Edited Tue July 16, 2024 8:59pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2752 posts

As Ocean said supporting someone can be incredibly hard and challenging.

All I can add is follow your heart and do whatever gives you peace at the end of the day.

we are here to help as much as we can x

Posted Tue July 16, 2024 8:26pmReport post

FelicityWish

Member since
January 2024

27 posts

I'm sorry you find yourself here.
From personal experience, I would recommend telling your partner as they will sense something isn't right and it could cause tension or issues between you guys, which isn't fair. It's also something incredibly stressful to deal with alone and you will need some support. Sorry this has happened, sending you love and strength xxx

Posted Tue July 16, 2024 9:43pmReport post

EBP

Member since
September 2021

231 posts

Reach out,reach out.

The people on the helpline & other forum members will guide you through this. You cannot do this alone.
I hope you can speak to your partner & he will support you.

I'm afraid little words of comfort. This is the biggest shock to crash into our lives. But we do recover.

Best wishes

Posted Tue July 16, 2024 11:15pmReport post

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