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When u thought u knew the truth

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Bellagenie22

Member since
June 2024

22 posts

Just spoken to the police...my OH as 2 charges one for talking sexually to a minor and the other was incent to a female child) so asking her to touch herself. Am I wrong to still stand beside him? I'm a mess I don't know what to do

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 10:36amReport post

K4

Member since
October 2022

623 posts

It is absolutely your choice whether you stand beside your person. You know the context of their offending and the person they are beside this.



there is no right or wrong answer



x

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 1:01pmReport post

Bellagenie22

Member since
June 2024

22 posts

So many thoughts are going through my head. Just hope we find out more when we've been to court. For my sake and for his

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 2:18pmReport post

Sad&Scared

Member since
January 2024

172 posts

How does it align with what he's told you himself?

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 5:13pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2741 posts

Hi - you will learn very quickly this journey is not 'black & white' there's many grey areas with no direct answers.

ive said it so many times, go along with your gut feelings and go with whatever puts your mind at peace, even if others disagree. Your life your relationship.

ive been through hell to have some sort of relationship with my son in prison and I don't regret it for one second.

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 5:42pmReport post

K4

Member since
October 2022

623 posts

You might want to ask him for full disclosure; the charges should detail all the evidence that will be disclosed in court.



There shouldn't be any surprises in court as the prosecution should give all the evidence to the defence



it wasn't pleasant reading all the evidence but it did align with what he'd told me and helped me to trust him again



Good luck and thinking of you



Xxx

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 7:55pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

965 posts

I agree with Smile, in that most cases are not black and white. The reasons why our people do what they do are complicated and deep. Only you can decide whether you stay or leave but you might want to take in to account whether your person is showing remorse, whether there is a willingness to engage in a programme of self help, a willingness to work in identifying why he offended in the first place and what he is doing to ensure it won't happen again.

Posted Thu July 18, 2024 8:50pmReport post

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

803 posts

Only you can answer that. I believed my ex husband would never put us through this again. I really really believed that. However, I'm waiting for the CPS to process his second case so he'll be heading back to prison. I think I was incredibly naive. I now know that he will always prioritise "it" over myself and his children. I knew very early on though that I couldn't share a bed with someone who had deliberately sought out those images and put us through hell. And trust and respect that was there in our 30 year relationship was gone. X

Posted Tue July 23, 2024 3:33pmReport post

Bellagenie22

Member since
June 2024

22 posts

I think he personally went looking to talk to someone. That someone was 21 and then mid way in the convo the age turned to 12. But the conversation continued. I don't think he intentionally went out to look for a child if u get me. I'm just take it day by day. C what happens in court on Thursday and work from their.

thank everyone x

Posted Tue July 23, 2024 7:51pmReport post

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

282 posts

Only you know whether or not to believe him.

My head goes down the road of he wanted to talk to someone - about what? If they had been over aged would it have continued.

But that is probably me - a bit bitter and cynical. And single!

I would have loved the decision to have been made for me as it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. Life does go on.

Posted Thu July 25, 2024 9:06amReport post

Sad&Scared

Member since
January 2024

172 posts

My understanding is you shouldn't have to wait till court? His solicitor should see everything significant prior to the trial?

Posted Thu July 25, 2024 1:51pmReport post

Quick exit