Family and Friends Forum

Mixed Emotions

Notifications OFF

Tryingtobebrave

Member since
July 2024

32 posts

This is my first time posting although I read the forum daily.
Got the knock and I immediately moved out of our home address and took the children with me. (Think in part because the police said we can't stay in same house together so quickly formed a plan) Ex can have supervised contact only.

Feel guilty that I am surviving and still get to do everything I did before whereas my Ex can't and is on his own as no family apart from me. I feel I need to make sure I organise time each week for him to see the children as I feel so guilty if I don't and he doesn't get to see them.

This weekend has been a good one yet I feel down today, I don't know if it's because it's the start of the summer holidays and usually we would have days out planned and holidays where as this year we still have days out planned but without their dad. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he was no longer in our lives but even that makes me feel guilty as he doesn't have anyone else.


I don't have any questions that I want answering, think I just wanted to share my thoughts with people who know what it is like x

Posted Mon July 22, 2024 8:18amReport post

tryingtogetitright2024

Member since
July 2024

40 posts

Im so sorry that you find yourself in such an awful situation. This is the worst club in the world to be in, a club no one of us asked to be in.

My person is my ex and was my ex when this happened so I didn't have the added stress of having to move like you have.

But I understand what your saying about summer holidays. I too feel really flat today. I feel this whole thing has taken the shine of most things that I do now. I try to enjoy but always in my head I have the same conversation with myself and re-live the situation.

It's so hard, just know you are not alone. Everyone here feels the same. Do small things for yourself and take care of yourself. What your going through is exhausting.

Sending love and strength to you x

Posted Mon July 22, 2024 9:04amReport post

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

293 posts

I ended my marriage just before my person was jailed. I felt sorry for him on his release as I was the only person he had to talk to etc.

A few months down the line I don't feel so strongly that way as he seems to be getting in ok given the circumstances - to me anyway.

I ended my marriage as I couldn't deal with the lies etc and realised I had to put myself first. It's not easy but I do have a fabulous support network of friends and I'm able to keep myself busy.

Sending hugs.

Posted Mon July 22, 2024 5:27pmReport post

Tryingtobebrave

Member since
July 2024

32 posts

Thank you for your responses x

Posted Thu August 1, 2024 10:09pmReport post

Sad&Scared

Member since
January 2024

187 posts

One thing i would say is please don't feel guilty. HE landed you and your children in this, the life he now leads is the unsurprising outcome of the choices HE made. Anything you do for him is an act of grace.

Posted Fri August 2, 2024 9:18amReport post

Tryingtobebrave

Member since
July 2024

32 posts

Sad & Scared I know what you are saying it's just I'm finding that hard to not feel guilty for how much his life has been ruined even though I know I shouldn't because it was his actions that did it. Hoping with time I'll feel less like that x

Posted Fri August 2, 2024 8:18pmReport post

Quick exit