Am I on my own?
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There are some estimates that around 25% of the people arrested could be correctly described as the P word. It's not a word that people on here like to use, because it has been twisted and misused so often by the media.
The other 75% can be better described as porn addicts, but there is probably a degree of crossover between the two as well.
Another issue that arises is whether or not a person who is a child themselves can be diagnosed officially as being a P.
According to the official definition, published by the American Pyschiatric Association, a person must be at least 16 years old, and at least five years older than the prepubescent child or children they are aroused by, for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilic disorder. It also excludes sexual behavior among post-pubertal children who are close in age.
I do think the whole media paranoia about this is causing many young people to wrongly self diagnose themselves. It's the kind of thing that is best discussed with a trained therapist, so maybe contact StopSO and ask them for help.
The other 75% can be better described as porn addicts, but there is probably a degree of crossover between the two as well.
Another issue that arises is whether or not a person who is a child themselves can be diagnosed officially as being a P.
According to the official definition, published by the American Pyschiatric Association, a person must be at least 16 years old, and at least five years older than the prepubescent child or children they are aroused by, for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilic disorder. It also excludes sexual behavior among post-pubertal children who are close in age.
I do think the whole media paranoia about this is causing many young people to wrongly self diagnose themselves. It's the kind of thing that is best discussed with a trained therapist, so maybe contact StopSO and ask them for help.
Thank you so much for your reply, that makes a lot of sense. My son has a StopSO therapist, he is due his 3rd session today. I'm hoping as he is young it will really help him. Thank you again x
I'm in the waiting on forensics stage, but I accept that my husband (as he still legally is) may turn out to be have those inclinations. He claims they'll find one small file of instantly deleted images, which he received unsolicited while in the grip of a wider porn addiction. But I very much accept he could turn out to be lying, and to have just hide his inclinations completely in 'offline' life. Its a very hard thing to come to terms with (for me it would mean divorce and restricted / heavily supervised access to his own children, and the latter only if he's seeking help). I accept the 'porn addiction escalating' thing happens, but I also think some people will turn to that explanation because its much much less painful than admitting the truth to yourself and others.
For whar its worth, I've always thought (even before this) that the P word really only works for people with an interest in pre-pubescent children. I'm 100% supportive of the current age of consent and I'm glad our culture tries to protect teens in the way it does, but while taking a sustained sexual interest in say 15 year olds is illegal and immoral, I'm not convinced its best understood as paedophilia and bundled in with younger ages. For most of history it would have been (depressingly) perfectly 'normal' amd accepted.
For whar its worth, I've always thought (even before this) that the P word really only works for people with an interest in pre-pubescent children. I'm 100% supportive of the current age of consent and I'm glad our culture tries to protect teens in the way it does, but while taking a sustained sexual interest in say 15 year olds is illegal and immoral, I'm not convinced its best understood as paedophilia and bundled in with younger ages. For most of history it would have been (depressingly) perfectly 'normal' amd accepted.
I agree with all those comments. I was just surprised that there aren't more people who are/may be that way. It just seems everyone is porn addiction. So felt a bit on my own as if my son is the only one. I don't think he is as he is still young himself and mainly likes boys a couple years younger, but also like boys and girls his own age. Seems he is very confused?!
Crushed, I am so sorry for what you are going through. At less than 16, I don't think your son should get a diagnosis.
With respect to the other part of the question, I suspect that there are many many men that meet the criteria but because of the shame, and public misconceptions about pedophilia, most people would rather not admit that it is true. In my opinion, if you sexualize children, you meet the criteria for pedophilic interests. It doesn't matter if the person has realized since puberty or they opened a door during an escalating porn addiction. It also doesn't matter if you are also attracted to adults. That's called non exclusive pedophilia and is more of a spectrum. It can also be 100% voyeuristic / online, with never any thoughts or urges to act in person. Also, just as those interests are reinforced through viewing online, they can be reduced and often extinguished with the right treatment. I also think if you can't admit that you sexualized children, then your not dealing with the whole problem, and that doesn't work as well for rehabilitation efforts.
For the people who will comment that their person didn't ask for pictures, or was looking at older teenagers, then obviously this doesn't apply to you. Within this forum there are all sorts of offenders and I cringe when I see people say things like "at least my person didn't do this or that". Because somebody's person on here probably did.
If your son has sexual interests in children, it is not hopeless. Get him a good therapist with experience in this areas. He is fully capable of having a full life free from ongoing illegal activity. Take care!
With respect to the other part of the question, I suspect that there are many many men that meet the criteria but because of the shame, and public misconceptions about pedophilia, most people would rather not admit that it is true. In my opinion, if you sexualize children, you meet the criteria for pedophilic interests. It doesn't matter if the person has realized since puberty or they opened a door during an escalating porn addiction. It also doesn't matter if you are also attracted to adults. That's called non exclusive pedophilia and is more of a spectrum. It can also be 100% voyeuristic / online, with never any thoughts or urges to act in person. Also, just as those interests are reinforced through viewing online, they can be reduced and often extinguished with the right treatment. I also think if you can't admit that you sexualized children, then your not dealing with the whole problem, and that doesn't work as well for rehabilitation efforts.
For the people who will comment that their person didn't ask for pictures, or was looking at older teenagers, then obviously this doesn't apply to you. Within this forum there are all sorts of offenders and I cringe when I see people say things like "at least my person didn't do this or that". Because somebody's person on here probably did.
If your son has sexual interests in children, it is not hopeless. Get him a good therapist with experience in this areas. He is fully capable of having a full life free from ongoing illegal activity. Take care!
How I agree with your post PriarieMom. - and what makes you cringe - effects me and makes me cringe....,. Especially as the main aim of this forum is to be non judgmental towards any contributors.
I think we need to be careful with the definition of children, when talking about these issues. Legally a child is anyone under 18. So a sexual interest in children means being attracted to a 17 year old.
There will be lots of young people who have a sexual interest in children, possibly because they are children themselves. Equally, an adult aged 18 or 19 could be attracted to 16 or 17 year olds.
That's why the definition of a disorder, which I mentioned above, includes a five year age gap.
There will be lots of young people who have a sexual interest in children, possibly because they are children themselves. Equally, an adult aged 18 or 19 could be attracted to 16 or 17 year olds.
That's why the definition of a disorder, which I mentioned above, includes a five year age gap.
Crushed, I've just logged in for the first time in a little while and seen your message. I've replied xxx