Family and Friends Forum

Hi, I feel like this, some days I'm fine then some days I just feel so mad about what he did, he is in prison now and it's like I've been given a sentence also for past two year I've had to juggle everything gone from a happy family to a single parent literally overnight when I had the knock. I just feel why did you do it and all he can say is I don't know and I can't remember as he blamed his drinking while working away for why he did what he did. I get weeks I'm fine and then some days it just hits like a ton of bricks and I feel so angry with what he did it's like me and the kids have been robbed of the person we thought he was and all the good memories we could of made as I decided to leave when I got the knock. Hugs to you as it's so difficult the situation we are put in. X

It's so hard as the anger just turns up suddenly and then the next day I can feel fine about things, didn't realise how strong I was until all this but learnt my anger is still an issue stopping me from moving forward with my life , I've come to the realisation that it may take time for them feelings of anger to go I've been having some counselling and that has helped a bit to try and control my anger and anxiety when it comes over me. Someone once said anger just eats you up inside and does you no good but it's so hard to let that anger go when you have been so let down by the person you loved and trusted. X

I'm sorry you're having a bad day and never apologise for having a rant. If you work for the NHS you should be able to be fast tracked through the Talking Therapies service. You can self refer to the service and tell them you work for the NHS. I hope that helps.

Ladies,

I can fully understand how you feel, I have had a day of why, why, why and it's just built up inside, I feel so angry, disappointed, let down by the person I trusted the most and I don't know how to get past that at the moment.

even though my OH had had his answer from CPs and police- it's like I keep reliving that morning opening the door and being thrust in this great big dark pit - I didn't ask for this , it wasn't me so why do I feel so bad!!!

I hope you all settle down, snd start feeling a bit more in control.

best wishes to you all

xx

Oh god the rage. I can be quite calm, supportive and 'in the moment' for a while - sometimes a day, or longer - then the rage floors me.


I cannot comprehend the choices he made. I know he's working hard to get well and be better, but when he declares bluntly to the children 'we can't have [ treat ] or do [ activity ] because I'm not being paid at the moment' I just see red.

I hate the power his choices have, to destroy everything I've worked so hard for. Being down to one salary does make it much harder to afford treats, but I hate to hear HIM being the one wielding the axe on my children's wishes. It's further wielding of a power he doesn't deserve.

I was like this it's easy to say but it does get easier and it then seems a distant memory of how you got through it all. I hated my oh for everything happening I also had to deal with schools, ss, being technically a single mom, night feeds, night terrors, poorly children the lot. I think I actually resented my oh more for me having to deal with everything than why they was there at one point. Sentencing happened, ss closed the case after two years his allowed home and unsupervised and everything seems like it never happened. I know it's not much use to you at the moment but try and push through as best as you can because it honestly does get better.

My doctor referred me to healthy minds, I never used it in the end so I'm not sure how good they are but worth a try, also use the helpline they understand the best out of anyone

Hi, I know how you feel. I tried and tried to get support but to no avail. Even support groups on FB for families of offenders don't want to know you if it's a sexual crime. It feels so so unfair. My ex was marched off on the morning of the knock and didn't come back. He was remanded and then sentenced to three years, first offence. I was left reeling. I had to deal with the Police, the fact that they took all our electronics that we never got back, SS's, the school, the media, friends, the kids friends, his family, threatened with eviction and the benefits system. I LOATHED him for leaving me to navigate the benefits system. It's made me so very ill. My first knock was 7 years ago and I couldn't find any support whatsoever. The only person I had was someone from a local prisoners family support charity and even she was judgemental! There's a hierarchy of crimes! I felt so angry that although he'd lost his freedom, he just had to sit there doing nothing! He didn't have to listen his 12 year old son crying for him night in night out. Ugh, yeah, I know how you feel. Much love to you. Xx