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Refusing to contact us...

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Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

Anyone else had experience of their person not having any contact with them?

We know nothing as police say it's up to son to tell us, but we've had no contact from him, we don't even know where he is.

I'm worried that he thinks we do know and it's us refusing to get in touch and that with not having a phone, he won't know our numbers (all my children have trouble remembering phone numbers)

DH says that he's choosing not to contact as he could ask for our phone numbers?

Posted Mon August 5, 2024 11:57amReport post

Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

Just us then ????

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 6:15pmReport post

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

553 posts

I'm so sorry about this and can totally empathise with you and how worried you must be about your boy. Without knowing him it's hard to guess why he might have gone AWOL but my immediate thoughts are him feeling ashamed, not knowing what to say to you, deciding he needs to handle this himself, fear of you finding out things he'd rather you didn't know..... does he have any friends you could approach to see if they know where he is? Or just to assure you he's OK if nothing else? Sorry not to be more helpful - I get the police needing to keep things confidential but at the very least they could ask your son to contact you as they must have an address for him. Could you ask them to do that?

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 7:10pmReport post

Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

He's on remand, I know that much, I just don't know where...

And if we hadn't gone to report him as a missing person, we wouldn't have known that much until it was reported in the local paper...

And we e asked the police for information several times and they refuse

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 7:18pm
Edited Tue August 6, 2024 7:20pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Devastated

I can only imagine how worried you are

If your son is held on remand it would likely be a prison not far from where you live, unless he lived in a different area prior to been arrested

Are you able to find out who the duty solicitors are at the police station, if he is over the age of 18 the police will not disclose any information

It's so hard isn't it all you want to know is he is ok x

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 7:36pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

985 posts

Oh my goodness that must be such a worry for you. I don't really have an answer but wondered if you could email the Governor at prisons local to where he lives and ask him/her to pass on your number.

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 8:10pmReport post

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

441 posts

I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. I am wondering if the Prison Refrom Trust Charity would be able to offer you any advice or help, to try and locate your son. Their link is https://prisonreformtrust.org.uk/about/

This charity also offers help if you are worried about someone's wellbeing whilst they are in prison.

I hope this information may help you in someway.

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 8:49pmReport post

West

Member since
July 2024

25 posts

This sounds horrible. Before my person was charged, I was told which prison he would likely go to from our area so you should be able to find that out through local police or solicitors.
The issue will be getting any info from the prison without his prison number, which apparently they can't give out because of data protection (I had that response when he first went and I was trying to get in touch with him).
I wonder if you can find out which prison is is likely at whether between us here we could track him down through our people.
I remember the feeling of not knowing what was going on so I feel for you so much.

Posted Tue August 6, 2024 9:59pmReport post

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts


Posted Wed August 7, 2024 6:39pmReport post

Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

Thank you Life...

Posted Thu August 8, 2024 3:45pmReport post

Sad_and_scared

Member since
December 2022

44 posts

If you can find the prison, you may be able to ask the chaplain to pass on a message, to say you want to hear from him - your son may not want to talk to you I'm afraid, but if he is so ashamed he doesn't feel he can talk to you, it might be a way to get across you still want to talk.

Posted Thu August 8, 2024 4:11pmReport post

Quick exit