Will this affect my children
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I'm only 2 weeks in to this nighmare but I'm jsut concerned if this will effect my children. I already know it will effect my step son as we might loose custody over him. But I'm concerned that this will effect his friends he makes and his school he's moving into primary soon and I'm concerned once my partner is convicted that people in his school will know and it will effect my son. Not invite him to party's not want to come round to his party I understand people will be wary round my partner but I'm concerned this will effect my children and wether they have friends or not. Has anyone been through this with young children and have any advice or experience wether this effects them
Sorry you're joining us on the forum
It depends whether your person has access or lives with your child; if so you will likely have to be visited/assessed by social services and school may be informed. They may want to put a plan in place to ensure adequate safeguarding is in place to protect your child from the person who has been accused of offending, possibly put restrictions in place and possibly inform others such as school and your GP/ health visitor. However the only other people who will know are those who need to or you choose to tell. It's only if your person is charged or sentenced when their name and details are likely to be released in the press....that's when it's likely people will find out. The fallout from this varies depending on what information is released, how well known your person is in the community or their footprint on the internet/social media, how common your surname is, how old your kids are and if you choose to tell people in your own words before they find out via other means. Just remember once you tell people you can't in-tell them and you have no control over their reaction or who they then also tell.
It depends whether your person has access or lives with your child; if so you will likely have to be visited/assessed by social services and school may be informed. They may want to put a plan in place to ensure adequate safeguarding is in place to protect your child from the person who has been accused of offending, possibly put restrictions in place and possibly inform others such as school and your GP/ health visitor. However the only other people who will know are those who need to or you choose to tell. It's only if your person is charged or sentenced when their name and details are likely to be released in the press....that's when it's likely people will find out. The fallout from this varies depending on what information is released, how well known your person is in the community or their footprint on the internet/social media, how common your surname is, how old your kids are and if you choose to tell people in your own words before they find out via other means. Just remember once you tell people you can't in-tell them and you have no control over their reaction or who they then also tell.
Hi, I couldn't read and run.
I have a child but not stayed in a relationship with the person accused but they have regular contact. We have yet to go to court but I do have the same long term worries! I am hoping it will avoid the media or people have short memories once the novelty of gossip has worn off.
I don't have an ansrew but what I am doing is trying my best to get son through this stage, giving him as much information as appropriate for his age, working closely with school and he now sees a regular therapist at school.
He has had ups and downs and every emotion going, and I imagine more to come as we go through the system and big holidays/key dates.
But this forum is great for knowing you're not alone (but also alot of information can be overwhelming). It's so much so a waiting game and no one can give us a clear answer as everyone's case seems so different. Try focus on one stage/day at a time. Happy to chat parenting through his awful time, if you want to message.
I have a child but not stayed in a relationship with the person accused but they have regular contact. We have yet to go to court but I do have the same long term worries! I am hoping it will avoid the media or people have short memories once the novelty of gossip has worn off.
I don't have an ansrew but what I am doing is trying my best to get son through this stage, giving him as much information as appropriate for his age, working closely with school and he now sees a regular therapist at school.
He has had ups and downs and every emotion going, and I imagine more to come as we go through the system and big holidays/key dates.
But this forum is great for knowing you're not alone (but also alot of information can be overwhelming). It's so much so a waiting game and no one can give us a clear answer as everyone's case seems so different. Try focus on one stage/day at a time. Happy to chat parenting through his awful time, if you want to message.
Hi all it's my first post I saw this and had to reply, such an awful journey and never gets any easier! Abit about my story knock in 2021 arrested early hours of the morning house raided all electrical devices taken my children 5 and 7 at the time shaken up by this! Released that evening under investigation, little did I know this investigation would take sooooo long! He had supervised contact with our children at his mum where he was now living and had ss meetings every 2 weeks for a while until case closed.
June 2021 until April 2023 under investigation
April Court date first hearing pleaded guilty second hearing Crown Court sent to prison 2yrs 8 months! Both Court dates went on social media both a week after, first a write up with name and address and offence second time his picture! I was modified my poor children!
I got on and told close friends and other family and some close school mum friends as there was no hiding it no more. Awful!
I got on a changed my boys names into my maiden name to protect them so nothing comes back on them later in life and iv explained age appropriately what there dad has done so they are slightly aware as I want this to grow with them and them be able to talk to me about anything along the way.
August 2024 there dad has done his half sentence and now realised my children have had no contact his whole prison sentence due to the rules and iv kept it this way for now, who knows how ill feel in a year or 2s time but for now they are settled with the new norm and I feel this is best for us. This whole situation from start and ongoing is completely traumatising such an awful life changing thing it really is.
Sending my love to everyone xx
June 2021 until April 2023 under investigation
April Court date first hearing pleaded guilty second hearing Crown Court sent to prison 2yrs 8 months! Both Court dates went on social media both a week after, first a write up with name and address and offence second time his picture! I was modified my poor children!
I got on and told close friends and other family and some close school mum friends as there was no hiding it no more. Awful!
I got on a changed my boys names into my maiden name to protect them so nothing comes back on them later in life and iv explained age appropriately what there dad has done so they are slightly aware as I want this to grow with them and them be able to talk to me about anything along the way.
August 2024 there dad has done his half sentence and now realised my children have had no contact his whole prison sentence due to the rules and iv kept it this way for now, who knows how ill feel in a year or 2s time but for now they are settled with the new norm and I feel this is best for us. This whole situation from start and ongoing is completely traumatising such an awful life changing thing it really is.
Sending my love to everyone xx