Family and Friends Forum

It really is a worry. We are still at the investigation stage but I also fear the worse outcome. From what I've read it is very much luck of the draw. My best friends brother is a police officer and even he has said it can even come down to the mood of the judge on the day which doesn't seem right but it happens.

Hi Lisa, I completely understand your need for information but think there are so many variables to each case that it makes predicting an outcome near on impossible. For example, the age of the child and the victim impact are taken into consideration but you may not know the degree of harm until sentencing.

My son was told to prepare for custodial as it was a real possibility. He went to court with his prison bag packed, and was very fortunate to receive a 2 year suspended sentence which I believe was down to the fact there was no victim impact statement, the overcrowding of the prisons, his pre sentence report, the fact he had fully admitted his guilt during his arrest, the fact he had completed the LFF course and modules and down to the judge he had on the day.

Hi, my ex partner first offence got 28 month custodial sentence, under 20 images viewed and distributed in chats online . He also communicated with a 14 year old in sexual chat. It was unexpected the sentence as all the way through the officer in charge and solicitor thought he would get suspended sentence but the judge was harsh I feel. I've known peoples charges being worse in the group and they got suspended sentences so you just never know on the day what the judge will decide. I wish you well and hope for the best possible outcome. X

I decided to leave when I got the knock, I couldn't trust him and lost all respect for him for what he had done and what he had put us through. I think it's hard not to worry about the outcome of sentencing I worried for nearly 2 year being in limbo as to what would happen. It's been so hard as I am now a single parent having to financially support myself and my children we used to be such a happy family until the knock, but I try my best to move forward now with my life and try and accept u can't turn back the clocks on what has been done. Sending strength to you through this journey no one wants to be on. X

Ginluver

That must have been so hard. Thank you for sharing. Can I ask whether you have any help/support or advice on how to help the children/what to tell them? That is my biggest worry. My child has a very close bond with their father, until the knock (especially with Covid etc) they never went a day without spending time together. I'm very worried about the effect on them. It's going to absolutely destroy them, and like everything else the job of breaking the bad news and handing all the fall out is going to be down to me......equally I don't want to worry them about something that might not happen. I want to save them from any unnecessary hurt or trauma if I can avoid it and "daddy might have to go to jail" is certainly going to do that.

Hi holding the grenade, I didn't tell mine daddy could go to prison but I then told them when he did as felt I had too as I couldn't lie why he had suddenly vanished and couldn't see them anymore, they have only just recently started having phone contact with dad after 4 months of him being sent to prison due to assessment by social services and prison service having to be done been very difficult them keep asking when they can speak to dad. When he was arrested they were told dad had done something wrong and had broke internet safety rules they were upset when we were no longer living together but they adapted to just seeing him on a Sunday at there grandparents house. Sometimes I feel why has this happened to us and feel really mad but trying not to let the anger ruin my life and just get on with mine and the kids life as best as I can and I am now used to being on my own this is my new normal that I am a single parent now. Sending strength through this extremely difficult time. X

@LittleRobin3

It seems a bit harsh for only possession / making charge to get 3 years. Can I ask if there were any distribution / communication charges?

From the research I've done, I've not seen a case where one gets a straight custodial for a first offence of possession. Was it a guilty plea?

It's true that a suspended sentence or community order is more likely for a first offence, but that's not a guarantee that a custodial won't happen.

Some judges want to make examples of our people and are incredibly harsh.