It’s over
Notifications OFF
Seems my partner was telling the truth. No further action from the police. Not even a second interview. 11 months of utter sh** from social services. 11 months of my partner not being alone with the children. 11 months of people not believing him and judging me. And now it is over. Feel strangely angry rather than relieved.
Im so pleased that your case has had this outcome. I cannot imagine going through all of the emotions and thoughts whenbthe person is innocent. I hope that you can put this behind you and mobe forward now. Good luck xx
So pleased for you. Hope you can now start to move on with the rest of your life and put the past 11 months behind you.
So happy for you, Big Sigh. But I understand how you must feel with social services and the police putting you and your family through such torture for so long. There must be a better way of dealing with this area of the law. There are so many innocent victims of the process (family members etc) and everything takes so long to get sorted. Hoping you have a happy, bright future with your family.
Hi,
That is great news for you all and am glad it's all over for you all. I am sure it'll take some time to get over it all but at least you can do it together.
xxx
That is great news for you all and am glad it's all over for you all. I am sure it'll take some time to get over it all but at least you can do it together.
xxx
Hey big sigh,
I'm really pleased for you and I'm also really pleased that we are seeing more and more people get NFA for single stupid mistakes etc
I can only.hope for same outcome
Ttkit
I'm really pleased for you and I'm also really pleased that we are seeing more and more people get NFA for single stupid mistakes etc
I can only.hope for same outcome
Ttkit
Hey Big Sigh,
I cant find your original posts but can you remind me what the other half was arrested for?
Ttkit
I cant find your original posts but can you remind me what the other half was arrested for?
Ttkit
So pleased for you Bigsigh.
I know it's been 11 months of rubbish but at least you can hold your head up high knowing he told you the truth. Hope you can start to rebuild now xx
I know it's been 11 months of rubbish but at least you can hold your head up high knowing he told you the truth. Hope you can start to rebuild now xx
Hi ttkit
he was accused of downloading 5 cat c images. The search warrant said something about "an" image, implying only one, however in the report they wrote to SS they said he had downloaded 5 cat c images of children aged 13-15. They stated it as fact and all the statutory agencies took it as fact when it was only an allegation. My husband always denied looking at anything illegal and said he just visited a well known porn website which only has adults on there.
the response from SS was horrific. I can't go into details but some of the SWs were dangerous in their practice. I understand they have a job to do, but it doesn't give them the excuse to do it badly and make assertions outside of their professional training.
I am angry rather than relieved. The police wrote a strategy report to SS which took bits and pieces of what my husband said at interview and then framed those sentences in the worst possible light. They even said because he had a particular piece of software (not an unusual one) that it was what paedophiles sometimes use - it was like saying he had the internet and paedophiles use the internet. This report sent SS into a high level of hysteria and if I hadn't got a solicitor and we also got a risk assessment done by a therapist then I am sure they would have tried to make him leave the house.
he was accused of downloading 5 cat c images. The search warrant said something about "an" image, implying only one, however in the report they wrote to SS they said he had downloaded 5 cat c images of children aged 13-15. They stated it as fact and all the statutory agencies took it as fact when it was only an allegation. My husband always denied looking at anything illegal and said he just visited a well known porn website which only has adults on there.
the response from SS was horrific. I can't go into details but some of the SWs were dangerous in their practice. I understand they have a job to do, but it doesn't give them the excuse to do it badly and make assertions outside of their professional training.
I am angry rather than relieved. The police wrote a strategy report to SS which took bits and pieces of what my husband said at interview and then framed those sentences in the worst possible light. They even said because he had a particular piece of software (not an unusual one) that it was what paedophiles sometimes use - it was like saying he had the internet and paedophiles use the internet. This report sent SS into a high level of hysteria and if I hadn't got a solicitor and we also got a risk assessment done by a therapist then I am sure they would have tried to make him leave the house.
It’s weird - I can’t tell anyone that it is over as most people didn’t know what was going on in the first place.
Hi big sigh
over the moon for you that it's NFA but can totally get why you feel as you do. I don't think they (being the police and Ss) realise how they just come and completely upturn family life and the power they hold. I really do hope you can put it all behind you now and one day it will just be a horrid distant memory. Will SS just drop the case now? Interested to know how the police handle a NFA phone call, i don't suppose there's an apology for the absolute trauma they've put you through for 11 months? I completely get the safeguarding procedures but how do they get it so wrong! It's scary really! I'm assuming they didn't find anything on devices or did they try a caution first?
over the moon for you that it's NFA but can totally get why you feel as you do. I don't think they (being the police and Ss) realise how they just come and completely upturn family life and the power they hold. I really do hope you can put it all behind you now and one day it will just be a horrid distant memory. Will SS just drop the case now? Interested to know how the police handle a NFA phone call, i don't suppose there's an apology for the absolute trauma they've put you through for 11 months? I completely get the safeguarding procedures but how do they get it so wrong! It's scary really! I'm assuming they didn't find anything on devices or did they try a caution first?
Hi
they just left a message on his voicemail! He didn’t even get to talk to them. They said they would send a letter and told him to pick up his devices. So he did. We now have a houseful of computers and phones as we had replaced everything!
No second interview,no offer of caution. Just sweet FA. They had got their information from a “third party” so basically I don’t think the police had even seen the alleged images. Yet they presented the downloading of the images as “fact” to SS who then repeatedly wrote in their reports as if it was fact. My partner couldn’t defend himself as his solicitor told him to say nothing to anybody. And my kids ended up,on a CP plan seeing a SW every 10 days for 11 months.
I have contacted SS and told them my contact arrangements have now changed. They have accepted this. There is one more meeting to officially “end” everything with SS. My partner won’t go because he doesn’t want to be in the same room with these people after what they said about him.
they just left a message on his voicemail! He didn’t even get to talk to them. They said they would send a letter and told him to pick up his devices. So he did. We now have a houseful of computers and phones as we had replaced everything!
No second interview,no offer of caution. Just sweet FA. They had got their information from a “third party” so basically I don’t think the police had even seen the alleged images. Yet they presented the downloading of the images as “fact” to SS who then repeatedly wrote in their reports as if it was fact. My partner couldn’t defend himself as his solicitor told him to say nothing to anybody. And my kids ended up,on a CP plan seeing a SW every 10 days for 11 months.
I have contacted SS and told them my contact arrangements have now changed. They have accepted this. There is one more meeting to officially “end” everything with SS. My partner won’t go because he doesn’t want to be in the same room with these people after what they said about him.
They left a voice message!!! Gosh I am fuming for you! Though tbh that just about sums them up, I only said this week that if I wasn't in the middle of all this then how the police and Ss have gone about it all is so absurd it's almost laughable! I wondered if SS would still say they see a 'risk' or not, which would be madness with no evidence. Hope your last meeting is soon and you can put it all behind you. I can indersrss as nd your husband not wanting to go, though if I were him think I'd need to go to see their faces and if there was any apologies/different attitudes. I know they're just doing a job but there's surely a better way to go about it all. All the best for your future big sigh, I am praying for the same outcome.
So glad things have turned out this way but you sound like you have been to hell multiple times over. I don't know what else to say, I'm sure there is still a sense of shock and confusion and a bad taste in your mouth from everything. Innocent till proven guilty? It sounds like a load of rubbish I bet. Xx
Hi so confused
no suggestion from SS he is a risk, so all back to “normal”.
thanks Bubble x
no suggestion from SS he is a risk, so all back to “normal”.
thanks Bubble x
I'm pleased that this is over for you Big Sigh. You can piece your lives back together now ????
Thanks Sallyblue
yes we can. It feels weird as I am still coming on this forum but don’t really need to in the same way as before. I just want to be able to support people who come on here and let them know that not everyone judges men as evil who view images/ get caught by police or hunters. At the time of the knock it is the worst feeling in the world and it was only by reading the stories of other women (and the occasional man) that I knew I could get through it as they had too. And then having endured the horror show that is SS I realised that if I didn’t have the work background I do plus the finances I wouldn’t have been able to deal with SS in the way I did. And I want to be able to support other women who are having troubles with SS and share that experience.
one person in particular on this forum, who I am now in personal contact with, has hElped me enormously. It was so lovely to talk to her on the phone and we still text regularly. Other people who I don’t know, it who I feel I do know, have also helped - people like Poster and Maria.
I had never used a forum before this and had never understood how helpful and supportive it was. Don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t here.
yes we can. It feels weird as I am still coming on this forum but don’t really need to in the same way as before. I just want to be able to support people who come on here and let them know that not everyone judges men as evil who view images/ get caught by police or hunters. At the time of the knock it is the worst feeling in the world and it was only by reading the stories of other women (and the occasional man) that I knew I could get through it as they had too. And then having endured the horror show that is SS I realised that if I didn’t have the work background I do plus the finances I wouldn’t have been able to deal with SS in the way I did. And I want to be able to support other women who are having troubles with SS and share that experience.
one person in particular on this forum, who I am now in personal contact with, has hElped me enormously. It was so lovely to talk to her on the phone and we still text regularly. Other people who I don’t know, it who I feel I do know, have also helped - people like Poster and Maria.
I had never used a forum before this and had never understood how helpful and supportive it was. Don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t here.
I am so pleased for you that its over and that you got the same outcome as we did, although my kids still wont let my hubby near the grandkids and will have nothing to do with my partner which hurts and is destroying us as a family , i get so upset as its me thats in the middle of what was nothing and there is no one there to help. I should be jumping with joy but its not that way as it wrecked our lives. I hope many more get the same outcome and wish there was a group of us that could help others who are not the victims but part of this whole mess x
Well I now know what 'NFA' stands for - and what a wonderful outcome after months of limbo and heartache that is. Have a great Christmas Big Sigh - I can understand your anger and frustration but I hope you find joy and can appreciate the wonderful things in the world again soon. XT
Really happy for you Big sigh. All those months you have suffered and been in limbo, and all for nothing. It's a disgrace. It will take you some time to get your life properly back on track but you will do it. Every day will be one step away from the nightmare you've been living in and one step towards your new future. Good luck x
So pleased for you big sigh, hope that you can start to rebuild your life. No one will understand the utter devistation accusations and long term investigations cause. I know everyday how my life could fall apart if my partner didn't keep going.