Family and Friends Forum

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Hello All

i don't write on here much but often read posts about this awful journey!



Yesterday, my OH appeared in magistrate's court but unfortunately a reporter was in court. Within a couple of hours it was online across a couple of local papers plus today it was in a printed newspaper. Which was a shock to see when waiting to be served in the local Spar!

Due to this I've had to tell my family, who are shocked. I was worried that they would disown us but they have been extremely supportive to me but are not at the stage to see my OH. There are also very angry at both of us, me for not telling them so they could support me and my OH for what he has done.

I broke down in front of my boss at work today and before I knew it I had told her everything. She has been so supportive and assured me that this will be between us. And again she said I should have opened up before plus to stop saying sorry.

Seeing this in the newspaper/online has really brought this home and how devastating this has been. My OH is on the edge and it's exhausting trying to keep him safe.

i just needed to get this off my chest!



xx

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 2:05pmReport post

LisaMargeMaggie

Member since
July 2024

268 posts

That sounds so shocking and exhausting. Well done to your parents for being there for you, and your boss. Are you and OH staying together? Has he been sentenced? X

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 2:32pmReport post

EllBee

Member since
April 2022

201 posts

Oh you poor thing, that's so tough. This is also the one thing that worries me more than any of it, because we too have kept it fairly quiet, only a very small number of family and friends know what's happened. The media have so much to answer for, when it comes to affecting the supporting family. It totally sucks.
You have my empathy, and the only positive I can say is that it seems it will be old news soon, people will move on. Take care and look after yourself X

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 2:51pmReport post

Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

I can totally relate... my person has been in the local papers three times now... I chose not to look after the first time as the comments were horrendous...

Just remember that true friends will be there for you and ad foe everyone else, today's news is tomorrow's chip paper...

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 3:15pmReport post

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

293 posts

I have been in your situation. I didn't have to tell family until sentencing but it was in the local press and on social media.

It does soon become old news I promise you.

Sending hugs.

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 3:52pmReport post

Ginluver

Member since
April 2023

82 posts

Hi, I have been there with the media and it's horrible but people do talk for a bit about it then it's old news and they are talking about something else. When it came out in the media my ex partner lost loads of friends that he hadn't told due to it and they were on social media sharing articles etc it was horrible. I don't think they look at the impact it has on the persons family at all. Sending strength to get through this really difficult time. X

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 4:03pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

985 posts

My heart goes out to you. It's awful when it happens but very soon they'll be on to their next story.

It's horrible thinking that everyone has an opinion and thinks it's ok to judge your person. But on the other hand your secret is out so you've nothing else to hide. You can now start being your authentic self and let those around you who want to care for and support you, do so with the knowledge of what you're facing and going through. Sending you both love and strength.

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 4:08pmReport post

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Thank you all for your supportive replies.



I have spoken to my brothers as lost my parents in my twenties. My brothers have been supportive but only to me not my OH. One of them actually called him the P word which was very hard to hear. It's all very new to them so they have to process the news, I have pointed them in the direct of LFF website/phone number. I can only hope they do gain more knowledge around these situations.



My OH hasn't been convicted yet as his case has been referred to CrownCourt.

Posted Wed August 21, 2024 9:33pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Lonely x

Just wanted to send you hugs x

The media aspect of this journey is awful as these wonderful other ladies have said it will be old news before long , of course it hurts but as with everything else you will get through it

We are here if you need us xx

Posted Thu August 22, 2024 3:37pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2752 posts

It's horrible and you have my heartfelt sympathy........ the truth is twisted by the media - then the horrible comments begin.

You have lived this, you know the circumstances, you know your OH and the person he really is. Basically they don't know what they are talking about.......

Trust - it will pass and settle. Hug sent x

Posted Thu August 22, 2024 5:33pm
Edited Thu August 22, 2024 5:34pmReport post

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