Family and Friends Forum

We have only been friends in a marriage for years. MyOh made no efforts to show me love and I grew accustomed to accepting scraps. I am a very independent woman who manages the money within this marriage. I have saved for years for retirement and now he threw a grenade under that future stability. He is a child who manipulates our 31 year old son and myself to stay and support him. I'm in 2 worlds, one where I see a helpless man and I stay out of pity. The other person is clever and is biding my time and knows he has rights to the marital home and so I continue and tell him what he needs to hear and know in my hearts that we are done. I want to protect my assets. So everything I works towards is not used up in a court case and defending his sorry ass. I feel no love any more. He betrayed that love by secrets, lies, gaslighting me. He dragged me into a world of pure nastiness and I hate it. Like I'm just a simple girl, nor asking for much. Just love and a partner who is 50/ 50.
I envy other marriages and know I have been a single woman in a marriage for years. I went everywhere myself. I don't see that changing.... like he makes no effort to seek out help towards recovery. He would much rather brushing in under the mat and gets a little hostile if pushed about steps he is not taking. Like I wanted him to do everything in his power to fix this and put in the work. Fight like a man but alas here we are. It's me buying books on porn addiction and enrolling on zoom class to hear others stories. He has really not taken enough steps to help himself. I sit here in a Sunday morning 25th Aug 24 and sorry about rant just wanted to put my thoughts out there. Am I just becoming a heartless cow.