Full of Dread
Notifications OFF
Almost month from the knock in relation to my 16yr old child. A straight 'A' student always feared getting in trouble and still does. Suffers anxiety and prides on doing right thing.
We know (and disclosed in police interview) he's clicked on pop ups that have unknowingly taken him to websites and we know he reported snapchat and they accepted it violated. So knowing him we are just praying nothing downloaded.
I was kind of coping (or best I could) but since person came from early support I feel my mind is racing again. Bail is no unsupervised time with under 16s.
He enrolled at college but hadn't mentioned anything to college and wasn't informed to. Now early support say college need to know for safeguarding, particularly because he's doing digital media course.
Then they questioned access to gym we attend. I explained he goes in over 16s area or stays with us. I got impression she was questioning his access and right to go.
He wanted to take up a new sport but now I'm wondering how this going to be impacted because there could be under 16s. Although it is a sport you do on your own.
The whole time they were here it felt she didn't believe us when we were saying type of child he was. I also got same impression when speaking on phone to them.
I'm praying this doesn't impact his college. I understand safeguarding but he's still to carry on however long this thing takes. I wish the police could give us more info then at least we knew what we were dealing with and how something was allegedly accessed.
I'm due to start a new career in healthcare next month. No idea how I will cope. I can't tell work any of what's going off but then what if I need time off. Plus no idea how I concentrate on a new job when all this unknown and everything running through my brain.
If I could all access to Internet would go. I literally hate it. Even with all restrictions in place I don't feel its a safe place and more needs to be done.
I just want to do the best for my child.
We know (and disclosed in police interview) he's clicked on pop ups that have unknowingly taken him to websites and we know he reported snapchat and they accepted it violated. So knowing him we are just praying nothing downloaded.
I was kind of coping (or best I could) but since person came from early support I feel my mind is racing again. Bail is no unsupervised time with under 16s.
He enrolled at college but hadn't mentioned anything to college and wasn't informed to. Now early support say college need to know for safeguarding, particularly because he's doing digital media course.
Then they questioned access to gym we attend. I explained he goes in over 16s area or stays with us. I got impression she was questioning his access and right to go.
He wanted to take up a new sport but now I'm wondering how this going to be impacted because there could be under 16s. Although it is a sport you do on your own.
The whole time they were here it felt she didn't believe us when we were saying type of child he was. I also got same impression when speaking on phone to them.
I'm praying this doesn't impact his college. I understand safeguarding but he's still to carry on however long this thing takes. I wish the police could give us more info then at least we knew what we were dealing with and how something was allegedly accessed.
I'm due to start a new career in healthcare next month. No idea how I will cope. I can't tell work any of what's going off but then what if I need time off. Plus no idea how I concentrate on a new job when all this unknown and everything running through my brain.
If I could all access to Internet would go. I literally hate it. Even with all restrictions in place I don't feel its a safe place and more needs to be done.
I just want to do the best for my child.
It's blazingly clear how much you love your boy and how devastated you are watching him go through this. I send you my empathy as our person is our son too, much older but still our boy! I've found one of the hardest things for us in all this has been holding in tension that we have feelings about his reasons for offending and also gut feelings about whether he is a danger to children BUT we can't be totally certain of anything as we would never have dreamt that he would have committed these offences in the first place plus we're not mind readers so have to keep in the mix a tiny bit that just perhaps he isn't the man we thought him to be. That has been so hard and we have at times felt as if we're betraying our love for him by not being more vocal in his favour about whether or not he can be trusted. We just can't know for sure. We have been fortunate in that most of the professionals involved have been very non judgmental with us and him, and I'm so sorry you're not finding that - it must be extra hard when you long to convey to them what he is like so they get it.
All you can do is keep loving him, whatever crops up good or bad, believing in him as a person BUT developing a thick skin with others you have to deal with and what they might imply and accepting too that you have to give a strong impression that you understand the need for safeguarding issues even if it feels like a bad dream that you have to even think in that way concerning your lovely boy. And I have no doubt that he IS a lovely boy and he is lucky to have you.
That reads back as a bit of a ramble so hope it makes a bit of sense.
Big hug sent from one mum to another.
All you can do is keep loving him, whatever crops up good or bad, believing in him as a person BUT developing a thick skin with others you have to deal with and what they might imply and accepting too that you have to give a strong impression that you understand the need for safeguarding issues even if it feels like a bad dream that you have to even think in that way concerning your lovely boy. And I have no doubt that he IS a lovely boy and he is lucky to have you.
That reads back as a bit of a ramble so hope it makes a bit of sense.
Big hug sent from one mum to another.
Thank you. It just feels like so many obstacles in our way and no idea when devices will be checked. Praying nothings unknowingly downloaded.