Family and Friends Forum

Fridays check in x

Notifications OFF

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Afternoon lovlies x

This week has absolutely flown by I cannot believe its Friday already

Can you believe we are almost in to September

A good week work wise, a few hour long chats with HC, he is good, keeping himself occupied, not a great week for food but still in good spirits, finally have all his clothes to send in his yearly clothes parcel, hopefully I will get it all washed and ironed and ready to post in next week, he was actually allowed to have a single duvet and fitted sheet included in his parcel (he is so looking forward to having a fitted sheet)

I have the furbaby again for the weekend so some nice walks ahead, I have also promised myself to read another book the weekend

I could not also mention how it's been another tough week on the forum again with new ladies finding themselves here and another heartbreaking loss of life :-( x



It's just so sad and it makes me think how fortunate I am that HC is here , this is one of our own worst fears isn't it x

I hope you all find something to bring a bit sunshine in to your weekend

Love sent as always xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 2:27pmReport post

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

913 posts

Hello darling.



Just wanna send you some big ((hugs)).



xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 2:31pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Hi Chelsea1 x

How are you both doing?xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 3:30pmReport post

Devastated_mum

Member since
July 2024

64 posts

Hi girls

Upset Mum - glad you've yad a good week x

I've had a hectic couple of weeks, what with GCSE/AS results, university open days, animecon... feel like I haven't stopped. Which in a way is good, as it gives me something else to think about...

My living room is full of my sons stuff, as he is now officially homeless. I have no idea whether he is aware of this though as we have still been unable to contact him. It's been 10 days since we made a request of the find a prisoner service - I don't know how long on average it takes, so is it that he really doesn't want anything to do with us, or do I just need to be more patient?

It doesn't help that its coming up to his birthday. I hate to think of him all alone on his birthday thinking we don't care? Even though we don't have his prisoner number, do you think I'd be able to get a card to him? (A court clerk accidentally let slip where he is, so at least I know that much)

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 4:14pm
Edited Fri August 30, 2024 4:15pmReport post

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

357 posts

Hi all

Been a good week. Babysat last night for my grandchild and then been and treated myself to some new clothes today. Nothing fancy just new jeans and a couple of tops.

Back to work proper on Mon. Will be good to be back in my regular routine. I work in a school but I work in the holidays albeit a slightly altered work pattern.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. We've got some lovely sunshine at the moment.

Take care x

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 4:26pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Devastated x

Ahh bless you , I think perhaps it's more than he is ashamed/ embarrassed and dosent know how to explain whats happened, rather than he dosent want anything to do with you,

You will need his Prison number for any communication, however as you know where he is you could call the wellbeing number of the prison, and tell them you are concerned and would like him to make contact,

Feel free to message me lovely x

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 4:35pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Caggie x

Glad your ok and so pleased you treated yourself to some new clothes, cant beat a new pair of jeans x

How are you feeling about going back to work? It will be good to have a routine again xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 4:39pmReport post

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

165 posts

Hi all

This week has flown by, my last week of my summer holidays. Back to work Monday. I also work in a school but I don't work in the holidays, unless I have time to make up and I have to go in like I did last week. Hoping for an easy day to ease into as I've already made a headstart on setting up the register for September.

We have been trying to sort out our garden especially the hedges at the front of the house that overhang the pavement. We've had a warning from the council about our hedges, and this week I found out that someone had reported us to the council but didn't want to leave a name. We were already in the process of cutting the hedges back but we're waiting for our garden waste bin to be emptied.

Our daughter had her enrollment day at college on Wednesday where she collected her lanyard and sorted out her bus pass. From 1 September she can use the bus pass for any journeys, not just to and from college, which will help a lot when she wants to go to her boyfriend's and save our petrol and time picking her up.

We went to see Deadpool and Wolverine on Tuesday and yesterday we went for a drive out to a town in the next county to us, just me and my OH, no teenagers moaning that they want to go home. We made a good day of it. My OH wanted to have a look in this second hand shop that we went to last year. He didn't buy anything but I bought a couple of CDs, one is a compilation of rock anthems.

Tomorrow night our granddaughter will be staying over at our house while my daughter goes out. Hoping she doesn't get really drunk like she did last time. I've told her to pace herself.

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 4:51pm
Edited Fri August 30, 2024 4:57pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Dawn x

Enjoy your weekend before work on Monday but again it will be nice for you to have a routine back x

Good luck for your daughter going to college they grow up.so quickly dont they x

The bus pass will definitely save you some pennies on fuel

I love a good charity shop especially for books

How was the film? No sitting in the back row I hope :-)

I watched a series on Netflix called Brassic seen it advertised but always skipped past it, well I started watching it on Sunday, 4 series wasnt sure on the first episode but oh my god it was so so good, I have not belly laughed for years but this had me crying with laughter the language, the characters (Ash has to be my favourite) it is just so good, I did shed a few tears also, xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 5:06pmReport post

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

913 posts

Hiya Upsetmum.



We are doing ok thank you. How's yourself and your boy ?



Xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 5:35pmReport post

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

581 posts

Hello everyone,

sending big hugs to everyone here and especially to Tablecat who has been so brave in sharing her story although my heart is aching for her.

Upset it is great to hear that our HC is doing so well and I'm sure the new bedding will be very much appreciated by him.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting on things over the past week as it is coming up to 2 years since we relocated and now nearly 18 months post sentencing.

This time last year everything still seemed very raw and uncertain even with the relief of son receiving a community order and we were trying to cope with unhelpful PO and Visor- now things are far more settled and although not ideal we have adapted to the new normal.

I honestly never thought that I would survive this but I now know that I have more strength than I ever imagined and I will never stop supporting my son even though I can't condone what he did and the tearing apart of our lives- what I'm trying to say I think is that there is hope even when things seem very hard xxx

This forum has honestly been a lifeline to me and I will be forever grateful xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 5:54pmReport post

Elliott

Member since
December 2023

44 posts

How time flies - but then on the other hand it feels like we have been in this nightmare forever! A busy week here - we are currently clearing out my mums bungalow as she is in a residential now - so many memories and very emotional finding her wedding dress and letters from my dad when they were courting - she is 89 bless her. Tomorrow we intend to go to a local hop festival and listen to different bands in different venues and on stages built in the town centre. We are 10 months into this nightmare and for the most part I can put it in its box in my head and try to carry on our new normal. Sorry this has been longer than intended but I find once I start it just keeps coming . Sending love and strength to every one on different stages of this god awful journey xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 6:12pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Seaside x

It is always so lovely to hear from you xx

As I said before I remember your first post and how devastating it was for you all

So many things to deal with not only your son but other emotional things going on x

For me I reflect on day one of this journey and I look at where we are now

We find strength from somewhere deep inside how incredibly strong are we x

Your son will continue to flourish each day how could he not having you by his side:-)

I tell HC how he has become known on here for his food consumption but the most important thing is I know how you have all accepted him and are genuinely interested in how he is doing xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 6:33pmReport post

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

527 posts

Hello friday check on

Devasted_mum when my OH was on remand i was told if i dont know his prison number then put his full name and his date of birth on the envelope and it would get to him. Hope this helps with you sending the birthday card.

My week has been ok. Spent most of it watching the tennis when I am not working.

Had a couple of days off and one of the days was my wedding anniversary. Where this was a lovely day with lots of people sending their good wishes and loads of messages on fb, I now have nothing. Family have never acknowledged my anniversary since the knock. Not one of them asked if i was ok. Family member just said to me once, why would you want to celebrate it. It was not the case of not celebrating but for noone to ask if i was ok on a date that i had celebrated for over 30 years, it is now a nothing day. The last two years i ahve felt really sad on this date, as though we are still living together, we are not really together. But it is a day that binds us. So we went out and window shopped and OH made me a pizza for tea. He took ages and it was the sweetest thing he had done in years. Though he normally cooks, but he cooked it from scratch, i am on a diet so he made the best pizza i have had in years and made it so i stayed on my diet. It made the day nice instead of upsetting. I dont know why family think by not saying anything, by not thinking how we perceive this date, it is a good thing. It was, is, might be a special day once more, but it is still an emotional day, but they ignore it exists. Sorry gone on a rant. I think i am getting fed up with people thinking that things like this is not hard. But no matter if we stay or leave, that day will still be an emotional day. Why do they not get it!!!



So my wedding anniversary this year was not too bad. And the rest of the week was ok. Went for a long walk up a mountain last weekend, and going out tomorrow to the coast for some sea air. So that will be nice.

i hope everyone manages a nice weekend. X

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 6:38pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Elliott x

Oh gosh how emotional, so many beautiful memories to keep, her wedding dress I can only imagine how beautiful it is, have you any thoughts on what to do with it?

You have found a way to cope with this journey if it means putting it in a box to the back of your mind and it works then take some comfort as letting it engulf you , we all have our own ways of getting through this x

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 6:40pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

965 posts

Good evening Friday check in, my week has also flown by.

I made a decision a few weeks ago to stop dwelling on the friendships I've lost and instead to start trying to be a good friend to those who need a friend. So far I've had 2 coffee dates and have found myself really enjoying our conversations.

Tomorrow I'll be attending a family wedding which will be bitter sweet as my son didn't get invited. I've also got family coming to stay with me for a few days which will be great as their love for my son hasn't waivered.

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 6:57pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Ocean x

No matter how difficult tomorrow is remember how amazing you are and nothing or no one can take that away:-) xx

Your son may not be there in person but he will be right beside you in your heart, look how far you have all come since day one xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 7:41pmReport post

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

165 posts

Upset x

The film was very good and funny. I like Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman.

I think Brassic was on Sky, I kept seeing it advertised but never watched. We don't have Netflix but I have found it on catch up, so I think I might give it a whirl. I could do with a laugh. I have recently watched Gavin and Stacey again, with my OH this time as he didn't watch them the first time around. We both enjoyed it and I forgot how funny they were (I love Uncle Bryn).

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 8:14pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Dawn x

Deffinatly watch it, persevere with the 1st episode, and honestly I have not belly laughed so much in years x series 4 had me in fits of laughter, but also pulled on the heart strings but I thoroughly loved it x

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 8:23pm
Edited Fri August 30, 2024 8:24pmReport post

Flower

Member since
February 2023

155 posts

Hi all.

I'm having a really difficult time with social services and have locked horns in a legal battle/proceedings for months now. It's emotionally draining. One thing the family court has to do is prepare for every outcome. We have to prepare for husband's return as well as baby's adoption (over my dead body?) And all other options in between. I'm so tired and most days can't believe we were issued proceedings where up and down the country the risks were managed within CIN/CPP.

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 8:53pm
Edited Fri August 30, 2024 8:53pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Flower x

I am so sorry for what you are having to deal with I cannot even imagine how difficult it is for you x

Adoption what , how can they even say that ? Its disgusting they should be ashamed of themselves

How is little one doing?

I wish I could offer some advice

Sending hugs to you xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 9:04pmReport post

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

409 posts

Relaxing with husband on the sofa at the moment, kids are asleep upstairs.

I sleep with all 3 kids in a room at night, as per the safety plan.

Tomorrow we will take our children to the park and my son will start reception on Monday.

I'm a bit nervous because I had to disclose previous ss insolvent on the registration forms for primary school.

I wonder when I will be asked what happened and how that will go down... :(

I just wish I could be carefree and not have this hang over me all the time.

@Flower I'm so incredibly sorry for what you're going through. I thought you had won the battle against SS, but they still haven't given up.

I wish you all the best, that you can keep your beautiful baby and that they will finally get off your case. Lots of love xxx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 9:28pmReport post

JustAboutHoldingItTogether

Member since
August 2024

23 posts

Can I join?



I'm new here as I joined this club around 2 weeks ago. Bail conditions for my person are no contact with me or the kids so I've been thrown into being a single parent. (In the summer holidays, with all the electronic devices seized!!)



Thankfully I've just had a time away with my extended family, but we got back home today and I am feeling lost and lonely. I don't think I've processed everything and not sure I want to.

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 9:28pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Hpl111 x

Enjoy relaxing together x

Have a lovely day tomorrow all together at the park, maybe a nice icecream treat also x

Try not to worry about what they will want to know it has to remain confidential but I totally get the anxiety you are feeling

Little man will have the best time and that is all we can hope for

You have come this far so try not to worry xx

Posted Fri August 30, 2024 9:43pm
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 11:33amReport post

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

25 posts

Not one to comment much but wanted to say to all you lovely ladies that you are amazingly strong and brave..My week has been a rollercoaster, I spent early part of week in tears. I think for me telling my 3 siblings was a disaster as they are so black and white and consider my OH as a pedo and want me to divorce him. They consider me weak if I stay and it's playing havoc with my depression. I've told them he has moved in with his parents just to get them off my case. I dont want to divorce and want to trust that he is truly remorseful for viewing and downloading images. He says it was like being in a daze. It was our 32 wedding anniversary on Thursday and bless him he had flowers in vases when I came home from work and got us a takeaway and made us a lovely apple tart. We had a lovely evening. I'm trying to look after my mental health as this is a hell of a journey.

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 8:54amReport post

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Alpaca x

I had to reply to your post as this is so very much like my situation and just how awful it can be. My family are very much the same and can't understand why I'm still with my OH. Live isn't easy that's for sure.

Sending hugs x

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 9:53amReport post

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

25 posts

Ah thanks lonely and bewildered, I just spoke to my sister there and while she doesn't know I'm still with my OH, she has agreed we won't talk about this subject any more unless I bring it up which is good progress for me. It's a lonely road sometimes. I still love my OH which my siblings will never understand and I have to respect that and hopefully in time, they will respect my way forward. I'm just taking one day at a time. How far along are u on your journey?

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 11:33am
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 11:33amReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Alpaca x

Huge hugs sent x

This is your choice and your alone, while people's beliefs in this offending they dont fully understand how devastating it is to be on this journey, not one of us condone our loved ones for what they have done and ultimately there are victims in all of this ,

This is not the whole of them

Your health is so important, you cannot control other peoples opinions but you can start to think what you want, there is no right or wrong decision

I am bu my sons side 100% that is my choice and decision

Your OH is taking responsibility and working on himself and that is a huge positive

I am sure your siblings will support you it's just finding the right balance for you all and you will

Be kind to yourself and focus on something that you want to do,

Always here if you need us xx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 11:42amReport post

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Hi Alpaca x

OH is due to be sentenced shortly, he has already pleaded guilty. We had the knock 11 months ago. I've only just told family due to the reporting in the press and thought it was only right they heard it from me. I alway intended to tell them after sentencing as it hard keeping up this horrible lie.

I was summoned to a meeting for me to hear how this was affecting them and their lives. They don't understand why I'm still with him and that I must be weak. It was also said that I was ok with what he has done. Which is not the case, I'm glad he has been caught and he needs to be punished that's for certain. They have said that I will always be part of the family but would not be invited to any family get togethers. And I would miss out on all the nice things that families do.

Happy for you to message xxx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 11:53amReport post

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

25 posts

Lonely and bewildered I know its not ideal, but going alone to family events is strange at first but as time goes on everyone adjusts. Maybe they will forgive him once sentencing has happened and maybe once they see that you are okay. I guess as a nation people judge and this is especially true with these offences. Everyone had an opinion and feel they are within their rights to ram it down our throats. I feel people need education and more needs to be tellivised about how online offenses happen and the shock waves left in its path. There is a lot of young boys getting drawn down this path by miseducation and not being spoken about. Sex is still so taboo. I'm by no means condoning my OH behaviour and he is a grown up man who should have knew better.

Sorry went on a rant. I am so grateful for this forum and you kind ladies x

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 12:51pmReport post

Pinkey2019

Member since
July 2022

95 posts

Hi flower I was reading through the post and and saw your post I could not just read and not reply back I can understand how you must be feeling I have also had social involvement due do my husband reoffending and was taken to court and had to have all the assessment done it was horrible experience I had and they made him out to be a monster but when Lucy faithfull did the assessment he came back as low risk but I was made to choose between my son or husband but I chose my son and the outcome came out to be he is low risk and he has supervised contact at the moment untill his son turns 7 if you need to take feel free to inbox me we also had assment done for guardianship as well .

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 1:26pmReport post

PrairieMom

Member since
May 2024

144 posts

Hello Friday Check in,

It's nice to hear about all your weeks, the good and the bad. My heart hurts for Tablecat and everyone impacted by suicide.

My week has been ok. The weather is getting cooler but have had some nice bike rides and backyard fires. I've started watching Lost on Netflix. Trying to get the kids back to school mindsets and bedtimes. My husband spoke to his lawyer and things are moving there, will be known in a few months.

Take care everyone.

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 8:24pm
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 8:24pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2743 posts

Hi ladies - bit late in posting this week! Haven't spoke to my son this week, how I hate this non communication - mind races. Bet the daft sod hasn't paid any phone credit or prison network down(?). Distraction time to force myself NOT to overthink..... retail therapy calls!!!!!!!

Good to hear your weekly updates. It's become a valuable part of our forum - despite what we go through it reminds us - our lives matter too!

I was extremely sad to read Tablecat's posts, I think it just sobers us all up and you realise the depths of devastation these crimes cause for everyone involved. I send you my love.

Appreciated lie-ins with a week on holiday but keen to get back to a normal work routine tomo.... Deffinately not ready to retire just yet....

so love and hugs sent to you all xxxx

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 6:53am
Edited Sun September 1, 2024 7:36amReport post

Quick exit