Family and Friends Forum

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Hello x

When does this end! I've had to tell my family due to OH trial hitting the press. Last night I was asked to attend a family meeting to discuss a way forward. I wasn't asked to choose, I'm currently still with my OH, but basically told that if I do stay I will always be on the edge of the family, not invited to family get together ects.



They all clearly want me to leave my OH. My head is all over the place. It's like, who do I pick my OH or family? They can't see any rehabilitation. They all said how much this has affected them and how it's impacted their life's.

All I see at the moment, is a very broken man who loved my family very much.

i have no idea what to do and my head is racing and keep thinking what is the point!

Sorry to rant but everything seems so black at the moment.

xxx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 7:52amReport post

K4

Member since
October 2022

623 posts

I'm so sorry to hear this. Don't forget that your family are months behind you in getting over the shock of this.



give them time and they may come round. This has been my experience to an extent.



xx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 8:09amReport post

Alpaca

Member since
June 2024

25 posts

Hi I just read your post there lonely and bewildered. I have to agree that the family is in shock and for me when I first told my sister she was so angry and called him every name and swore she never wants to see him again. She said he was twisted and I needs to get away. When I was saying that I might stick it out. It turned into a screaming attack and she said some awful things. I know she only wants the best for me, as do my brothers but I have to carve a way forward that I can live with. I'm always here if you want to vent. They will not be as angry in couple weeks/ months. I'm not saying that they will ever want him in family situations again. I hope it all works it way out. Sends hugs and be kind to yourself

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 11:44am
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 11:46amReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Lonely x

Ahh bless you lovely, I can imagine how much turmoil you are in x

If you can make today for you and your OH, is there anywhere you can go for a couple of hours, maybe a walk, or a drive just to give you some time to clear your head,

Family will of course what what is best for you

However no one can make you decide on WHAT you want and putting ultmations on you is unfair

This is new for them and need time to adjust so maybe once they have had time there views will change or you will all be able to have middle ground

You clearly love you OH and this does not define who they are as a person,

I am sorry OH is struggling I hope you both have some form of support

Not a great deal of advice I know but I couldn't read your post and not respond

No matter what, you have absolutely got this lovely, one step at a time xx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 11:59am
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 7:43pmReport post

Lonely & Bewildered

Member since
October 2023

82 posts

Upset x

Thank you for your reply,

Firstly you are truly a special person, you support so many of us on this forum. I want to say a HUGE thank you,

I'm angry with my family at the moment, everything was about them and how they were feeling with what's happening. Their attitude may change but I'm not sure mine will concerning them. They even mentioned our late parents and what they what they would think about this, which was very unfair of them as they know that I'm very fragile around the lost of them.

Thank you to everyone for your kind comments x

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 3:13pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2502 posts

Lonely x

Always here for you x

It was totally unfair for them to bring you beloved parents in to this, I am sure had they still been here they would without a doubt absolutely accept your decision and would stand by you wholeheartedly xx

Dont let their negativity even enter your thoughts, you have got this far by yourselves and out of respect you opened up your heart and told them about this journey so they wouldn't just see it in the media,

Time to put you and OH and what you both want,

Your wellbeing and that of your OH is what is the most important thing

Hugs xx

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 5:30pmReport post

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

806 posts

Hi, this is just my opinion. What your and my partner have done is horrendous. However, it's only one aspect of them. Your family can judge if they want to but they have no clue what you're going through and they don't know how they would react if it happened to them, after all, do they know what their other halves are doing 24/7 online? Nope! When you decide to live with someone, have kids with that person, marry them etc, that becomes your family unit. The rest of the family are simply that, the rest, in my opinion. I think they are being really unfair and should be offering all the support they can to you! I'm "fortunate ", I had no family of my own to contend with. Xx

Posted Mon September 2, 2024 3:52pmReport post

Quick exit