Family and Friends Forum

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

75 posts

Hello all, I had such a scary and stressful day yesterday. :(

My OH pleaded guilty for communication, it will go to Crown Court for sentencing end of September with presentence probation report call in around a week.

We were initially expecting a community order, but our solicitor told us that since there was a request for an image and he sent an image (of his underwear), according to guidelines, the sentencing point was at 18 months with the lowest 9months, with a guilty plea reducing it to 12 months. She mentioned that we had mitigations: therapy with a Stop So psychotherapist weekly for over 5 months, a detailed report from the psychotherapist, he did all the help modules of stop it now and discussed them with the stop it now practionare on weekly calls, 4 good character letter, no previous convictions, and that it was an undercover operation, so no victim was involved. So, she said it probably a suspended sentence, but of course, she cannot guarantee that there won’t be a prison as that’s the judge’s decision.

I am so scared. I cannot even picture my person in prison. I know he made a very bad mistake and should never have had that communication, but I am so scared. After court, they met with the probation officer for an appointment, and the officer suggest him that it will probably be a community order or suspended sentence, but I am still so scared about the risk. He also said he wanted to read the psychotherapist letter because it would help then assess risk. I don't know how to live the next month with the fear of my person ending up in prison.

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 8:59pm
Edited Sat August 31, 2024 9:02pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2504 posts

Galaxy x

Take a deep breath and breath lovely x

No one other than the judge on the day can decide on the outcome x

It's an awful journey to be on isn't it x

No matter how difficult it is remember you will get through this x

Posted Sat August 31, 2024 10:24pmReport post

LittleRobin3

Member since
April 2024

882 posts

Hi, I know how you feel. My advice is prepare for the worst, hope for the best. My ex was sent to prison for 3 years for IIOC, first offence. We survived, you will too. Hopefully your Judge will be more reasonable. X

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 9:44amReport post

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

235 posts

How do you get the risk assessments, letters and therapy sessions/courses or counselling? I.e all the evidence that they're a good person who made a mistake and regret it. My person is awaiting finding out if it's going to CPS but they've been offered nothing, no info from police except bail conditions and nothing from social services: they're mostly concerned about my capacity to protect and in person supervision. Nothing about understanding offending rehabilitation or preventing or monitoring.
Everything counselling and therapy courses etc ive found cost hundreds or thousands of pounds; theyre not working currently and we have no savings.
They've done the LFF stop it now online modules and attend SAA weekly but there's nothing in writing or referrals or anything to show he wants to/is trying to change. My person has been advised that the evidence is not very strong and seems to think they're likely to drop it or that it'll be a suspended sentence they're even on about pleading not guilty if it gets that far. I don't think they realise the sentencing guidelines are a lot worse that they're expecting.

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 1:08pmReport post

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

75 posts

Hello Holding - for the psychotherapy, I email Stop So. In there website there is a request form, not always quick is repsonding but I emailed after few days explaining how we really needed support and they called me the day after.

It is paid each session in our case, but try to reach out and explain your situation via email hopefully they can find support. My OH has been in therapy for 5 months and his psychotherapists was really happy and share his feedback with a report to the Court to explain everything they have worked together and how he does not consider my OH a risk; they have even worked on a prevention plan.

For LFF I suggest you ask them for a letter 1 month before magistrate Court (that's what they recommended us). It's a report saying all the times your OH has contacted them and also if he has done the modules with a practitioner they will also mention.

For character letter our solicitor told us how to rwt them.

Hope it can help. Lot of love

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 3:03pmReport post

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

75 posts

Thanks Robin and Upset - trying to distract myself and do my best. I think I won't ever be prepare to a prison sentence. I cannot even imagine myself saying bye to my person. Its so scary :(

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 3:04pmReport post

Stressedoutlady92

Member since
August 2024

36 posts

I understand how you're feeling. My partners trial is tomorrow, should last max 8 days but we both feel sick to our stomachs. He has pleaded not guilty to IIOC on a device and inciting, it's been over 5 years as a whole now.
I'll let you know how it goes. Big hugs!

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 5:22pmReport post

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

235 posts

Thanks galaxy



Keeping my fingers crossed for your outcome Galaxy. Every part of this whole journey is awful, but at least you're moving along closer to the end.

Posted Sun September 1, 2024 10:53pmReport post

Galaxy123

Member since
April 2024

75 posts

Stressed - thinking about you today! Hope everything goes fine. Big hug! Good luck xx

Posted Mon September 2, 2024 12:05pmReport post

Molly dog

Member since
October 2023

84 posts

Had plea hearing today and we have to go back to magistrates for sentencing in oct no media at court thank god my husband also had to go and sign something at police station today in preparation for signing the register

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 3:14pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

986 posts

Molly dog, I'm so pleased to know that your person managed to escape the media. The time between now and sentencing is such an anxious time so try to look after yourself doing anything that makes you feel good.

Stressed, I'm thinking of you as your trial continues.

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 7:48pmReport post

Poppop

Member since
September 2023

85 posts

Hi galaxy 123

My son case was commucation attempted as it was decoys

He actually sent a nude picture of is private bit abd asked for images

He was told to prepare for prison

His case went to crown court

He got 2 yrs suspended sentence

100 hrs community service

And horizon course

The judge took into account him pleading guilty at first opportunity and his autism

She did mention he could of been sentence to 8 months, in prison but he be out in 4 so not worth sending him to prison as he would inot be there long another to start any course



He now two months past sentence and he as meet with probation officer and started is community service

Hope these gives you a little hope

But it does depend on judge on the day

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 9:55pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

986 posts

Hi Galaxy, my son was also sentenced for communication charges including inciting. He was told to prepare for prison but received a 2 years suspended sentence, the maximum number of community service hours, a fine and the Horizon course.

The judge had read in detail all the information given to him and praised my son for his very early guilty plea and for the work he had done with LFF and his therapist.

He is coming up to a year post sentencing and is due to start the Horizon course this month.

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 10:08pmReport post

Quick exit