Family and Friends Forum

Sorry you find yourself here. I think it very much depends on your local social services and what details are in the referral from the police. I have primary age child. Bail conditions from the start have stated they can't reside or have any unsupervised contact and I'm not allowed to do the supervising. Were co-parenting but have separated, he's living with other relatives. Were on a child in need plan for at least the next 6 months. We are awaiting CPS to see if there is any evidence for charges. I have a feeling that no matter what happens we'll have these restrictions in place until my child is at least an older teenager (or able to advocate for themselves and say what they want).

the problem I have is the uncertainty and the unknown. I don't know what will happen and I dont know how long it will take. Some families have been waiting for years, and then if there are any charges or consequences there's a wait then....and the sentences are long and almost always involve long restrictions.

I cant see a future relationship with my person if we're not actually able to be together as a family or live together for years and that's without the trust and resentment issues that come with what they've done. I go from feeling sorry for them to resenting them and back again.

This will take a lot of time and a lot of decisions we're just not in a position to make as we don't know what the future holds.

As a parent you have to protect your child first, then yourself and unfortunately then the offending family member.

There is no deadline on you making a decision either way. You may change your mind a million times. Every situation and person is different you have to do what's best for you and your child/ren.

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Hi I saw your post life ruined if you don't mind may I ask you was the office to do with images or communication and yes you are right some one the people are Lucy depends nds of the local authorities did you gigs have any assment done by Lucy faithfull?

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Thank you for your reply everyone case is soo different and yes it also depends with the socail services I really had a horrible experience I will be honest we had to go to family court to have our assessments done by Lucy faith before the assessment even started I was asked to make a decision if I was going to stay with him or leave him which was very unfair but at the end the out came out to be he is a low risk and he can have unsupervised contact when my son turns 7 I don't. Understand if he is a low risk why couldn't they put something in there lace so we can carry in as a family I was very sacred to lose my son he was only 8 months at the time when this all happened and they all finished in 2023 .

Hi, no one can dictate to you who you choose to have in your life. With children it complicates things. You will need to prove to SS's etc that you have their best interests at heart, above anything else. You're in this for the long haul. I felt very differently a year after the knock compared to a month after etc. I'm 7 years after the first knock and 2 1/2 years after the second. We have 4 now adult kids, two were young at the time. We divorced within it first year. Although I felt he would never, ever put is all through it again, he did. I would've always been looking over my shoulder. I know now that he will always prioritise this over us. I was naive in the beginning. It's complicated because although we find ourselves here, all our stories vary greatly. The day after the first knock, my other half of 30 years told me he'd started to be attracted to children from age 12/13. I'd lived a lie all that time. I could never have shared a bed with him again, let alone my home etc. I wish you all the very best but remember, this is your journey, no one else's. Xx

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