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Any similar experiences? To try and lessen my anxiety.

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Purple123

Member since
September 2024

1 post

Hi all,

My partner was arrested and let out on bail after being interviewed with insufficient evidence to charge and pending investigation. His devices were taken.

I'm unsure whether he is telling me the whole truth and I'm not aware of the exact reason the police arrested him. In a nut shell, he's saying he's visited in-appropriate content online, not purposefully looking for it, but scrolling and letting curiosity get the better of him after struggling with an addiction to all types of porn, for several years. This will be his first, ever offence. He seems truly devastated, and so am I, and his family. I've been left heartbroken over this, unsure of how/if I can support him, and what future we hold.

I'd like to hear people's stories of anything similiar, time it took and the consequence at the end as I'm going through absolute torture right now.

Thank you in advance. Stay strong x

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 8:48amReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2744 posts

Bless you Purple, the start of this horrible journey we find ourselves on - is the worst. You life has spiralled out of control, your life has changed and mentally and physically you go through hell - yes I'm sure we all resignate 100% as to how you are feeling.

My son was the offender - so different to your circumstances. I'm a lot further down the track too with my son in prison.



I would advise to do your best to take one day at a time and don't feel you have to make immediate decisions. You will no doubt come across pressures to do this, do that, but remember it's your life.

Seek help if you are struggling and remember to do the things you enjoy which will become a precious distraction. I'm sure the ladies can add to this.

im sending you one big hug x

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 9:25am
Edited Wed September 4, 2024 12:22pmReport post

EBP

Member since
September 2021

231 posts

As Smile says

One day at a time. Write down your worries & the facts you know. This whole process can take years. & you have to function each day. Call the LFF helpline . They are wonderful & will answer any questions as much as they can. They are wonderful listeners.

My person is my adult son who has been embroiled in this nightmare for 5 years. Community sentence given at the beginning of the year,but now on remand under further investigation. Let's hope this is the end of it.

The devastation does lessen & we accept our new normal'.

Good luck in your journey

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 1:02pmReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2744 posts

Just to add. Still do it now - I set myself tasks each day - could be anything - mow the grass, clean the bathroom, roast a chicken, go for a walk, meet up with a friend......... just something to do which gives me a focus and a distraction......

It's not always an easy thing to do, but it takes you away from your anxiety - even if only for a short while, it's a step in keeping that depression at bay and gathering your strength as you move forward.

Posted Wed September 4, 2024 1:27pm
Edited Wed September 4, 2024 8:29pmReport post

Lastima

Member since
July 2024

49 posts

Hi Purple

I'm sorry you had the terrible experience too. ????

I had exactly the same and I decided to stayed and support but I don't have the full details of what he is been doing or saying. He told me he forgot what he said in ....I stop supporting as I don't know what I'm supporting????

I will suggest if you don't know the extent and details of the investigation to be careful! Have a honest chat with him and set boundaries and limits ....if he doesn't disclose everything to you ....then you know and can chose leave or stay.

A loving supporting wife comes from a honest and open relationship specially when everything will come out soon or later!

That's my experience....I filled already for Divorce because in my case he told me ...I forgot what I said or sent. You could be amazed how lies after lies come from their mouths. ...specially if is addiction!

Feel free to send me PM if want more details . .happy to share !

Posted Sat September 7, 2024 8:08amReport post

Quick exit