Anyone else the daughter of perpetrator?
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I live in another city from my parents. They didn't tell me what had happened for a long time my dad was scared I'd never talk to him again. It's been a couple of months since they told me I still cant come to terms with it. It's been about 8 months since they got the knock we still dont know what the charges are. I'm absolutely petrified about people in my home town finding out we are a well known family with an unusual surname and my brother is a vulnerable adult who lives with my parents. My poor mum is going through hell she hasn't told anyone and shes keeping the whole family going. I'm struggling emotionally I cant stop thinking about what my dad has done and my feelings for him are so confused I cant bear to talk to him but he's so upset I'm worried about him too. I've told one friend only but I feel utterly isolated by it all its changed my life and how I feel about everything. I tried to call the helpline but couldn't get through. I'm too scared to go to a normal counsellor to talk about it as I work with vulnerable people and I'm scared the secret will get out. I've read the posts on here and they terrify me. Some days I think I'm going to explode I keep trying to hold all my emotions in a little box but they spill over and I cant deal with it. Anyone else on here is a daughter ? How are you dealing with it? I just want to protect my family but feel utterly powerless.
My father was arrested and all our electronic devices seized 18 months ago. Then I heard nothing. 18 months of nothing, and my life was going back to normal with an assumption that everything was fine, it had all been a mistake. He was arrested again recently and charges have been brought against him and I just can't understand it all because it feels like my heart has been torn out and my stomach has a hole in it. I can't believe what has been said but also they are going to court and presenting evidence so how can I not believe it? I am such a mess right now.
I'm dreading the media getting hold of the details because our name is uncommon, I live with my father because I moved in to care for my mum until she died 2 years ago and stayed due to his health issues to help care for him and because I didn't like the thought of him being all alone.
I'm dreading hearing the actual details of the case. I'm so hurt and angry and disgusted at the thought of what he may have done, and then I'm hurt and angry and disgusted at the thought that he might not have done it and how that might not matter given the way these things work if someone says something and people find out.
I don't know that it helps at all but I'm just find it all really difficult to process.
I'm dreading the media getting hold of the details because our name is uncommon, I live with my father because I moved in to care for my mum until she died 2 years ago and stayed due to his health issues to help care for him and because I didn't like the thought of him being all alone.
I'm dreading hearing the actual details of the case. I'm so hurt and angry and disgusted at the thought of what he may have done, and then I'm hurt and angry and disgusted at the thought that he might not have done it and how that might not matter given the way these things work if someone says something and people find out.
I don't know that it helps at all but I'm just find it all really difficult to process.
Hello,
im a daughter of an offender, around two and a bit years ago we got the knock at the door it was just me and my dad at home he was asleep as he was doing night shifts and I was just about to leave for work, the police said he had been looking at indecent images online. A year and a bit later he finally had his court case this April, and got a suspended sentence. It went quiet and in June it all came out in the papers. My life was turned upside down! My feelings towards my dad was how could he do that to his family and what caused him to do it, he was so hurt as well so I couldn't help but feel sorry. It has brought our family closer and I know that he will never do that again and it came from a porn addiction originally but I don't think you ever get over it every time there's a knock at the door I am on edge and I will never stop checking up on him which does his head in cus all he does is want to forget about it and move on. My mum doesn't know it came out in the media/papers either so I dread the day she ever finds out x
im a daughter of an offender, around two and a bit years ago we got the knock at the door it was just me and my dad at home he was asleep as he was doing night shifts and I was just about to leave for work, the police said he had been looking at indecent images online. A year and a bit later he finally had his court case this April, and got a suspended sentence. It went quiet and in June it all came out in the papers. My life was turned upside down! My feelings towards my dad was how could he do that to his family and what caused him to do it, he was so hurt as well so I couldn't help but feel sorry. It has brought our family closer and I know that he will never do that again and it came from a porn addiction originally but I don't think you ever get over it every time there's a knock at the door I am on edge and I will never stop checking up on him which does his head in cus all he does is want to forget about it and move on. My mum doesn't know it came out in the media/papers either so I dread the day she ever finds out x
Thank you both for your replies. I havent been on here for a long time as like your post above we didnt hear anything for ages and now today we got the call and its much worse than we thought he's now being charged with more serious offences (download Cat a) I just cant get my head round it I'm completely lost yes I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest too I cant believe he's done this to us. My mum thinks he's going to take his own life I'm so extremely worried about everything I was just pretending there for a little while that it would all go away I cant believe I had my head in the sand I just dont know what to do with myself
Oh Janon I am so sorry to hear that bad news! It is such a tough time and you will get through it. It's so tough because it's so hard to understand what has caused them to go down this route but you've just got to be strong! I don't know what to say just know we're all here for you x
Thanks Evie so kind x