Meltdown…..
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Sorry, having the worst of nights! Alcohol not helping but I turn to drink when stressed and I'm VERY stressed! The offender is my son. His case had now been adjourned by CC for a 3rd time. It's totally split my family. I also have a son who is a police officer! So I think you can all sense the total devastation within our 4 walls. Add to this my mum is receiving palliative care...... I'm beyond broken ??.
I'm here, I hear you and I'm wrapping my arms around you in the biggest virtual hug. You're going through so much with your son, family and mum that it's not at all surprising you're broken. This journey brings us to our knees and can become completely overwhelming.
It's difficult to know what to suggest without being there but if I was feeling like you're feeling right now I would want someone to tell me to put my coat on and sit outside for 10 minutes concentrating on the sounds I can hear, the lights I can see, the smells I can smell and the things I can feel. For me that would help calm my mind even if the calmness didn't last for long. I'm mindful though that what works for me may not work for you so is there something you can think of that will help calm your mind?
I'm sending you so much love and strength and really hope you get a good nights sleep.
It's difficult to know what to suggest without being there but if I was feeling like you're feeling right now I would want someone to tell me to put my coat on and sit outside for 10 minutes concentrating on the sounds I can hear, the lights I can see, the smells I can smell and the things I can feel. For me that would help calm my mind even if the calmness didn't last for long. I'm mindful though that what works for me may not work for you so is there something you can think of that will help calm your mind?
I'm sending you so much love and strength and really hope you get a good nights sleep.
I just don't know how much longer I can do this. To be what everyone else needs..... I'm totally empty
Dear Athena,
Like you my person is my son and also like you we had relisting of CC dates. It took 6 months of this, having a new date in 4 weeks time, then it was done on a weekly basis before finally going ahead.
I know how much you are going through with the court relistings. The stress and build up each month takes its toll on the whole family. I hope your person is coping ok and I hope your police person is doing ok.
Mostly I hope you are able to get help and support as it is often mums who have to be the strongest one to weather the storms that come as part of this horrible journey. I hope you have someone you can talk to both about this and about your mom's situation. I am so sorry.
Unfortunately the helpline won't be back until Monday but do call them.
In the meantime please use this forum to vent, it does help. We are here and know exactly what you are facing.
Thinking of you. Xxx
Like you my person is my son and also like you we had relisting of CC dates. It took 6 months of this, having a new date in 4 weeks time, then it was done on a weekly basis before finally going ahead.
I know how much you are going through with the court relistings. The stress and build up each month takes its toll on the whole family. I hope your person is coping ok and I hope your police person is doing ok.
Mostly I hope you are able to get help and support as it is often mums who have to be the strongest one to weather the storms that come as part of this horrible journey. I hope you have someone you can talk to both about this and about your mom's situation. I am so sorry.
Unfortunately the helpline won't be back until Monday but do call them.
In the meantime please use this forum to vent, it does help. We are here and know exactly what you are facing.
Thinking of you. Xxx
Massive hug from me too xxxxxx
Athena x
You are absolutely not alone, we are here for you and totally understand what you are all going through
Keep reaching out to us , sending huge hugs xx
You are absolutely not alone, we are here for you and totally understand what you are all going through
Keep reaching out to us , sending huge hugs xx
I'm just struggling with everything, I really don't know how to get through each day. I feel like a robot! Smile & pretend all is ok & then behind closed doors it all just floods out. Does it ever get better ? Will life ever feel normal again? Will I ever have my cherished family in one room together again? I'm angry, sad, emotional, resentful, ashamed & never did anything wrong to deserve any of this but am guilty of supporting my own flesh and blood. That does not mean I don't like what he did. It's all just a mess.
Athena, so much of what you say resonates with me. I too am here because of my son, I too have wondered how I can get through another day with so much sadness and pain in my heart and I too love my son unconditionally.
We are coming up to 1 year post sentencing and yes I still have sad days, yes I still wake up with that familiar feeling of anxiety and yes I still wish life could go back to how it was. But the anxiety is now much easier to manage, I'm now able to count my blessings, I hear the birds singing in the garden again, I smell the sea as I approach the beach, I find things to laugh about and I get to spend lots of time with my Grandchiildren as my son has them to stay at weekends.
You're in the toughest days of the journey but those days won't last forever. One day you'll find something that genuinely makes you smile again, you'll hear the birds singing again and you'll find that you are not thinking about the awful journey you are on 24/7.
You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. You're standing by your son and offering him the love he needs and that love is the unconditional love that us mums have for our children.
We are coming up to 1 year post sentencing and yes I still have sad days, yes I still wake up with that familiar feeling of anxiety and yes I still wish life could go back to how it was. But the anxiety is now much easier to manage, I'm now able to count my blessings, I hear the birds singing in the garden again, I smell the sea as I approach the beach, I find things to laugh about and I get to spend lots of time with my Grandchiildren as my son has them to stay at weekends.
You're in the toughest days of the journey but those days won't last forever. One day you'll find something that genuinely makes you smile again, you'll hear the birds singing again and you'll find that you are not thinking about the awful journey you are on 24/7.
You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. You're standing by your son and offering him the love he needs and that love is the unconditional love that us mums have for our children.
Beautiful words Ocean and so true x
Mandymoo, thank you. How are you and your son doing?
Ocean - lots of up and downs since sentencing but slowly I have days now where I don't wake up full of anxiety and have even been known to have days where I can forget it for a while. You were all right that this would happen but a year ago I just couldn't see that ever been true. My heart breaks for all the new ones having to go through this. I'm glad you're coming out the other side xx
Meltdown
I too am supporting my son, even though he is in prison. I can't turn my back on him. But I have accepted that this has happened & the only way is forward. He is being punished, but it will end.
Earlier in the year,a huge black hole was swallowing us up, all consuming. Now it is smaller,not so dominant in our lives. It is a form of grief that we have learned to live with.
You will too.
We are all here to help you get through this.
I too am supporting my son, even though he is in prison. I can't turn my back on him. But I have accepted that this has happened & the only way is forward. He is being punished, but it will end.
Earlier in the year,a huge black hole was swallowing us up, all consuming. Now it is smaller,not so dominant in our lives. It is a form of grief that we have learned to live with.
You will too.
We are all here to help you get through this.
I understand how you're feeling - lost, grief stricken, bewildered, sick.. everything.
My OH was sentenced yesterday, likely to be given a lengthy custodial sentence. In July, I lost my job, and I feel totally alone. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this feeling if being abandoned by the one person I truely loved and trusted.
Feel free to PM me, that goes for anyone else too.
My OH was sentenced yesterday, likely to be given a lengthy custodial sentence. In July, I lost my job, and I feel totally alone. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this feeling if being abandoned by the one person I truely loved and trusted.
Feel free to PM me, that goes for anyone else too.
It just totally sh1t - it really is ??.
Thank you all for your understanding. x x
Thank you all for your understanding. x x