Left in limbo
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So I'm an old timer returning as I'm filled with such hate, many unanswered questions and I feel I have had no support.
it's been nearly 5 years since my now ex's arrest he's served his time and released about a year and a half ago. Myself or my now adult daughter who he abused wasn't informed about his release one of his family members let it slip.
My ex and I had a young child together who he has no contact with. What makes me angry and kind of left in limbo is the fact he served his time and just walked away without a care in the world. I'm left trying to hold a broken family together even years down the line. He's still on the mortgage. Can I remove him? How do I go about it? Do I file for child maintenance? Can I when I don't know where he lives? My only point of contact is his parents who I supposed to pass messages through but refuse to as they only make excuses for him - he's homeless, he's penniless and he's not working. Can I use someone else as a point of contact? If I can how to I arrange it?
I filed for child maintenance today online but stopped and quit halfway through because I don't want his paremts finding out and being angry or taking it out on the child we have together as they still have regular contact with my child and he loves them dearly.
sorry we are all here dealing with this x
it's been nearly 5 years since my now ex's arrest he's served his time and released about a year and a half ago. Myself or my now adult daughter who he abused wasn't informed about his release one of his family members let it slip.
My ex and I had a young child together who he has no contact with. What makes me angry and kind of left in limbo is the fact he served his time and just walked away without a care in the world. I'm left trying to hold a broken family together even years down the line. He's still on the mortgage. Can I remove him? How do I go about it? Do I file for child maintenance? Can I when I don't know where he lives? My only point of contact is his parents who I supposed to pass messages through but refuse to as they only make excuses for him - he's homeless, he's penniless and he's not working. Can I use someone else as a point of contact? If I can how to I arrange it?
I filed for child maintenance today online but stopped and quit halfway through because I don't want his paremts finding out and being angry or taking it out on the child we have together as they still have regular contact with my child and he loves them dearly.
sorry we are all here dealing with this x
Hi,
I think you should seek legal advice on the questions you've asked here. You could start by contacting your local citizens advice team who may be able to signpost you. Failing that you could contact a family law firm, most offer a free initial appointment. Take your questions written down as the time will fly by and if you're not prepared then you could walk away without many answers.
I'm sorry that you've been left to deal with all of this, there really should be advice and support available for the fallout of these offences particularly for your daughter as a victim xxx
I think you should seek legal advice on the questions you've asked here. You could start by contacting your local citizens advice team who may be able to signpost you. Failing that you could contact a family law firm, most offer a free initial appointment. Take your questions written down as the time will fly by and if you're not prepared then you could walk away without many answers.
I'm sorry that you've been left to deal with all of this, there really should be advice and support available for the fallout of these offences particularly for your daughter as a victim xxx
Hi, I never bothered with child maintenance because the ex was on the very lowest amount of UC so even if he'd been made to make a contribution, it would've been a pittance. X
You can claim child maintenance quite easily although experiences with them vary. I'm sure you can open a case online. As for the other bits, maybe reach out to Citizens Advice and ask for support. Women are always left to carry the can and it is infuriating. Sending love and support x
Thank you everyone I've been to our local walk in citizens advice hub and it ns never on when it's supposed to be. I've been left on hold on on the citizens advice phone line for ages that I lost my patience and my nerve so hung up. I might try my local solicitor but I know they acted for my ex before he was imprisoned so might not deal with me.
the best way to explain how I'm feeling was how I described it to my best friend. As I had a lot of problems with social services and my ex in laws and lied to by my ex. I felt like my life was like a pack of playing cards that had been thrown in the air to slowly fall to the ground which once settled after his sentencing and social services just closed my case and walked away leaving me looking around at the scattered cards (my life) and the mess they were in. Where do I start to clean up how do I clean up the mess? Even years down the line I've got so much I want to ask him so much I want to say to him but I'm not allowed.
thanks for reading
the best way to explain how I'm feeling was how I described it to my best friend. As I had a lot of problems with social services and my ex in laws and lied to by my ex. I felt like my life was like a pack of playing cards that had been thrown in the air to slowly fall to the ground which once settled after his sentencing and social services just closed my case and walked away leaving me looking around at the scattered cards (my life) and the mess they were in. Where do I start to clean up how do I clean up the mess? Even years down the line I've got so much I want to ask him so much I want to say to him but I'm not allowed.
thanks for reading