The aftermath and recurring behaviour
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My teenage sons case was no further actioned a month or two ago after a lengthy complaint to the iopc. The relief was immense, and after a year of suicide attempts, and both of our mental and physical healths plummeting it felt like we could start to get back on track and enjoy life. I wasn't naieve to the fact it could happen again, and knew this was a real possibility due to my sons unresolved past sexual abuse, as well as his conditions (asd and poor mh)
However, today I have discovered he's back on teen nude sharing groups. He did admit to me yesterday a number of issues with friendship and school and a change of routine this week have pushed him into exchanging nude photos with other teens, however he did not tell me he was on the websites.
I am at a loss of what to do. Here is under Child Protection, the edge of care team, Camhs and forensic Camhs, however, we have been offered very little support or guidance of how we can help these compulsive behaviours that have started as a result of sexual abuse he experienced shortly before starting puberty.
My son is under age and exchanging (consensually) with other kids underage. I'm told by professionals just told to block websites and monitor / take away his devices. In an ideal world I'd love to do this, but my son refuses, and I have very little in the way of control over him with his conditions and attitude.
And, although blocking websites and monitoring devices is a great idea, it doesn't stop the compulsive behaviour he turns to when stressed or depressed. I think he would then just try to access through a different means, and I don't want to increase the risk of his compulsion turning into something more than it already is. I encourage him to access regular porn which he normally does - however in times of stress, loneliness and depression he resorts to these forums.
There's no real solutions I know, I'm just fed up of the system, the lack of support and the isolation of it all.
lots of love to all, x
However, today I have discovered he's back on teen nude sharing groups. He did admit to me yesterday a number of issues with friendship and school and a change of routine this week have pushed him into exchanging nude photos with other teens, however he did not tell me he was on the websites.
I am at a loss of what to do. Here is under Child Protection, the edge of care team, Camhs and forensic Camhs, however, we have been offered very little support or guidance of how we can help these compulsive behaviours that have started as a result of sexual abuse he experienced shortly before starting puberty.
My son is under age and exchanging (consensually) with other kids underage. I'm told by professionals just told to block websites and monitor / take away his devices. In an ideal world I'd love to do this, but my son refuses, and I have very little in the way of control over him with his conditions and attitude.
And, although blocking websites and monitoring devices is a great idea, it doesn't stop the compulsive behaviour he turns to when stressed or depressed. I think he would then just try to access through a different means, and I don't want to increase the risk of his compulsion turning into something more than it already is. I encourage him to access regular porn which he normally does - however in times of stress, loneliness and depression he resorts to these forums.
There's no real solutions I know, I'm just fed up of the system, the lack of support and the isolation of it all.
lots of love to all, x
You might want to ask LFF about him doing the Young Peoples Inform programme.
https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/inform-young-people-for-young-people-who-have-got-in-trouble-online.htm
https://www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/inform-young-people-for-young-people-who-have-got-in-trouble-online.htm
The LFF course is really good, my son and myself have done it.
I would also get him in with a counsellor that has alot of knowledge around Autisum, if he is not getting the support through CAMH and you can do it, I would have a conversation with them about going private. Its really common for Autistic people who find friendships chellenging to turn to online forums, and then they get carried away within the forum as they feel connection and included without the huge masking they have to indevor face to face. Autistic people are more likely to be a victim of a crime, then the perpitrator and are more likely to commit a online offence then an actual. This is due to everyone doing the same thing in the group on line, so they lose the ability to see right from wrong and get carried away with being accepted. Executive function is also 30% lower, and if we look at the rationel develops at 25 then he has this to contend with too. Due to the social and emotional aspects of life being hard too, they feel left behind in peer groups, these can especally be when sexual talk is being herd and they may go into groups due to being sexually inqusitive. The danger is that these groups are also full of people wanting to take advantage of young people!!! This is where our journey started!!!
I would also get him in with a counsellor that has alot of knowledge around Autisum, if he is not getting the support through CAMH and you can do it, I would have a conversation with them about going private. Its really common for Autistic people who find friendships chellenging to turn to online forums, and then they get carried away within the forum as they feel connection and included without the huge masking they have to indevor face to face. Autistic people are more likely to be a victim of a crime, then the perpitrator and are more likely to commit a online offence then an actual. This is due to everyone doing the same thing in the group on line, so they lose the ability to see right from wrong and get carried away with being accepted. Executive function is also 30% lower, and if we look at the rationel develops at 25 then he has this to contend with too. Due to the social and emotional aspects of life being hard too, they feel left behind in peer groups, these can especally be when sexual talk is being herd and they may go into groups due to being sexually inqusitive. The danger is that these groups are also full of people wanting to take advantage of young people!!! This is where our journey started!!!
Just want an end to it
Thankyou for your really clear summary re. the autistic mind & offending. I think this perfectly sums up what my son did. I hope that the court appointed psychiatrist conveys this to the judge at sentencing.
Thankyou for your really clear summary re. the autistic mind & offending. I think this perfectly sums up what my son did. I hope that the court appointed psychiatrist conveys this to the judge at sentencing.
Welcome, If you need anything please feel free to ask. Good luck
Thank you just want to end it all and edel.
Yeah - I totally appreciate everything you are saying. It just breaks my heart there is no understanding within society of what causes this behaviour from our young people.
As soon as you are looking at young children you are seen as a predator, despite sometimes there being lots of reasons behind the behaviour such as mental age below that of their peers, autism & SEN.
Yeah - I totally appreciate everything you are saying. It just breaks my heart there is no understanding within society of what causes this behaviour from our young people.
As soon as you are looking at young children you are seen as a predator, despite sometimes there being lots of reasons behind the behaviour such as mental age below that of their peers, autism & SEN.