Family and Friends Forum

This has been asked a few times before and I think the consensus was no. You asked the same question back in March. I personally do not want to hear from the "other side". I hope he can find another space to make his excuses, but not here. Sorry if this seems harsh, but we are suffering enough

I personally wouldn't mind hearing from the other side of the story, as I am researching a lot to try and understand x

I think this space is for families and not families who are victims of this sort of offences. I think they have other platforms to raise their concerns etc....they have courses, live groups ....what else would they will be taking from us ??? I think this is our safe space and shall be respect it !

Hi Chelsey, I think it's great that your OH wants to tell his story as I'm sure it would be beneficial to others especially offenders who are pre sentencing and can't imagine a future. Would it be worth him contacting LFF and offering his story and time to them? Maybe he could even be involved on the courses they run.

I'm sure you asked this a few months ago and the mods said no.

I don't think this is an appropriate forum to do so. I think this forum should be a protected space for secondary victims of this crime.

Hi,

I would like to hear the other side of this story but I agree this isn't the right platform. There is another forum called "the world According to the knock". It has a podcast, and there has been a man telling his side of the story. I think you will have more luck there.

I'm sure there will be some who will be I interested to hear the other half of the story - especially if they didn't get it from their own partner.

But I don't want to know. I haven't had the truth from my ex. But then I don't want to hear his list of excuses as I'm sure they are just that.

I hope your person finds a suitable outlet to tell his story. I can see how that might help him.

I'm sure non of us condone Chelsea 1's suggestion, the heading is 'discussion and support' after all.

I think we all battle on here trying to understand how our loved ones became involved in this crime. We support each other in a non judgemental way. It's our comfort blanket and for many our only way of venting feelings with others that actually understand and are on the same journey.

If the other side was aired - I'd fear we could become judgemental which is the very thing we work at avoiding!!!

We also have to never ever forget the victims in this crime too. Each and everyone deserves our respect.

i think there possibly is a place for this post but not on here I'm afraid.

I agree with Anxiousgirl she said what I was thinking. There is plenty of support groups out there for offenders so might help to look one of those up. Check out the pinned post at the top of this page.
good luck x

Chelsea-don't apologise my lovely, you have nothing to apologise for! Hug of reassurance sent x

Chelsea - I hate to think you feel as if you've done something terribly wrong by asking.

Personally, and as long as it was clear what the post was about, I could choose not to read it. But i can see how, for those who feel strongly that it shouldn't be allowed, it could make them feel that this forum wasn't the safe place they needed. Also, and even though we keep our anonymity tight, this is a public forum for anyone to join and it might not be exempt from people on a crusade to 'get' these monstrous abusers punished, from joining and trying to workout identities which would be unsafe in another way. I know i panicked about having moaned about our OIC and deleted all my posts once in case she was on here and guessed it was me. Hardly likely but the anxious feeling was very real.

Can I suggest respectfully, and fully aware that we all have valid and strong feelings, that we move on from here now and not make Chelsea feel any worse and as if she's done something unthinkably bad.

Chelsea1 You have nothing to apologise for, please don't beat yourself up.

My reply was sharp but heartfelt, I am still so angry with my very much ex OH 8 months into the journey. I have been offered no explanations and would struggle to believe any he tried tbh.

However, I know that others have been kinder to their person and supported/forgiven/believed them.

We are all different, maybe I am just one of the vindictive ones who want to see punishment and consequences?

Anyway, as I said, no need to apologise for being a better person xx