oh my effin god!
Notifications OFF
What a day. What a truly awful day. Without a doubt the worst in my life.
8:30 - came the knock and the arrest.
the blur between then and 11 - the search of my home. The questions after questions. Can't fault the police - they were as pleasant as could be.
Then they left. And I was left in limbo. Or purgatory.
Hours of waiting.
"can you pack a bag and leave it in the car - he can't come back due to the minor in the home"
well shit.
Will wake up and relieve all these emotions again.
it's the not knowing. How bad it is, how long it'll take. What'll happen? Do I stay with him. Do I leave?
can't see the child for the time being. Arghhh!!!
thank you if you read my stream of conscious
8:30 - came the knock and the arrest.
the blur between then and 11 - the search of my home. The questions after questions. Can't fault the police - they were as pleasant as could be.
Then they left. And I was left in limbo. Or purgatory.
Hours of waiting.
"can you pack a bag and leave it in the car - he can't come back due to the minor in the home"
well shit.
Will wake up and relieve all these emotions again.
it's the not knowing. How bad it is, how long it'll take. What'll happen? Do I stay with him. Do I leave?
can't see the child for the time being. Arghhh!!!
thank you if you read my stream of conscious
First you must know that you are not alone. Your reaction is completely 'normal' to this trauma. I call us the Mutual Devastation Society!
Please ring the LFF helpline & turn to this forum for support.
Sadly many have gone before you on this journey.
Just a caution. The police appear to be supportive,but it is not necessarily so.
Others will be more able to give you advice re family life,as my person is my single 29 year old son.
Sending you a big hug to hold you up.
Please ring the LFF helpline & turn to this forum for support.
Sadly many have gone before you on this journey.
Just a caution. The police appear to be supportive,but it is not necessarily so.
Others will be more able to give you advice re family life,as my person is my single 29 year old son.
Sending you a big hug to hold you up.
has this just happened today? so sorry you've found d yourself here but you've found it early and it is a great place for support maybe thibk on calling the help line also they are amazing I called the stop it now helpline and the lady I spoke with was amazing just wished I had known about it earlier than I did. all of us on here will know how you feel after that knock it's the worst feeling in the world it's hard to describe xx
Thanks for the replies!
It all happened yesterday. Today is different. Still rubbish. But just processing.
quick follow up about the police not always being supportive? I'd love to have some on that? I don't want to hinder them but I don't want to over help either I guess
It all happened yesterday. Today is different. Still rubbish. But just processing.
quick follow up about the police not always being supportive? I'd love to have some on that? I don't want to hinder them but I don't want to over help either I guess
So sorry to hear you've joined our club.
Please take comfort to know we've all been where you are and we're still standing, wonky, sometimes barely hanging on, and often not feeling like our usual self....but we're here and will help prop you up if we can. Please ring the helpline, try access some or any mental health support from your GP or local charities/counselling services as it's a bit of a rollercoaster and you don't know how deep the bad days will go. Try just get through one day at a time, it's natural to try plan and prepare for what's coming but this is a long process and you might not be able to do it.
deep breaths, a day at a time. Sending you a virtual hug.
Please take comfort to know we've all been where you are and we're still standing, wonky, sometimes barely hanging on, and often not feeling like our usual self....but we're here and will help prop you up if we can. Please ring the helpline, try access some or any mental health support from your GP or local charities/counselling services as it's a bit of a rollercoaster and you don't know how deep the bad days will go. Try just get through one day at a time, it's natural to try plan and prepare for what's coming but this is a long process and you might not be able to do it.
deep breaths, a day at a time. Sending you a virtual hug.
Sorry that you are here with us.
Please don't trust the police, they have let many on here, including myself, down. Don't be deceived by their friendliness and ability to build up a good rapport.
Take care of yourself and focus on the very basics. The early stages put you in total survival mode, and you have to create a new routine from the one you've been in.
Small healthy snacks if you feel you can't eat meals, and start building a good support network - including leaning on here and possibly finding a good therapist for yourself.
Please don't trust the police, they have let many on here, including myself, down. Don't be deceived by their friendliness and ability to build up a good rapport.
Take care of yourself and focus on the very basics. The early stages put you in total survival mode, and you have to create a new routine from the one you've been in.
Small healthy snacks if you feel you can't eat meals, and start building a good support network - including leaning on here and possibly finding a good therapist for yourself.
I am so sorry you find yourself here.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I send love. Eat when you can, see if you can talk to someone (self refer to NHS talking therapies or if funds alow StopSo are amazing)
Most of all, take care of yourself. There is no need to make decisions now. You will find strength you never knew existed. We will all make it through this, although sometimes we wonder how. Sending all my love to you and your family xxx
I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I send love. Eat when you can, see if you can talk to someone (self refer to NHS talking therapies or if funds alow StopSo are amazing)
Most of all, take care of yourself. There is no need to make decisions now. You will find strength you never knew existed. We will all make it through this, although sometimes we wonder how. Sending all my love to you and your family xxx
im so sorry you have joined this sh*t show - im glad you have have this forum so quickly as it is a great source of support (but also can be overwhelming at times)
Unfortunatly this is a long journey of many months and everyones stories are so different!
I found my police extreemly helpful - they kept me updated of everything and alsways answered any questions ive had as well as sign posting along the way. Although they are obviously there to keep everyone safe i've never felt anything but support from them (I have not stayed with partner but remain civil for child and child contact- they can see I have nothing to hide and always will put child safety first)
Many of us on here have children - which brings up many more questions - the boards have lots of shared experiences too.
Staying/going - there is no major rush to decide, i imagine your partner cannot come home atm but this can be useful for breathnig space, everyones situation is so unique -again no rush to decide, Social services may ask how you intend to keep child safe/supervised in the interim.
Please be gentle with ourself, this can be a long road, take it a day at a time and try find someone close to confide in - it makes the world of difference knowing you can talk to others in a similar situation.take everything a day at a time
take care x
Unfortunatly this is a long journey of many months and everyones stories are so different!
I found my police extreemly helpful - they kept me updated of everything and alsways answered any questions ive had as well as sign posting along the way. Although they are obviously there to keep everyone safe i've never felt anything but support from them (I have not stayed with partner but remain civil for child and child contact- they can see I have nothing to hide and always will put child safety first)
Many of us on here have children - which brings up many more questions - the boards have lots of shared experiences too.
Staying/going - there is no major rush to decide, i imagine your partner cannot come home atm but this can be useful for breathnig space, everyones situation is so unique -again no rush to decide, Social services may ask how you intend to keep child safe/supervised in the interim.
Please be gentle with ourself, this can be a long road, take it a day at a time and try find someone close to confide in - it makes the world of difference knowing you can talk to others in a similar situation.take everything a day at a time
take care x