Not sure what to think or do
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Yesterday afternoon I got a text message from my husband to say that he can't come on holiday today as he is being charged with accessing indecent photos.
We got the knock back in March 2022. I woke up to find a police officer in my bedroom telling me to stay where I was.
Another officer was speaking to my husband requesting his mobile phone and any other electronic equipment he had. They then left and he has never been arrested. The day after they took his electronic equipment they asked him to go in for an informal chat which he did. Naively I thought that was the end of it. Until yesterday.
He apparently has a court date next week, but I haven't seen him since Wednesday evening. I told him I want a face to face and for him to explain himself today before I go away. I don't even know what category he had been looking at, but it can't be Category A as he would have been arrested surely. Although he works he hasn't got a solicitor as he can't afford one.
Should he defend himself at his hearing is he best to plead guilty and if so, what sort of sentence would he be looking at? Also should I let him.stay or kick him out. I'm just so confused.
Apologies if I have waffled.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
We got the knock back in March 2022. I woke up to find a police officer in my bedroom telling me to stay where I was.
Another officer was speaking to my husband requesting his mobile phone and any other electronic equipment he had. They then left and he has never been arrested. The day after they took his electronic equipment they asked him to go in for an informal chat which he did. Naively I thought that was the end of it. Until yesterday.
He apparently has a court date next week, but I haven't seen him since Wednesday evening. I told him I want a face to face and for him to explain himself today before I go away. I don't even know what category he had been looking at, but it can't be Category A as he would have been arrested surely. Although he works he hasn't got a solicitor as he can't afford one.
Should he defend himself at his hearing is he best to plead guilty and if so, what sort of sentence would he be looking at? Also should I let him.stay or kick him out. I'm just so confused.
Apologies if I have waffled.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
If he hasn't got a solicitor by the time of the hearing, then at the magistrates court he can use the duty solicitor. They will have a quick look at the evidence and advise him how to plead.
But after that he needs to look into legal aid, because he will need a barrister for the crown court, if it goes to that stage and there are no duty solicitors at the crown court.
But after that he needs to look into legal aid, because he will need a barrister for the crown court, if it goes to that stage and there are no duty solicitors at the crown court.
Omg that's awful for you! It sounds like this really has come out of nowhere. How did he manage to hide that?!?
I mean a lot of us are torturing ourselves waiting to find out if charges are coming but he didn't even tell you that it hadn't been dropped or what had been happening, just left you to continue as normal and book holidays etc like nothing had happened.
thinking of you and hope you get the answers you're looking for.
I mean a lot of us are torturing ourselves waiting to find out if charges are coming but he didn't even tell you that it hadn't been dropped or what had been happening, just left you to continue as normal and book holidays etc like nothing had happened.
thinking of you and hope you get the answers you're looking for.
Hi, he will get a legal aid solicitor. I don't think it's a good idea for him to defend himself in court. If he's guilty, he should definitely admit that guilt to the courts because it'll get a quite significant chunk off any potential sentence. The courts take a really dim view of people going through trial when the evidence against them is compelling. I wish you all the best. X
Thank you all for your replies. It came as a massive shock to me. He told me he wasn't coming away by text, then didn't come home. I did see him before I went away though.
He said that I am isolated from this and according to him, it was 15 IIOC of cat C (teenagers) that the police found. He also reckons that these cases are confidential so won't be reported on, but I don't think that is the case. I also wonder of there are more than he is telling me.
Apparently he obtained these images via someone on a messaging app I had never heard off called Kick. I asked him why he never reported it and he said he doesn't know.
I am so totally confused with what to do and what to think. One minute I think its all a big mistake, but it's obviously not as he has a magistrate hearing this week.
I can't really speak to anyone close to me as no one would understand.
I am glad I have found this group as you are the only ones who could ever understand x
He said that I am isolated from this and according to him, it was 15 IIOC of cat C (teenagers) that the police found. He also reckons that these cases are confidential so won't be reported on, but I don't think that is the case. I also wonder of there are more than he is telling me.
Apparently he obtained these images via someone on a messaging app I had never heard off called Kick. I asked him why he never reported it and he said he doesn't know.
I am so totally confused with what to do and what to think. One minute I think its all a big mistake, but it's obviously not as he has a magistrate hearing this week.
I can't really speak to anyone close to me as no one would understand.
I am glad I have found this group as you are the only ones who could ever understand x
I would take what he says with a very big pinch of salt and contact the helpline for some proper and accurate advice.
Holdingthegrenade thank you for your response. I am thinking the same. Everytime I think of the impending hearing my stomach is in knots.
I really don't know what to do. I won't be at the hearing as I decided to go away, even to just think. Every day I am just thinking what did I do to deserve this? We have been together for over 20 years and never would I have thought something like this would arise. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone ever again. My life feels like it has been completely ruined.
I should have added that our place was never searched and he was never formally arrested just had his phone ans laptop taken, which is why this has completely come out of the blue. X
I really don't know what to do. I won't be at the hearing as I decided to go away, even to just think. Every day I am just thinking what did I do to deserve this? We have been together for over 20 years and never would I have thought something like this would arise. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone ever again. My life feels like it has been completely ruined.
I should have added that our place was never searched and he was never formally arrested just had his phone ans laptop taken, which is why this has completely come out of the blue. X
It sounds to me like he has been keeping a lot from you.
I think you should call LFF helpline. It is free. They are hugely knowledgable and will talk you through what will have been happening for him to be summoned to court.
I think you should call LFF helpline. It is free. They are hugely knowledgable and will talk you through what will have been happening for him to be summoned to court.
Thank you for your response. I don't feel ready to say it out loud to anyone at the moment, but did reach out to the chat team and have been given some advice, so thank you for that.
Hi Laralocket, the case most definitely is not "confidential ". Anyone can sit in on any court case on the public gallery. Also, there's often a court reporter lurking either in person or online. This was my biggest fear. What happened to me was there wasn't a court reporter on court on the day of sentencing so I thought we'd gotten away with that particular gem. However, 6 weeks later, I got a "courtesy" call from the officer in charge and she told me I had 2 hours notice before my ex's photo, crimes, sentence, name, age and the road we were living in went on the Police's social media where it was then picked up by the local press. There's nowhere to hide from all this but I so wish there was. Xx
Lara, do call them. I have cried - sobbed even - the minute someone picked up and they are used to that! Do call them. Do say it out loud. There is a lot here you havent been told and I think you need to face it head on.