Who am I?
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So when I had the call from the police we hadn't been together for 8 yrs.
We have a son together and have always had an amicable relationship.
We had a 20 yr relationship from when I was 16.
I can't help but now question the whole of the time we spent together.
As well as the arrest and allegations there have been other things that have come out about the person he really was.
All of the memories that were happy I am questioning, all of the time we spent as a family is jaded and for once all of the trust issues I had when we were together were right.
Most importantly was I actually a victim myself?
A whole 20 years of my life is now jaded by someone that I don't know now.
I've had to buy all new Christmas decorations because of the memories linked to them.
I want to move house because of the memories this house holds.
I am really struggling with who I actually am now.
How do people move forward from such a shock because of someone we thought we knew?
We have a son together and have always had an amicable relationship.
We had a 20 yr relationship from when I was 16.
I can't help but now question the whole of the time we spent together.
As well as the arrest and allegations there have been other things that have come out about the person he really was.
All of the memories that were happy I am questioning, all of the time we spent as a family is jaded and for once all of the trust issues I had when we were together were right.
Most importantly was I actually a victim myself?
A whole 20 years of my life is now jaded by someone that I don't know now.
I've had to buy all new Christmas decorations because of the memories linked to them.
I want to move house because of the memories this house holds.
I am really struggling with who I actually am now.
How do people move forward from such a shock because of someone we thought we knew?
It's so difficult to move forward.
I look back at my long marriage and wonder how much was based on lies.
It was mentioned on here and has really stuck with me - why weren't we enough?
I recently met someone - first since the breakdown of my marriage. He seemed such a nice bloke and I could see a future. But it all ended before it really got started. Took me a great deal of courage to admit my feelings and to contemplate a relationship including the physical side. But it ended before it really got started.
Once again I'm thinking yet again I wasn't enough.
So hard.
I look back at my long marriage and wonder how much was based on lies.
It was mentioned on here and has really stuck with me - why weren't we enough?
I recently met someone - first since the breakdown of my marriage. He seemed such a nice bloke and I could see a future. But it all ended before it really got started. Took me a great deal of courage to admit my feelings and to contemplate a relationship including the physical side. But it ended before it really got started.
Once again I'm thinking yet again I wasn't enough.
So hard.
Hi, I know how you feel. I absolutely feel like a victim in all this. When we got the knock we'd been together 30+ years, known each other from age 21, married for 17 years with 4 children. The day after the knock he phoned me from prison and told me that he'd been attracted to children from age 12/13. He kept a lid on that until he was 48. I feel that my entire marriage was a sham and he let me bring our children into the world without knowing what he is and the harm he could've done to them. We had problems with intimacy throughout our relationship and he let me believe that it was my weight that was the problem. So I became anorexic. Of course I now know that it wasn't my fault at all but how on earth does one get over something like this. Lots of love. Xxx