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Independent assessment, what to expect?

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TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

54 posts

Posted Mon September 23, 2024 11:41amReport post

Has anyone ever had to do an independent assessment for SS?

I've mentioned in a previous post that my previous SW mentioned PLO which as any parent can understand has sent me spiralling. My child has been on a CPP since before they were born and since day 1, SS have made it clear that they want my OH out of the picture entirely.

My OH has had a pre sentencing & assessment from probation which have marked him as a low risk unless isolated with Internet access which puts him to medium risk. The court has no issue with him being around children or us living together as a family, as ss won't allow it we've stuck to their rules.

So far our situation remains exactly the same until we have this independent assessment to which even my OHs probation officer can't understand why we both need it.

So if anyone's had to go through this what can I expect? What do they look for and what kind of questions do they ask? I'm in the process of making my own safety plan as well at looking at Circles for further help as well as being on the waiting list for Acts Fast.

To be honest and even some other professionals I've worked with have said they think that SS in our case have an agenda and won't be satisfied until my OH is gone. As much as I'd want us to remain a family as my child clearly loves his dad, my OH and I have discussed separating because of all this.

TIA for any advice x

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

105 posts

Posted Mon September 23, 2024 8:11pmReport post

So sorry you're going through this Hope

We're on a CIN plan but as with others I've had similar bad experience with SS who seem very keen on removing dad from the equation as much as possible, despite the fact that child loves their dad and does not want this. We haven't even got as far as charges so no idea of assessments or risk etc. he seems to think if no charges they'll ease up on restrictions but I'm preparing that supervised access and living separately will continue until child's 18th birthday.

Anxiousmummy

Member since
July 2024

12 posts

Posted Tue September 24, 2024 4:42pmReport post

Hi,

I can't really give any advice but I am going to follow your post as we are in a similar situation I feel.
unfortunately we've been on a CPP since before my girls were born (they're now 3, the knock happened nearly a year before we decided to have children) and with absolutely no changes to the plan and court being delayed a further year+, SS have finally come to an agreement to get an independent risk assessments done on both of us. (Although originally they only said it'd be on my OH, but I think it's because they need to see how I'll be safeguarding the children if they allow him access with me present, as atm he has to have a designated family member here whenever he's with the kids) they weren't going to give us independent assessments until trial outcome but I think even they realise that's now not viable.

SS are very frustrating because they have zero concerns on our children or on us (me) as parents, their only concern is what my OH has been accused of and the fact that I've stayed with him and believe his innocence (feel free to read my other posts on our situation) so a bit like you're self I've always felt that they'd have preferred me to not support him and him be out of the picture.



Please feel free to message me, even if it's for someone to talk to, becusse as much as I can't necessary give advice I may be able to provide a little support.

Bea

Member since
August 2021

65 posts

Posted Wed September 25, 2024 8:03amReport post

Have you done the Circles Breaking the Cycle Course?

We have had an independent risk assessment. That and the Circles report got us through CS as they had little amunition. Low risk + Protective Parent + Safety Plan = not a lot they can do.

Have a look at this document as it is quite useful and I used it and referenced quoted from it to my SW.

https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2023/09/Managing-risk-and-trauma-after-online-sexual-offending.pdf

I havent read this one but looks interesting

https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2023/10/Key-messages-from-research-on-child-sexual-abuse-by-adults-in-online-contexts-ENGLISH.pdf



I have a very robust safety plan if you want a copy. I need to take out personal details but do PM me.

TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

54 posts

Posted Wed September 25, 2024 3:06pmReport post

Thanks all for the replies, I've honeslty found more information & help on this forum than the SS has ever given me. I'm basicly all ready to go with courses like Circles, I've made a safety plan but always looking at ways to improve it, I've looked into the protective parenting assessment as well as other bits and pieces.

My worry is as it's happened in the past was doing all this work and then being told that it isn't good enough, I've asked so many times about what I can do and how can they better guide me and all I ever get is "I'll have a word with my manager" and never get anywhere. But I suppose taking action is better than waiting for them to help, it kind of makes me wish I did it all sooner, but with work & childcare, it's so much easier said than done.

I do want to fight to keep us a family, but I think if they came and said that my OH couldn't live with us until our child is 18 (currently 1 year old) then there wouldn't be much point to be in a relationship, yes my child will still know their dad but it's all down to whatever SS want to do.

thanks again for your help guys- I'll try and update as soon as I have any updates x