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Independent assessment, what to expect?

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TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

60 posts

Posted Mon September 23, 2024 11:41amReport post

Has anyone ever had to do an independent assessment for SS?

I've mentioned in a previous post that my previous SW mentioned PLO which as any parent can understand has sent me spiralling. My child has been on a CPP since before they were born and since day 1, SS have made it clear that they want my OH out of the picture entirely.

My OH has had a pre sentencing & assessment from probation which have marked him as a low risk unless isolated with Internet access which puts him to medium risk. The court has no issue with him being around children or us living together as a family, as ss won't allow it we've stuck to their rules.

So far our situation remains exactly the same until we have this independent assessment to which even my OHs probation officer can't understand why we both need it.

So if anyone's had to go through this what can I expect? What do they look for and what kind of questions do they ask? I'm in the process of making my own safety plan as well at looking at Circles for further help as well as being on the waiting list for Acts Fast.

To be honest and even some other professionals I've worked with have said they think that SS in our case have an agenda and won't be satisfied until my OH is gone. As much as I'd want us to remain a family as my child clearly loves his dad, my OH and I have discussed separating because of all this.

TIA for any advice x

Holdingthegrenade

Member since
June 2024

148 posts

Posted Mon September 23, 2024 8:11pmReport post

So sorry you're going through this Hope

We're on a CIN plan but as with others I've had similar bad experience with SS who seem very keen on removing dad from the equation as much as possible, despite the fact that child loves their dad and does not want this. We haven't even got as far as charges so no idea of assessments or risk etc. he seems to think if no charges they'll ease up on restrictions but I'm preparing that supervised access and living separately will continue until child's 18th birthday.

Anxiousmummy

Member since
July 2024

15 posts

Posted Tue September 24, 2024 4:42pmReport post

Hi,

I can't really give any advice but I am going to follow your post as we are in a similar situation I feel.
unfortunately we've been on a CPP since before my girls were born (they're now 3, the knock happened nearly a year before we decided to have children) and with absolutely no changes to the plan and court being delayed a further year+, SS have finally come to an agreement to get an independent risk assessments done on both of us. (Although originally they only said it'd be on my OH, but I think it's because they need to see how I'll be safeguarding the children if they allow him access with me present, as atm he has to have a designated family member here whenever he's with the kids) they weren't going to give us independent assessments until trial outcome but I think even they realise that's now not viable.

SS are very frustrating because they have zero concerns on our children or on us (me) as parents, their only concern is what my OH has been accused of and the fact that I've stayed with him and believe his innocence (feel free to read my other posts on our situation) so a bit like you're self I've always felt that they'd have preferred me to not support him and him be out of the picture.



Please feel free to message me, even if it's for someone to talk to, becusse as much as I can't necessary give advice I may be able to provide a little support.

Bea

Member since
August 2021

65 posts

Posted Wed September 25, 2024 8:03amReport post

Have you done the Circles Breaking the Cycle Course?

We have had an independent risk assessment. That and the Circles report got us through CS as they had little amunition. Low risk + Protective Parent + Safety Plan = not a lot they can do.

Have a look at this document as it is quite useful and I used it and referenced quoted from it to my SW.

https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2023/09/Managing-risk-and-trauma-after-online-sexual-offending.pdf

I havent read this one but looks interesting

https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2023/10/Key-messages-from-research-on-child-sexual-abuse-by-adults-in-online-contexts-ENGLISH.pdf



I have a very robust safety plan if you want a copy. I need to take out personal details but do PM me.

TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

60 posts

Posted Wed September 25, 2024 3:06pmReport post

Thanks all for the replies, I've honeslty found more information & help on this forum than the SS has ever given me. I'm basicly all ready to go with courses like Circles, I've made a safety plan but always looking at ways to improve it, I've looked into the protective parenting assessment as well as other bits and pieces.

My worry is as it's happened in the past was doing all this work and then being told that it isn't good enough, I've asked so many times about what I can do and how can they better guide me and all I ever get is "I'll have a word with my manager" and never get anywhere. But I suppose taking action is better than waiting for them to help, it kind of makes me wish I did it all sooner, but with work & childcare, it's so much easier said than done.

I do want to fight to keep us a family, but I think if they came and said that my OH couldn't live with us until our child is 18 (currently 1 year old) then there wouldn't be much point to be in a relationship, yes my child will still know their dad but it's all down to whatever SS want to do.

thanks again for your help guys- I'll try and update as soon as I have any updates x

36435

Member since
September 2024

5 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 3:09pmReport post

What is the circles breaking the cycle course?

Buckets

Member since
October 2023

62 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 3:32pmReport post

My partner has two independent assessments done but for a family court case. He was seeking supervised visitation rights for his two children from a previous relationship, as the mother cut all contact.

My advice is that whoever instructed this assessment to be very clear what they are looking for and the accreditation for the assesser. Especially if SS are not going to do it themselves.

Despite my partner finding three assessors for the courts to select, with CVs and supporting evidence, the court ordered an assessment which was picked on and this told he needed a second one.

Both stated low risk. In the end however it was concluded too detrimental to the kids wellbeing for him to reconnect.

He then wanted to look at getting the no contact with under 16s removed from his SHPO, as he doesn't have a contact offence. But despite having the probation reports and two independent assessments, be was told he would need enough assessment for this SHPO request! That is another 6k minimum!

Essentially, it isn't one assessment fits all. Which is crazy to me. So best to get an idea of what is needed and if more than one is required

Lolamoo73

Member since
November 2020

60 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 7:58pmReport post

It's likely we'll be in the same boat and having independent risk assessments.

I did just want to add that the Circles Breaking the Cycle course is £2,800 in a group setting and £4000 individual. I enquired as I wanted to do it but can't afford to be spending almost £3k when I have a baby on the way :-(

Hopingforbest

Member since
February 2020

69 posts

Posted Wed October 23, 2024 11:37pmReport post

Hi Hope

I just saw your post and wants to reply as we have been through same situation as your where our son was on CPP and we were on PLO and have independently assessment done for both of us.

I know PLO process sounds scary but it is really a good thing. It will give you lawyer for yourself and your OH so you will have a say in whatever decisions SS are taking otherwise SS are really good in imposing and twisting things.

We were on PLO process and SS wanted my OH to be our of the picture. We asked for a Independent assessment and they refused and said only outcome of their own PPR assessment is for me to leave my OH.

With our lawyers help we took SS to court and judge granted us Independent assessment. The questions which they wanted to assess us on are set by all 4 parties.

The Independent who done our assessment was really good and very non judgemental. I would suggest you to take your safety plan with you during the assessment. Learn about your OH's offenses. Get as much details you can get from police. I would also recommend to read The protectors book as it will help you to understand various bits about how you can protect your kids.

For my OH the assessment was very detailed and took 5 hours and there were 2 people assessing him and mine tool around 1.5 hrs.

InTatters

Member since
June 2022

175 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2024 2:04pmReport post

Hi there, just a note on the Circles 'Breaking the Cycle' course. If you self-refer (i.e. are not referred or required by another party) to the course, there is no cost, and it's not means tested. I completed the course on this basis and received a very comprehensive report endorsing my understanding and ability as a protective parent.

TryingtoKeepHope

Member since
June 2023

60 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2024 7:43pmReport post

As it stands we still don't have an update or even a date for these assessments even though I was told I'd hear something last week but I've come to expect little else from them.

I try not to be scared of the idea of PLO, but the minute it was mentioned it took my mental health to the worst it's been since the knock. And while it's not something to say lightly, it's the closest I've felt to wanting to end my life in years if my child was taken from me. I try to be strong, know that my child needs their mother but if they were taken, then I honestly don't know what I'd do. It's not something I'd dare mention to SS because I know instead of support I'd be marked down because of it as it's happened before. But honestly, I'm just getting to that point where I can't take it anymore.

Unfortunately and kind of fortunately because my previous SW was beyond useless, they were the one that informed me of the PLO process literally on their last visit and when I asked about this "legal advice" they kept going on about they just kept skirting around the question, so from them I had absolutely no information about the whys and hows, and now that I have a new SW it's basicly back to square one.

Even my OH's probation officer has argued that with how severe SS been with our case that I'm being punished for something I haven't done and knew nothing about, but SS won't shift until they get want they want, but if it's something they want to do it definetly feels like they love to drag their heels about it.

Thing is they've only finally told me after months of first mentioning it that I'd be having a protective parent assesment which fine go for it, I've looked it up countless times of what they ask and things, but to me personally it all just looks like common sense? But I guess only time will tell with what actually happens.

I'll try and keep updated when I finally get anywhere, thanks all xx

Lolamoo73

Member since
November 2020

60 posts

Posted Mon November 25, 2024 1:11amReport post

InTatters, I self referred just a couple of months ago (beginning of October 2024) and that's the costings they gave me. They said they used to offer it for free for people that self-referred but they've unfortunately lost their funding so are now charging the above rates. Now social services are involved, I'm going to push for them to pay but I'm not hopeful :-(