Did you attend plea or sentencing?
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Hello,
My husbands plea hearing is this Thursday and I'm a mess. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm sad again. I'm hanging on by a thread. I want to support my husband by attending but I'm also dreading it and want to stay home.
For those of you who still have a relationship with your person, did you attend the plea hearing? Did you attend the sentencing? Are you glad you went, wish you hadn't gone, etc?
Thank you.
My husbands plea hearing is this Thursday and I'm a mess. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm sad again. I'm hanging on by a thread. I want to support my husband by attending but I'm also dreading it and want to stay home.
For those of you who still have a relationship with your person, did you attend the plea hearing? Did you attend the sentencing? Are you glad you went, wish you hadn't gone, etc?
Thank you.
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My husband also has his plea hearing on Thursday and me and my husband's mum will be attending court with him.
Everyone deals with things differently but for me I feel I need to be in court so I know absolutely everything about what is going on.
Xx
Everyone deals with things differently but for me I feel I need to be in court so I know absolutely everything about what is going on.
Xx
7 years ago, I attended the sentencing hearing. I went with our 18 year old daughter - big mistake. The judge read out in detail some of the images he'd been looking at. It was the stuff of hell and nightmares. This time, plea hearing today as it happens, I'll not be attending. You will get the truth if you attend but be warned, it's not pleasant. Xx
Hi PM,
I attended both the plea hearing and was accompanied by our son at sentencing. I am so glad I did both as on each occasion, both the magistrates at plea and the judge at sentencing made strong reference to our family support (not for the offence) but to show we still love and care for my husband. What was really helpful at sentencing was during a recess the barrister was able to explain to our son how easy illegal stuff can be downloaded/uploaded without knowledge, also when the vile comments were printed in the press he was also able to see the difference in what was said in court as opposed to the lies and sensational articles that were published about his Dad. Everyone has different circumstances, we stayed together and are a stronger and more United family. My husband lost friend's, we both lost some extended family on my side but we are 3.5 years post knock now and living a very different but decent life. We have restrictions due to the SOR and SHPO (only internet with the SHPO). It is a difficult decision to make as like others have said you may hear things you never want to hear, I accompanied my husband to every interview with solicitors, probation etc and was extremely fortunate that there was not one surprise or shock in court.
I hope you are able to decide one way or another and wishing you the best and hoping for a positive outcome.
Katie xxx
I attended both the plea hearing and was accompanied by our son at sentencing. I am so glad I did both as on each occasion, both the magistrates at plea and the judge at sentencing made strong reference to our family support (not for the offence) but to show we still love and care for my husband. What was really helpful at sentencing was during a recess the barrister was able to explain to our son how easy illegal stuff can be downloaded/uploaded without knowledge, also when the vile comments were printed in the press he was also able to see the difference in what was said in court as opposed to the lies and sensational articles that were published about his Dad. Everyone has different circumstances, we stayed together and are a stronger and more United family. My husband lost friend's, we both lost some extended family on my side but we are 3.5 years post knock now and living a very different but decent life. We have restrictions due to the SOR and SHPO (only internet with the SHPO). It is a difficult decision to make as like others have said you may hear things you never want to hear, I accompanied my husband to every interview with solicitors, probation etc and was extremely fortunate that there was not one surprise or shock in court.
I hope you are able to decide one way or another and wishing you the best and hoping for a positive outcome.
Katie xxx
I didn't attend either as I would've broken down. It's such a difficult decision to make but I knew what was best for us both at the time. My OH's brother did attend though which was a great help to us both. The judge mentioned the family support in court and also back home. The court date for my husbands sentencing was early September and he got an 18th month suspended sentence for 2 years with the usual SOR and SHPO. Only you know what the right decision for yourself and OH will be and hoping that you both get the best outcome from the hearing and sentencing. Good luck to you both..
No, I essentially kept myself as far from everything as possible. I would talk to him about it at home but I never went anywhere with him or anything - I just know it wouldn't have helped me and I don't regret it. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go with this kind of thing, it really is up to you.
I attended magistrates and crown court for my OH to support him, and will attend his sentencing hearing next month. His solicitor was shocked that I was supporting him and actually said that he should be lucky to have my support because if he had done what my OH had done, his wife would have left him. We are still together and stronger than ever. In fact, we are celebrating being together for 30 years today.
Thank you to all for the replies. I appreciate that you took the time to let me know what worked for you. I am still undecided.
Dawn, happy anniversary!
Dawn, happy anniversary!
Hi all,
I'm not with my ex husband any more we'd split before this but we do have children together.
His pleas hearing should be any day now and I'm on pins waiting for it. I'm undecided if I should go or not. Part of me wants to know the details so I can make informed decision about my children visiting their dad, he also hasn't been honest with me from the start so there's been shocks at every turn for me and I'm not sure I can handle any more.
There's also a caring empathic side of me that worries about him being in court alone with no support as I don't think he'll have any support from anyone else.
This journey really is a roller coaster I never though I'd ever need to be even thinking about things like this. Never mind dealing with them.
Love to all. Xx
I'm not with my ex husband any more we'd split before this but we do have children together.
His pleas hearing should be any day now and I'm on pins waiting for it. I'm undecided if I should go or not. Part of me wants to know the details so I can make informed decision about my children visiting their dad, he also hasn't been honest with me from the start so there's been shocks at every turn for me and I'm not sure I can handle any more.
There's also a caring empathic side of me that worries about him being in court alone with no support as I don't think he'll have any support from anyone else.
This journey really is a roller coaster I never though I'd ever need to be even thinking about things like this. Never mind dealing with them.
Love to all. Xx
Here the same thing!
I don't want to go as OH ( soon divorce from him as file 8 weeks ago myself ) but because we have small children I need to know all the details as per visiting and the future.
I will go to magistrates on the 15th...not idea what I will hear. OH hasn't been honest and claiming he doesn't remember the details on a 3 days comunication with a minor -(....is horrible!!
My kids are at age similar of his offence.
What it will happen in these cases? I presume he will be considered as a risk because similar age of his kids. Do they will be available to spend time alone with him? Would the kids will know about his offence by SS if supervision is outside our home as we are getting divorce.
I'm so scared and broken ???? just thinking about my kids and how he destroyed me and eventually them.
I don't want to go as OH ( soon divorce from him as file 8 weeks ago myself ) but because we have small children I need to know all the details as per visiting and the future.
I will go to magistrates on the 15th...not idea what I will hear. OH hasn't been honest and claiming he doesn't remember the details on a 3 days comunication with a minor -(....is horrible!!
My kids are at age similar of his offence.
What it will happen in these cases? I presume he will be considered as a risk because similar age of his kids. Do they will be available to spend time alone with him? Would the kids will know about his offence by SS if supervision is outside our home as we are getting divorce.
I'm so scared and broken ???? just thinking about my kids and how he destroyed me and eventually them.