Broken - again
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Hi, I accidentally deleted my post the other day.
7 years ago we got the first knock. Married for many years, 4 children, best friends for 30+ years. The shock I will never recover from. He was sent to prison for 3 years, first offence for IIOC. I lost everything. I even became homeless eventually.
I really believed he would never ever put us all through that again. I was so naive. 2 1/2 years ago he was rearrested. He was back in our lives by this point. He was my carer and was helping me with our Autistc son.
Today is his plea hearing. Guilty as charged. Sentencing will be 4/6 weeks later, I guess.
The absolute worst thing for us the first time came 6 weeks post sentencing when I was phoned by the officer in charge as a "courtesy " to tell me that his case, photo, age, crimes, sentence, name and the road we all lived in, was going on the Police social media sites. The fallout was horrendous, particularly for my two younger children. It happened to be half term so they had to return to school with everyone knowing. And I mean everyone because my ex was very very well known in the area and highly regarded. I feel sick to my stomach worrying about this happening again. I live amongst people who will not think before they act, if you know what I mean? I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm broken. I don't know how to cope. I don't know how to help my now 19 year old Autistic child who adores his Dad. After the first knock, I listened and held my little boy as he sobbed and sobbed every single night for his Dad who he wasn't allowed any contact with for 4 years.
I wish I hadn't let him back into our lives. The last 2 1/2 years have been awful waiting for this case to finally to get to court. I'm fully expecting another custodial. Aside from my son, he's all I've got. X. PS. We divorced within the first year but I supported him for my children's sakes. X
7 years ago we got the first knock. Married for many years, 4 children, best friends for 30+ years. The shock I will never recover from. He was sent to prison for 3 years, first offence for IIOC. I lost everything. I even became homeless eventually.
I really believed he would never ever put us all through that again. I was so naive. 2 1/2 years ago he was rearrested. He was back in our lives by this point. He was my carer and was helping me with our Autistc son.
Today is his plea hearing. Guilty as charged. Sentencing will be 4/6 weeks later, I guess.
The absolute worst thing for us the first time came 6 weeks post sentencing when I was phoned by the officer in charge as a "courtesy " to tell me that his case, photo, age, crimes, sentence, name and the road we all lived in, was going on the Police social media sites. The fallout was horrendous, particularly for my two younger children. It happened to be half term so they had to return to school with everyone knowing. And I mean everyone because my ex was very very well known in the area and highly regarded. I feel sick to my stomach worrying about this happening again. I live amongst people who will not think before they act, if you know what I mean? I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm broken. I don't know how to cope. I don't know how to help my now 19 year old Autistic child who adores his Dad. After the first knock, I listened and held my little boy as he sobbed and sobbed every single night for his Dad who he wasn't allowed any contact with for 4 years.
I wish I hadn't let him back into our lives. The last 2 1/2 years have been awful waiting for this case to finally to get to court. I'm fully expecting another custodial. Aside from my son, he's all I've got. X. PS. We divorced within the first year but I supported him for my children's sakes. X
I'm so sorry to read this. I wouldn't say it was naive of you at all to believe he wouldn't do it again after the first time - remember none of this is your fault. I'm sure you and your children will be ok in time, hopefully sooner rather than later x
Sending you strength through this horrible journey we have to go on through no fault of our own. It's so hard and for it to happen again to you must be so hard. My ex father to my children is serving a custodial and my kids have been massively affected by it I have allowed the kids to keep contact with there father through phone calls whilst he is in prison but I do really worry if he will reoffend when he does get released don't think I could cope with the children being part of his life if he does. Just remember you have got through this far and you will do again. Fingers crossed for you that it doesn't get media attention as that's another massive stress on top of everything else. X
Ginluver, my kids were 12, 14, 18 and 19 at the first knock. My younger two weren't allowed any contact with him whatsoever, no visits, no phonecall, no letters. For years. This was every bit as devastating for them as the original crime. I will never forgive SS's for that. My kids were old enough to say they wanted contact with him. About 18 months after the first knock I moved to Italy with my 2 youngest. It was an amazing opportunity but it didn't work out. My daughters so longer speak to me because of that move so I really did lose everything. X
Thanks yellowshell. X
That must have been so devastating for you and so traumatic for your children. Sending you so much strength over these coming months it's so tough.