Fridays check in x
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Afternoon lovlies x
I hope you are all keeping as well as can be
For those of you experiencing court this week that you are keeping strong and looking after yourselves, sending huge hugs xx
Today is HC Birthday he turned 31 , spoke to him in Wednesday he finally got his clothes parcel, he said the clothes smell so good ( surprising as the parcel sat there for almost 2 weeks) he had a little fashion show trying everything on, he said it was like an early Birthday present AWW x he was also actually allowed the duvet set and fitted sheet I sent in the parcel, we wernt sure if he would be given this, Thursday is his clothes wash day he said he couldn't wait to put the new bedding on small things eh
We have a visit tomorrow so no doubt lots of hugs and of course food
Work has been really busy and I had to put in a 16 hour shift Weds , thankfully it dosent happen often , I was able to work from home today just to recharge a bit, (I have a great boss)
The rain has been horrendous hasnt it some places completely flooded (awful)
I hope you all find something nice to do the weekend and remember to do something lovely for yourself
Love sent as always xx
I hope you are all keeping as well as can be
For those of you experiencing court this week that you are keeping strong and looking after yourselves, sending huge hugs xx
Today is HC Birthday he turned 31 , spoke to him in Wednesday he finally got his clothes parcel, he said the clothes smell so good ( surprising as the parcel sat there for almost 2 weeks) he had a little fashion show trying everything on, he said it was like an early Birthday present AWW x he was also actually allowed the duvet set and fitted sheet I sent in the parcel, we wernt sure if he would be given this, Thursday is his clothes wash day he said he couldn't wait to put the new bedding on small things eh
We have a visit tomorrow so no doubt lots of hugs and of course food
Work has been really busy and I had to put in a 16 hour shift Weds , thankfully it dosent happen often , I was able to work from home today just to recharge a bit, (I have a great boss)
The rain has been horrendous hasnt it some places completely flooded (awful)
I hope you all find something nice to do the weekend and remember to do something lovely for yourself
Love sent as always xx
Hi. Can I join check in?
I'm fairly new here. Still dealing with all the feelings of betrayal and disgust, whilst trying to get to grips with my new life of suddenly being a single parent.
My person is not allowed to have contact with me as per bail conditions. It's hard having no information. No explanations. No apologies.
I'm coping but not coping.
Reading the posts on here and knowing I'm not entirely alone (as much as I wouldn't wish this on anyone else) really does help.
I'm fairly new here. Still dealing with all the feelings of betrayal and disgust, whilst trying to get to grips with my new life of suddenly being a single parent.
My person is not allowed to have contact with me as per bail conditions. It's hard having no information. No explanations. No apologies.
I'm coping but not coping.
Reading the posts on here and knowing I'm not entirely alone (as much as I wouldn't wish this on anyone else) really does help.
My second time posting on a Friday check in and I'm feeling much more resilient than a week ago. I'm making positive steps in my own life - a return to regular vigorous exercise is a good sign that I'm not completely in 'survival mode' this week.
On my therapist's advice I have pushed my return to work back another week, to 7th October, and HR are pushing for a very phased return (two half days a week to start with). I've also tried to disentangle myself from 'his' story a bit, as it can consume and define you. Even if for a few days, I've felt like I'm something more than 'just' this traumatised woman.
Sending hugs and hand holds to you all x
On my therapist's advice I have pushed my return to work back another week, to 7th October, and HR are pushing for a very phased return (two half days a week to start with). I've also tried to disentangle myself from 'his' story a bit, as it can consume and define you. Even if for a few days, I've felt like I'm something more than 'just' this traumatised woman.
Sending hugs and hand holds to you all x
Hi Friday ladies (and any male family members stuck in this chaos)
Rubbish week of bereavements (my friends and family not his so thankfully no extra co-ordination or planing needed where he's involved). Me & child are also full of the back to school cold. But plodding through. We've booked a few days away during half term with my family-the cousins and without dad. Dads not allowed a lot of stuff so I'm trying to help my child adapt by booking more stuff with my family so he can slowly get used to it not always being mam, dad and child for everything (like they're used to).
Partner has decided to buy himself a new phone since his was incinerated by the police which I'm not happy about but life is difficult without a smart phone, you can't even park or buy paper bus tickets without an app and all the help and resources are.....online! His new job needs him to login using a phone app too....so.
Still in limbo and dreading Christmas. I'm afraid to book anything I usually would this time of year because o can't do anything too far in advance involving Dad in case he's not allowed, or we need supervision or he's been sentenced, or I'm just so annoyed with him by that point I can't stand to be in the same room without wanting to murder him on the spot.
I've thankfully had a week with no SS meetings or therapy so I'm not as emotionally drained which is good.
Hope you're all managing as the weather starts to be gloomy.
Rubbish week of bereavements (my friends and family not his so thankfully no extra co-ordination or planing needed where he's involved). Me & child are also full of the back to school cold. But plodding through. We've booked a few days away during half term with my family-the cousins and without dad. Dads not allowed a lot of stuff so I'm trying to help my child adapt by booking more stuff with my family so he can slowly get used to it not always being mam, dad and child for everything (like they're used to).
Partner has decided to buy himself a new phone since his was incinerated by the police which I'm not happy about but life is difficult without a smart phone, you can't even park or buy paper bus tickets without an app and all the help and resources are.....online! His new job needs him to login using a phone app too....so.
Still in limbo and dreading Christmas. I'm afraid to book anything I usually would this time of year because o can't do anything too far in advance involving Dad in case he's not allowed, or we need supervision or he's been sentenced, or I'm just so annoyed with him by that point I can't stand to be in the same room without wanting to murder him on the spot.
I've thankfully had a week with no SS meetings or therapy so I'm not as emotionally drained which is good.
Hope you're all managing as the weather starts to be gloomy.
Hi, I'm new here.
im still in limbo unfortunately with no answers from police and struggling with unsupportive family members. It's been a tough week but trying to get through.
sending love. X
im still in limbo unfortunately with no answers from police and struggling with unsupportive family members. It's been a tough week but trying to get through.
sending love. X
Hi to all,especially Upset Mum
These weekly check-ins show us that we are moving forward. The small positives are noted & show us it's baby steps forward. A walk in the outside,a cuddle from a pet,sun on your face. They are all healing. Mine is swimming a km in our local pool or singing with friends.
My small plus is that my son has been allowed to do some work 'making fish bags!' Out of his cell with others. He treats it very seriously & I'm sure is a hard worker. He also goes to chapel & although severely dyslexic,reads the lesson.
A huge plus today,is that his sister says she will visit with other sister & may come home on the day of sentencing but not attend court. They seem to want to support & look after us while 'escaping' to their own lives & careers. I don't want it to blight them too.
Here's to a good weekend & big hugs to those who are struggling.
These weekly check-ins show us that we are moving forward. The small positives are noted & show us it's baby steps forward. A walk in the outside,a cuddle from a pet,sun on your face. They are all healing. Mine is swimming a km in our local pool or singing with friends.
My small plus is that my son has been allowed to do some work 'making fish bags!' Out of his cell with others. He treats it very seriously & I'm sure is a hard worker. He also goes to chapel & although severely dyslexic,reads the lesson.
A huge plus today,is that his sister says she will visit with other sister & may come home on the day of sentencing but not attend court. They seem to want to support & look after us while 'escaping' to their own lives & careers. I don't want it to blight them too.
Here's to a good weekend & big hugs to those who are struggling.
My first Friday check in
It's been a funny old week. It was our 3rd wedding anniversary (although we've been together almost 20 years) so it's been a bit emotional.
Only 6 weeks into this hell hole and just when I think I'm coping, something innocuous happens and I find I'm crying again. I don't let him see me in my bleak moments as he's got enough to deal with mentally, without me breaking down too.
He's just been signed off work for another 2 months which will take us past his first bail date, although I'm expecting this to be extended.
He got a new phone this week and like someone else said, I too feel very nervous, but not having one made life so stressful. Everything relies on an app these days. I don't think he would be so stupid as to use it for anything untoward but that thought is always there, and I guess it always will be now.
I'm still waking up every night and am unable to get back to sleep - that seems to be when all the worries and stress hits me - I've always been an over thinker and it's a curse!
Hoping everyone has as good a weekend as they can given their own particular circumstances, and hugs to all xx
It's been a funny old week. It was our 3rd wedding anniversary (although we've been together almost 20 years) so it's been a bit emotional.
Only 6 weeks into this hell hole and just when I think I'm coping, something innocuous happens and I find I'm crying again. I don't let him see me in my bleak moments as he's got enough to deal with mentally, without me breaking down too.
He's just been signed off work for another 2 months which will take us past his first bail date, although I'm expecting this to be extended.
He got a new phone this week and like someone else said, I too feel very nervous, but not having one made life so stressful. Everything relies on an app these days. I don't think he would be so stupid as to use it for anything untoward but that thought is always there, and I guess it always will be now.
I'm still waking up every night and am unable to get back to sleep - that seems to be when all the worries and stress hits me - I've always been an over thinker and it's a curse!
Hoping everyone has as good a weekend as they can given their own particular circumstances, and hugs to all xx
Evening all x
It has been a week of ups and downs. On Monday I was called into a meeting at work with the principal and school business manager, they wanted an update with what what was happening with my OH even though I update the principal when I have something to update her own. Think the meeting was triggered because we had a family fun event at work last Saturday - my OH didn't come to the event but dropped me off and picked me up so was in the car park. We were in a public place and he wasn't left alone. My OH takes me to work some days and now he isn't allowed on the premises, even though he has been for the past 20 months and never gets out the car- he has to drop me at the gate.
On Tuesday he had a meeting with probation and came away feeling more positive, but then yesterday he was down again and said what happens if the judge wants to make an example out of him. It was also our 30th anniversary on Tuesday and we went out for a meal to a local pub. Was very nice and there was an added touch when one of the songs that was played was our song from 1994 (Wet Wet Wet Love is all around).
Today our youngest daughter is poorly and has had to be at home on her own as I was at work and she's under 18 so my OH couldn't be at home with her
It has been a week of ups and downs. On Monday I was called into a meeting at work with the principal and school business manager, they wanted an update with what what was happening with my OH even though I update the principal when I have something to update her own. Think the meeting was triggered because we had a family fun event at work last Saturday - my OH didn't come to the event but dropped me off and picked me up so was in the car park. We were in a public place and he wasn't left alone. My OH takes me to work some days and now he isn't allowed on the premises, even though he has been for the past 20 months and never gets out the car- he has to drop me at the gate.
On Tuesday he had a meeting with probation and came away feeling more positive, but then yesterday he was down again and said what happens if the judge wants to make an example out of him. It was also our 30th anniversary on Tuesday and we went out for a meal to a local pub. Was very nice and there was an added touch when one of the songs that was played was our song from 1994 (Wet Wet Wet Love is all around).
Today our youngest daughter is poorly and has had to be at home on her own as I was at work and she's under 18 so my OH couldn't be at home with her
Evening Friday check in
This week hasn't been too bad, had my third session with a new counsellor. She has helped me so much with only a few sessions. OH was to be sentenced this week but it's been moved, I fully expecting my family to call me to ask what the outcome was. Well, im still angry with them about the way they treated me during the 'family meeting', they made it clear that OH is no longer part of the family. Fine, fully understand that but they can't expected to ask me any details about OH. They can't have it both ways!
Hope everyone has a restful weekend xxx
This week hasn't been too bad, had my third session with a new counsellor. She has helped me so much with only a few sessions. OH was to be sentenced this week but it's been moved, I fully expecting my family to call me to ask what the outcome was. Well, im still angry with them about the way they treated me during the 'family meeting', they made it clear that OH is no longer part of the family. Fine, fully understand that but they can't expected to ask me any details about OH. They can't have it both ways!
Hope everyone has a restful weekend xxx
Hi everyone. I haven't posted for a while in Friday check-ins but I usually try to keep up with the news (and of course how much HC has eaten!).
However, I thought I would post about something that happened at work this week. I attended a training course - it was remotely delivered so I was safe in my own home in obscurity - but the topic briefly touched on software used by the police and the lady delivering the course said to catch "the p word". I had to stop myself from (a) saying anything at that point and (b) not writing to her afterwards about the use of that word. However I decided I didn't want to draw attention to myself as being emotionally involved in any way towards that topic. It just made me cross and somehow the public attitude has to change. But I know this is a huge obstacle to overcome. It wouldn't even have crossed my mind had this not happened to me.
Hoping for a quiet weekend. Bit of Strictly, bit of wine and yesterday's "All Creatures Great and Small" to catch up with.
Love to all x
However, I thought I would post about something that happened at work this week. I attended a training course - it was remotely delivered so I was safe in my own home in obscurity - but the topic briefly touched on software used by the police and the lady delivering the course said to catch "the p word". I had to stop myself from (a) saying anything at that point and (b) not writing to her afterwards about the use of that word. However I decided I didn't want to draw attention to myself as being emotionally involved in any way towards that topic. It just made me cross and somehow the public attitude has to change. But I know this is a huge obstacle to overcome. It wouldn't even have crossed my mind had this not happened to me.
Hoping for a quiet weekend. Bit of Strictly, bit of wine and yesterday's "All Creatures Great and Small" to catch up with.
Love to all x
Good evening Friday Check in,
This last week for me has just flown by and seeing the Christmas decorations appearing in the shops makes me realise that the last 9 months just seem to have disappeared.
Today my car failed the MOT but fortunately I'm on holiday from work next week so am not reliant on it. The problem is that I have absolutely no interest in cars so tend to buy one and keep it forever until it's falling apart even when my OH and the garage are telling me it's time to trade it in for a newer one. Hopefully by leaving it at the garage they'll be able to get it road worthy again.
My son had his 3rd Horizon course session this week and came home feeling quite upbeat which is positive.
Tomorrow i'm spending the day with 2 of my grandchildren whilst their parents go to a wedding and on Sunday all 5 Grandchildren with us for the day celebrating one of their birthdays.
Today I saw a sign saying, 'this family is one tent away from a full blown circus' it made me chuckle as it described my beautiful family so well.
This last week for me has just flown by and seeing the Christmas decorations appearing in the shops makes me realise that the last 9 months just seem to have disappeared.
Today my car failed the MOT but fortunately I'm on holiday from work next week so am not reliant on it. The problem is that I have absolutely no interest in cars so tend to buy one and keep it forever until it's falling apart even when my OH and the garage are telling me it's time to trade it in for a newer one. Hopefully by leaving it at the garage they'll be able to get it road worthy again.
My son had his 3rd Horizon course session this week and came home feeling quite upbeat which is positive.
Tomorrow i'm spending the day with 2 of my grandchildren whilst their parents go to a wedding and on Sunday all 5 Grandchildren with us for the day celebrating one of their birthdays.
Today I saw a sign saying, 'this family is one tent away from a full blown circus' it made me chuckle as it described my beautiful family so well.
Hey folks
I have been reading but not contributing, my daughter has been doing tests at school and excelling as always 3 subject 100% and the other subject this week 86% beyond proud of her, she still attends the private psychologist but only when she feels the need too she doesn't really bring up the knock or court anymore she is focused on her schoolwork, school also arranged a mentor for her which has been a real help too her, her and her dad's relationship is the best it's been in a very long time. Oh went for a promotion at work this week and got the job he has only been in the job 6 months and came so far, completed his community service, supervision is now monthly and can expect one more visit from the police before conviction is spent, they are both doing amazing so proud of them.
Have a great weekend folks and hope this little story sends you hope for your loved ones xx
I have been reading but not contributing, my daughter has been doing tests at school and excelling as always 3 subject 100% and the other subject this week 86% beyond proud of her, she still attends the private psychologist but only when she feels the need too she doesn't really bring up the knock or court anymore she is focused on her schoolwork, school also arranged a mentor for her which has been a real help too her, her and her dad's relationship is the best it's been in a very long time. Oh went for a promotion at work this week and got the job he has only been in the job 6 months and came so far, completed his community service, supervision is now monthly and can expect one more visit from the police before conviction is spent, they are both doing amazing so proud of them.
Have a great weekend folks and hope this little story sends you hope for your loved ones xx
Hello, Friday check-in,
Welcome to the newcomers and first time posters. I'm so sorry you are here but so glad you found us.
It was a stressful week here, my husband pled guilty on Thursday and now we have a sentencing date of November 15th. I had to take a few days off work to get through it and I'm sure I'll have to take more in the future. The good news is I'm learning when I need to be kind to myself and slow down.
Today my son was in a volleyball tournament and I spent the day cheering him on. It was fun to watch but also hard to be around a bunch of teenagers because of what my husband was looking at. I'm sure that's a common feeling on here.
Welcome to the newcomers and first time posters. I'm so sorry you are here but so glad you found us.
It was a stressful week here, my husband pled guilty on Thursday and now we have a sentencing date of November 15th. I had to take a few days off work to get through it and I'm sure I'll have to take more in the future. The good news is I'm learning when I need to be kind to myself and slow down.
Today my son was in a volleyball tournament and I spent the day cheering him on. It was fun to watch but also hard to be around a bunch of teenagers because of what my husband was looking at. I'm sure that's a common feeling on here.
Hi All.....
Gosh, how sad, so many first contributors to our check in this Friday, but you've found us - we are here for you and glad to help.
can I wish HC a very happy birthday - which I'm sure the highlight will be your visit Upset, perhaps an extra treat or two, if there's room left!!!!!!
My boy is good, yesterday was a very jovial phone call and did we laugh! Hearing his laughter makes me buzz. It gives me hope for his future. I am proud (certainly not of what he did or being in prison) but how he's faced it all head on with strength and any dignity he has left.
As for me, yep all ok and week good. Not a lot to report really.
So keep strong my friends xxxxx
Gosh, how sad, so many first contributors to our check in this Friday, but you've found us - we are here for you and glad to help.
can I wish HC a very happy birthday - which I'm sure the highlight will be your visit Upset, perhaps an extra treat or two, if there's room left!!!!!!
My boy is good, yesterday was a very jovial phone call and did we laugh! Hearing his laughter makes me buzz. It gives me hope for his future. I am proud (certainly not of what he did or being in prison) but how he's faced it all head on with strength and any dignity he has left.
As for me, yep all ok and week good. Not a lot to report really.
So keep strong my friends xxxxx
Hi everyone and hugs to all that need them...
I've had a manic week at work (but then, I work in education - when ISN'T it manic!?!)
As expected, my son was given jail time... 16 months. I know that it's all his own doing, but I can't help feeling sad. He's so young (and mentally a lot younger, which has been acknowledged by everyone involved with his case since the beginning) and of course, despite how angry I was when I first found my way here, he's still my little boy...
Hopefully we'll be able to arrange a visit now we're in touch with him. I'll work out how we can send some money across to him so he can phone us (he probably won't as he's rubbish at stuff like that) and find out what we can send to him...
God, it sucks, doesn't it? All this learning far more about the legal and prison system than we ever wanted to know...
I've had a manic week at work (but then, I work in education - when ISN'T it manic!?!)
As expected, my son was given jail time... 16 months. I know that it's all his own doing, but I can't help feeling sad. He's so young (and mentally a lot younger, which has been acknowledged by everyone involved with his case since the beginning) and of course, despite how angry I was when I first found my way here, he's still my little boy...
Hopefully we'll be able to arrange a visit now we're in touch with him. I'll work out how we can send some money across to him so he can phone us (he probably won't as he's rubbish at stuff like that) and find out what we can send to him...
God, it sucks, doesn't it? All this learning far more about the legal and prison system than we ever wanted to know...
Hi all
Apart from the awful weather the week has been a good one. It's amazing how we all just 'get on' with life. I remember this time last year when we were about two weeks into this situation and life looked so bleak. I remember strictly starting on the tv. A show I love but I couldn't watch it as it just felt too jolly and I felt so broken. Fast forward a year and yes we're still in this awful mess but I've got my wine ready to watch strictly tonight.
I'm certain we've still got tougher times to come but trying to make the most of things. And today the sun is shining xx
Apart from the awful weather the week has been a good one. It's amazing how we all just 'get on' with life. I remember this time last year when we were about two weeks into this situation and life looked so bleak. I remember strictly starting on the tv. A show I love but I couldn't watch it as it just felt too jolly and I felt so broken. Fast forward a year and yes we're still in this awful mess but I've got my wine ready to watch strictly tonight.
I'm certain we've still got tougher times to come but trying to make the most of things. And today the sun is shining xx
Just x
Please you dont need to ask lovely and thank you for posting x
As hard as this journey is we are all here to support each other
Here is a space we can talk as much as we want about how we are keeping and to remember how incredibly strong we are even when it doesn't feel like it xx
Please you dont need to ask lovely and thank you for posting x
As hard as this journey is we are all here to support each other
Here is a space we can talk as much as we want about how we are keeping and to remember how incredibly strong we are even when it doesn't feel like it xx
Lisa x
Ahh amazing well done you, it's also great that your work is giving you some much needed support,
Keep focused on what you are doing it is so important to remember you , an incredibly strong person xx
Ahh amazing well done you, it's also great that your work is giving you some much needed support,
Keep focused on what you are doing it is so important to remember you , an incredibly strong person xx
Devastated Mum
I have messaged you . So sorry to hear that you will also be a prison 'visitor'. Sadly you get used to it.
Happy Saturday to all. X
I have messaged you . So sorry to hear that you will also be a prison 'visitor'. Sadly you get used to it.
Happy Saturday to all. X
Holding x
I am so sorry to hear what you have had to cope with this journey is hard enough xx
Deffinatly try to do something for you just to recharge a bit lovely
Huge hugs sent xx
I am so sorry to hear what you have had to cope with this journey is hard enough xx
Deffinatly try to do something for you just to recharge a bit lovely
Huge hugs sent xx
Devastated
Ahh I am so sorry your son was given a custodial it's so difficult isnt it
He will be looked after and will be safe , it dosent stop the worry, you will be able to get visits sorted, the prison will at some point call you and hopefully your son will phone soon x
If you need any help or anything please feel free to message me x hugs xx
Ahh I am so sorry your son was given a custodial it's so difficult isnt it
He will be looked after and will be safe , it dosent stop the worry, you will be able to get visits sorted, the prison will at some point call you and hopefully your son will phone soon x
If you need any help or anything please feel free to message me x hugs xx
This is my first Friday check in post, although it is Saturday! We're 3 weeks into our journey, with a visit from social services yesterday to start the assessment process allow my OH to see our son, and his step- daughter. I'm tired of trying to be strong but reading your posts, advice and support, and knowing that I'm not alone really helps so thank you xx
A bit late to check in with you all this week but I hope that the HC had a good birthday and I have no doubt that your visit was a highlight Upset !!!- what was the food list like ??
sad to see so many new people on here but please know that you're not alone we are all here to help and support you xxx
sad to see so many new people on here but please know that you're not alone we are all here to help and support you xxx