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What needs to be proved for charges to be brought

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Frankie

Member since
September 2024

7 posts

Posted Mon September 30, 2024 4:39pmReport post

This weekend the police knocked on my front door and arrested my husband for online sexual activity with a minor.

In the past, I have caught him using chat rooms to talk to other women, so that he was using chat rooms again wasn't a huge surprise. (Let's not get into that now.)

He told me when he came home from the police station that he had been back online and had engaged in a role-playing chat where the other person said they would dress as a naughty school girl. He swears to me he had no idea/no clue the other person was underage.

He's now spoken to a solicitor who seems to think it was all part of a police sting and they will likely charge him and it will go to crown court where he may receive a 9-month prison sentence.

Things aren't adding up for me and I thought there needed to be proof he knew or at least should have known (through comments made by the person on the other side) that he was talking to a minor? If didn't know/there were no clues, how can they charge him?

This is all so confusing and I know the police have to do their job, I just have so many questions.

lostinthewoods

Member since
September 2024

24 posts

Posted Mon September 30, 2024 4:50pmReport post

Oh Frankie your situation sounds so much like mine! My husband swears he didn't know the person was underage but it was there in black and white in the conversation screenshots that the police showed him in interview. He too had been engaging with women online, due to low self esteem and depression. Given the nature of the platform he was using, messages can be set to disappear once read, so it's completely feasible that he sadly missed that particular bit of information.
The DS advised him to be honest in interview, which he was.
We are now awaiting the outcome of forensics on his digital equipment (I assume to check for IIOC) and he is on bail.

I assume for you, it will depend on whether the age was disclosed.

thinking of you x

Frankie

Member since
September 2024

7 posts

Posted Mon September 30, 2024 7:03pmReport post

Thank you so much, Lost in the Woods.

I do feel like there is something my husband isn't telling me, although he swears there isn't.

His phone has also been seized, but he says there's nothing for them to find in terms of IIOC, which I do believe.

He seems convinced he's going to be charged, although it's very early days yet.

I think not understanding the intricacies and the subtelties is what's driving me slightly mad.

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

34 posts

Posted Tue October 1, 2024 11:21amReport post

Hi Frankie,

Really sorry you find yourself a part of this horrible journey. I'd speak to a solicitor about this for real insight.

Essentially, with a sexual communication offence it needs to be proved that there was some "reasonable" knowledge that the person was over-16. If they said they were under-16 in the conversation logs or there is contextual chat relating to "school" or something like that, it will be used to show that a reasonable person would have realised the person was underage. If there is no evidence of age at all, then it might not be charged since it couldn't be shown that your person had "intent" to engage with a minor in this way.

Frankie

Member since
September 2024

7 posts

Posted Tue October 1, 2024 12:37pmReport post

Thanks so much for replying, Losing It.

Since I posted this, he's told me that the person on the other end gave an age. However, since he was engaging in a school-girl fantasy, he believed it was all part of it. He didn't at any point believe the person on the other end was under 16.

I don't know whether that makes it better or worse, but it probably does mean he'll be charged.

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

34 posts

Posted Tue October 1, 2024 2:23pmReport post

I think unless someone hasn't said "let's roleplay" then I think you should prepare for that eventuality. It always boils down to "would a reasonable preson have assumed roleplay" given the information available?

My friend is in a similar situation via snapchat. But there is no sexual conversation at all. Just a picture sent accidentially to someone added via "quick add" (it went to multiple accounts on snapchat, all the others are adult acquaintances whom he sexts regularly) and then when it became obvious this was sent to an account it wasn't meant to go to they were immediately apologised to and blocked. Statement of the person on the receiving end supports this so it looks like they'll examine phone and if no other evidence is found then they can't charge because there is no clear intent. Fingers crossed anyway.

But I accept that most instances don't look like this and involve police decoys etc with lots of sexualised chat. Wishing you the very best of luck.

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

34 posts

Posted Tue October 1, 2024 2:25pmReport post

Have to say, I'm terrified of social media apps and chat apps now. Want nothing to do with them.