The lack of support
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When I was at his sentencing, his guilty plea, and his willingness to undertake rehabilitation was, as I understand it, the reason for his suspended sentence.
He has been going to his meetings with his probation officer, each time, believing that he would meet with a counceler.
This was very important to me. I NEED for him to get this help. I cannot continue to stay with him without some understanding of how this HORROR that is now my life came to be.
Now they have said, therapy has such a long waiting list, he is on his own.
Can anyone please help?
He has been going to his meetings with his probation officer, each time, believing that he would meet with a counceler.
This was very important to me. I NEED for him to get this help. I cannot continue to stay with him without some understanding of how this HORROR that is now my life came to be.
Now they have said, therapy has such a long waiting list, he is on his own.
Can anyone please help?
We paid for a private therapist as we're now I months past sentencing a suicide attempt and still on waiting list, the therapist has been worth every penny for all our sakes
We paid for private therapy with a local psychotherapist. Appointments were all face to face and worth every penny of the money spent.
Thanks for responding.
Can you please tell me what private therapy might cost? We are not high earners.
Can you please tell me what private therapy might cost? We are not high earners.
Hello! We also paid for a private therapist through StopSo, and for us, it was the best decision we made since the knock.
We have weekly meetings, sometimes as a couple, and other times individually. We currently pay £80. Since my OH lost his job, we are now both attending as a couple since the cost is the same.
I just wanted to share that, for us, it was a bit difficult to find a therapist. My OH saw 2 private therapists I found online, but he had a very stressful and upsetting experience. It was just a few days after the knock, and he was still in shock. The therapist kept insisting that he share everything in that session and that he was lying by saying he could not remember everything. It was a very sad and scaring experience and he felt very judged. But I saw many people talking about StopSo and couldn’t be more grateful with the therapist they found us he has been amazing. He to us that they explained that they receive special training for working with people who have committed these offenses.
We have weekly meetings, sometimes as a couple, and other times individually. We currently pay £80. Since my OH lost his job, we are now both attending as a couple since the cost is the same.
I just wanted to share that, for us, it was a bit difficult to find a therapist. My OH saw 2 private therapists I found online, but he had a very stressful and upsetting experience. It was just a few days after the knock, and he was still in shock. The therapist kept insisting that he share everything in that session and that he was lying by saying he could not remember everything. It was a very sad and scaring experience and he felt very judged. But I saw many people talking about StopSo and couldn’t be more grateful with the therapist they found us he has been amazing. He to us that they explained that they receive special training for working with people who have committed these offenses.
Galaxy123, do you mind me asking how you approached doing the therapy as a couple. Did you tell the therapist from the start it'd sometimes be both of you? Or did you have to let them know week by week or did you just both go? Sorry such a random question. I just know I need to work through some things with my person at some point too.
Hello Lost! It was the first thing I asked the therapist over the phone. I was looking for advice on whether we should have individual or couples sessions. It was few weeks after the knock so I really needed some help too. He suggested that it was a decision my partner and I needed to make together, but mentioned that after the first session, he'd be able to provide more guidance. We chose to start with individual sessions for a few months because I was very upset and confused and wanted privacy to process my feelings. Then we decided to have a couples session to discuss what we wanted moving forward and we kept those and they are helping alot.
For us, it helped to first work on ourselves individually with the therapist and then come together. Sometimes I struggle to express how much pain and unsecured I feel without making my partner feel bad, and the therapist helps communicate those feelings. I am sure you guys will find the best way for you xxx
Now that we know our therapist quite well we tell him after each session if it will be both or one of us going
For us, it helped to first work on ourselves individually with the therapist and then come together. Sometimes I struggle to express how much pain and unsecured I feel without making my partner feel bad, and the therapist helps communicate those feelings. I am sure you guys will find the best way for you xxx
Now that we know our therapist quite well we tell him after each session if it will be both or one of us going
We paid £60 an hour for private therapy.
My son paid £50 per session as he was on Universal Credit.
Oh my gosh, I expect many many people on this forum (and others who have lived this horrific experience but not engaged with the forum) can totally empathise with your feelings.
The feelings of loneliness, isolation, shock, trauma, grief, stigma, shame, hurt and rage forced upon us are extreme, and like no other. But you are not alone.
Also, as well as this forum and LFF, when you feel the time is right for you, you and your person may find it useful to explore some of the below:
Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.
Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.
SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.
Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.
StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.
Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.
The feelings of loneliness, isolation, shock, trauma, grief, stigma, shame, hurt and rage forced upon us are extreme, and like no other. But you are not alone.
Also, as well as this forum and LFF, when you feel the time is right for you, you and your person may find it useful to explore some of the below:
Acts Fast: support for families of children who have experienced or been impacted by child sexual abuse or assault. Advice, support and counselling for adults who have accessed IIOC and their families.
Circles UK: focussed on reducing sex offending in partnership with criminal justice agencies. Customised restorative work to address harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist support for those with intellectual disabilities and/or autism spectrum conditions. Risk and safeguarding courses for families, and specialist therapy and counselling.
SAA: a programme and safe place to address and heal from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours.
Safer Lives: specialist and individual support, advice and guidance, focussed on welfare and mental strength and wellbeing for offenders and their families. Therapeutic, practical and educational expertise.
StopSO: specialist support and therapy for those concerned about their thoughts or behaviour, and for those impacted by the behaviour of others.
Talking Forward: facilitated peer support for people impacted by a family member or friend who has engaged with online CSA. Part of a group committed to research into and understanding of online offending.
My husband is in therapy now but the wait was so long that he started going to twelve step meetings (sex addicts anonymous). It was very helpful for him. He now does both therapy and SAA. He has said he will go for the rest of his life. Honestly, it is basically group therapy and low/no cost.
Im sorry that you have to go to this.
I think you will be trap doing couple teraphy for sex addiction. While is important to understand that all comes from addiction, going together is like United in one front...is putting you in a very vulnerable taking decision point...remember you are the victim here and not him.
My OH proposed the same thing. Initially I felt sorry for him and the same I don't have the money for theraphy. Luckily there is more help for them for free than for us. He just need to search. My OH got twice a week groups and free theraphy.
If you need free theraphy, I will recommend to go to your GP and refer to post traumatic symptoms. They will do the referral to NHS mental health and is free. I'm doing it and is MY SPACE, MY STORY, without carrying his dirty bags and on top of that doing it together....for me is a no no!!
Sorry if I'm hash on this ....but if you want to heal i think you shall have your space where you can let the anger, the pain and the trauma.
Of course that is for me !!
I think you will be trap doing couple teraphy for sex addiction. While is important to understand that all comes from addiction, going together is like United in one front...is putting you in a very vulnerable taking decision point...remember you are the victim here and not him.
My OH proposed the same thing. Initially I felt sorry for him and the same I don't have the money for theraphy. Luckily there is more help for them for free than for us. He just need to search. My OH got twice a week groups and free theraphy.
If you need free theraphy, I will recommend to go to your GP and refer to post traumatic symptoms. They will do the referral to NHS mental health and is free. I'm doing it and is MY SPACE, MY STORY, without carrying his dirty bags and on top of that doing it together....for me is a no no!!
Sorry if I'm hash on this ....but if you want to heal i think you shall have your space where you can let the anger, the pain and the trauma.
Of course that is for me !!