Having a second child with a SO
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Hi all.
long time no post!
myself and my husband are contemplating having a second child. And I'm wondering what if any involvement we will have to have with SS!
Background: husband convinced of 2 online communication offences. 2 years suspended (now completed) plus a total of 10year SOR and SHPO.
I was pregnant at the time of husbands arrest with first child.
from day 1 we worked brilliant with SS. He never had to move out and in the end when daughter was 18 months case was closed with zero restrictions on hubby in regards to daughter. Also had a assessment done which said he was of no risk to his children.
So, if I were to have another child now - would we automatically be referred to SS? If we were, could I ask them to contact old SS (we have moved out of the county we were originally in!) to see what was done and then ask that we do not have involvement? I don't want another pregnancy where I'm having to meet with SS all the time ect. Plus if he was of no risk before - having a second child should not increase any risk.
my biggest fear is them opening a new case and distributing the life we have now built. Things like my daughters nursery - they don't know anything about my husband and I would like it to stay that way as otherwise if they start to refuse him to pick up our daughter it would be a huge issue. I also feel it would be so unnecessary and stressful - which I really don't want.
any thoughts and advise is so welcome!
long time no post!
myself and my husband are contemplating having a second child. And I'm wondering what if any involvement we will have to have with SS!
Background: husband convinced of 2 online communication offences. 2 years suspended (now completed) plus a total of 10year SOR and SHPO.
I was pregnant at the time of husbands arrest with first child.
from day 1 we worked brilliant with SS. He never had to move out and in the end when daughter was 18 months case was closed with zero restrictions on hubby in regards to daughter. Also had a assessment done which said he was of no risk to his children.
So, if I were to have another child now - would we automatically be referred to SS? If we were, could I ask them to contact old SS (we have moved out of the county we were originally in!) to see what was done and then ask that we do not have involvement? I don't want another pregnancy where I'm having to meet with SS all the time ect. Plus if he was of no risk before - having a second child should not increase any risk.
my biggest fear is them opening a new case and distributing the life we have now built. Things like my daughters nursery - they don't know anything about my husband and I would like it to stay that way as otherwise if they start to refuse him to pick up our daughter it would be a huge issue. I also feel it would be so unnecessary and stressful - which I really don't want.
any thoughts and advise is so welcome!
Hi,
I'm not entirely sure, because if they were happy before, and closing the case it might just be a quick check and then re-close? But i'm not too sure, Sorry. - And totally get the worry for them potentially disturbing everything. Its so frustrating!
Did they say anything when closing, that potentially they would become re-involved should you have another child?
You got a positive outcome from them though initially. Would you mind sharing which area ish you're in? As our local authority are saying really quite different, to us. Which is crazy that they can vary so much?!
I hope you're doing ok. Sorry i havent been much help.
X
I'm not entirely sure, because if they were happy before, and closing the case it might just be a quick check and then re-close? But i'm not too sure, Sorry. - And totally get the worry for them potentially disturbing everything. Its so frustrating!
Did they say anything when closing, that potentially they would become re-involved should you have another child?
You got a positive outcome from them though initially. Would you mind sharing which area ish you're in? As our local authority are saying really quite different, to us. Which is crazy that they can vary so much?!
I hope you're doing ok. Sorry i havent been much help.
X
Hi.
That's my hope too but the difference in local authorities is what worries me. Honestly I might even contact our current LA to see what they say about what they would do if we had another child and get all the information ready for another LA!
yes I'm happy to share we were in Essex and we are moving to the midlands.
I will say we did have to do a lot of work to get to where we are with SS. Lots of expense too for courses, assessments, therapy ect.
That's my hope too but the difference in local authorities is what worries me. Honestly I might even contact our current LA to see what they say about what they would do if we had another child and get all the information ready for another LA!
yes I'm happy to share we were in Essex and we are moving to the midlands.
I will say we did have to do a lot of work to get to where we are with SS. Lots of expense too for courses, assessments, therapy ect.
It varies from case to case.
I fell pregnant with our 3rd child while my husband was under investigation for iioc.
I had to disclose previous ss involvement to the booking midwife.
Social Services strangely never got in touch with me.
There's another lady on here whose husband was under investigation for the same thing. She fell pregnant around the same time as me with her 2nd child.
Social Services have treated her absolutely awful, taking her to PLO and to court, trying to remove her newborn from the hospital.
In the end she was able to take the baby back home, but social workers are still attempting to remove the baby from her.
I'm not telling you this to scare you, I just want to say that there's absolutely no way to predict how social Services will react.
But if you want a 2nd child, definitely go for it xxx You'll make it work
I fell pregnant with our 3rd child while my husband was under investigation for iioc.
I had to disclose previous ss involvement to the booking midwife.
Social Services strangely never got in touch with me.
There's another lady on here whose husband was under investigation for the same thing. She fell pregnant around the same time as me with her 2nd child.
Social Services have treated her absolutely awful, taking her to PLO and to court, trying to remove her newborn from the hospital.
In the end she was able to take the baby back home, but social workers are still attempting to remove the baby from her.
I'm not telling you this to scare you, I just want to say that there's absolutely no way to predict how social Services will react.
But if you want a 2nd child, definitely go for it xxx You'll make it work
I'm thinking that because legally everything is concluded for my husband - he's not even on licence any more. And because we have already had SS involved and case closed then I think it would probably be ok. Because there really couldn't be any legal standing they could use.
im scared. But I guess I can't live in fear forever!
thanks ladies.
im scared. But I guess I can't live in fear forever!
thanks ladies.
That's me. (I think!)
We are in care proceedings as LA want to remove my children from my care.
It would be natural think there must be more to my situation but there was nothing other than husbands convinction of possession iioc for proceedings to be issued.
We are pending assesments and children are having professionally supervised contact in contact centre.
I hope you have an easy journey with SS and enjoyable, healthy pregnancy if you do go for baby 2.0.
We are in care proceedings as LA want to remove my children from my care.
It would be natural think there must be more to my situation but there was nothing other than husbands convinction of possession iioc for proceedings to be issued.
We are pending assesments and children are having professionally supervised contact in contact centre.
I hope you have an easy journey with SS and enjoyable, healthy pregnancy if you do go for baby 2.0.