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So today my son received a 2 year sentence 1 year custodial and 1 on licence. The judge was appalling calling him the P word and not taking his previous child abuse and all the work he has done with counselling with a stopso therapist and safer lives. Also a brilliant probation report recommended a community order Had we not had a brilliant barrister/solicitor who has been with us from the knock 3 years 4 months ago the sentence the judge was considering would have been far worse. My heart is broken and I'm so worried for him. The judge was a disgrace but if we appeal it will cost a fortune and will take almost as long as his sentence. I have been so grateful for this forum it has helped me so much. I wish I had better news I'm worrying about how son will cope with ASD in prison and his safety.
Hi WorriedMum
I am so sorry to hear of your son's sentence.
My 29 year old son is also neuro divergent & has been on remand for 8 months. Awaiting sentence in 6 weeks.
He has managed well in prison. Once cleared through the initial reception wing,he was put in a Vulnerable Prisoners Wing (VP)
He was put in a cell with a very supportive prisoner who 'showed him the ropes'. I was terrified that he was being exploited but I don't think it's the case. Sadly/strangely,he has friends for the first time. Most prisoners will keep to themselves & try not to draw attention to themselves.
Henow occupies himself making matchstick models, going to the gym @ weekends,doing some menial bag packing to earn meagre wage & has also attended the chapel.
Most important is get his prison id number
Please pm me if you have any further questions.
I am so sorry to hear of your son's sentence.
My 29 year old son is also neuro divergent & has been on remand for 8 months. Awaiting sentence in 6 weeks.
He has managed well in prison. Once cleared through the initial reception wing,he was put in a Vulnerable Prisoners Wing (VP)
He was put in a cell with a very supportive prisoner who 'showed him the ropes'. I was terrified that he was being exploited but I don't think it's the case. Sadly/strangely,he has friends for the first time. Most prisoners will keep to themselves & try not to draw attention to themselves.
Henow occupies himself making matchstick models, going to the gym @ weekends,doing some menial bag packing to earn meagre wage & has also attended the chapel.
Most important is get his prison id number
Please pm me if you have any further questions.
I’m so sorry to hear this news. I’m thinking of you and sending you lot of strength, love and support!
Hello Worriedmum
I am so sorry to hear your news and I am thinking of you and your son.
I don't know if this helps at all ( and you may already been aware of this charity anyway) but I thought you may find looking at the Prison Reform Trust website useful, maybe. They have a helpline for families and I thought they may be of help as you try and navigate the days ahead.
Take care of yourself, the best you can.
I am so sorry to hear your news and I am thinking of you and your son.
I don't know if this helps at all ( and you may already been aware of this charity anyway) but I thought you may find looking at the Prison Reform Trust website useful, maybe. They have a helpline for families and I thought they may be of help as you try and navigate the days ahead.
Take care of yourself, the best you can.
Hi,
I'm sorry that the judge didn't take into account the work your son has done and went against the probation report.
Be kind to yourself over the next few days while you're processing what has happened and waiting for news from your son. Hopefully you'll hear from him soon. Lots of love xxx
I'm sorry that the judge didn't take into account the work your son has done and went against the probation report.
Be kind to yourself over the next few days while you're processing what has happened and waiting for news from your son. Hopefully you'll hear from him soon. Lots of love xxx
I'm so sorry to read this, it must feel like your worst nightmare has come true. Its very sad that the judge didn't take into account all the work your son has done on himself but that work hasn't been for nothing as your son will have gained insight and understanding from it.
Self care is going to be important for you as you wait to hear from your son so try to spend some time doing anything that makes you feel just that little bit better. We are all here to support you so keep reaching out. Sending you love, support and strength.
Self care is going to be important for you as you wait to hear from your son so try to spend some time doing anything that makes you feel just that little bit better. We are all here to support you so keep reaching out. Sending you love, support and strength.
Worried Mum - I am SO very sorry to hear this outcome for you both. Why the criminal 'justice' system can't recognise the work that our people are doing and the progress & engagement they make in rectifying their behaviour in advance of sentencing, I find utterly baffling. To call your son a P and then not take in to account the professionals reccomendations is truly short sighted and shows a complete lack of empathy, and knowledge or understanding on this type of offence. This does terrify me as my OH is also doing all the right things to and I fear there may be a ruling that's more about punishment at all costs - perhaps if CPS took in to account the offenders history of abuse, remorse shown and proactive pursuit of rehabilitation in to account - than merely the prosecution evidence - we might have a fairer outcome for our people. I know it's been said before but when the CJS has spent so much money on getting to this point it's almost like they need the convictions to justify the expenses incurred.
I send my thoughts, love and support your way. Take one day at a time and I hope you can all start to rebuild your lives from here. Everyone here is always here for you .....
I send my thoughts, love and support your way. Take one day at a time and I hope you can all start to rebuild your lives from here. Everyone here is always here for you .....
Worried Mum - I am SO very sorry to hear this outcome for you both. Why the criminal 'justice' system can't recognise the work that our people are doing and the progress & engagement they make in rectifying their behaviour in advance of sentencing, I find utterly baffling. To call your son a P and then not take in to account the professionals reccomendations is truly short sighted and shows a complete lack of empathy, and knowledge or understanding on this type of offence. This does terrify me as my OH is also doing all the right things to and I fear there may be a ruling that's more about punishment at all costs - perhaps if CPS took in to account the offenders history of abuse, remorse shown and proactive pursuit of rehabilitation in to account - than merely the prosecution evidence - we might have a fairer outcome for our people. I know it's been said before but when the CJS has spent so much money on getting to this point it's almost like they need the convictions to justify the expenses incurred.
I send my thoughts, love and support your way. Take one day at a time and I hope you can all start to rebuild your lives from here. Everyone here is always here for you .....
I send my thoughts, love and support your way. Take one day at a time and I hope you can all start to rebuild your lives from here. Everyone here is always here for you .....
I think it's outrageous the P word was mentioned from a top of the tree, a so called 'professional'.... it's far too easily used as we've discussed many many times.....
your son will be ok - honestly. I like you, was petrified for my son going to prison, but not once has he felt threatened or in danger. They have a duty of care to follow.
your life will soon slot into a routine, but honestly you really have to look after yourself - for you and your son. You can do this honestly and many mums on the forum are here to help - me included x message me any time xxxx
your son will be ok - honestly. I like you, was petrified for my son going to prison, but not once has he felt threatened or in danger. They have a duty of care to follow.
your life will soon slot into a routine, but honestly you really have to look after yourself - for you and your son. You can do this honestly and many mums on the forum are here to help - me included x message me any time xxxx
Worried mum - I'm so sorry to hear that your son received an unexpected custodial sentence. Where I live, a custodial sentence is the norm. I have accepted that my husband is going to jail as part of the consequences of what he did, but I would find it hard if I saw others in my country receiving lighter sentences for the same thing. Your son will be ok.
The prison have just contacted our solicitor to say that he is in a bad way and asking for my contact number. This is the first contact we have had we didn't even know where he was until just now. I put a list of all our numbers in his bag with his medication etc. He has anxiety and depression and together with his ASD I've no idea how he will cope. I'm hoping he will be moved to a cat C prison soon but no idea how this works. No contact since Wednesday is so upsetting as we are so close and talk several times a day.
Also forgot to say thanks for your lovely messages...i've not posted much in the last 3yrs 4 months! but have followed all your journey's and its been such a godsend. This forum is so important and I hope eventually the powers that be will understand that locking them away with no support or counselling is a travesty. My son has been having counselling from a Stopso councillor since the beginning and had made such good progress...he was really upset when I told him my son had been given a custodial sentence. Every recommendation by every professional was ignored by the judge who obviously had no concept of ASD and it's impact. He even said that my son held down a job etc and so obviously lived a normal life! He had no knowledge of masking or anything else and the probation officor (who was lovely with him) was simply ignored.
Hello Worriedmum
I hope you have managed to speak to your son.
I understand completely the frustration and sadness you must feel that the judge had complete lack of knowledge and understanding of autism. Have you given any thought about appealing, maybe?
I am sending you and your son lots of strength your way for the days ahead.
I hope you have managed to speak to your son.
I understand completely the frustration and sadness you must feel that the judge had complete lack of knowledge and understanding of autism. Have you given any thought about appealing, maybe?
I am sending you and your son lots of strength your way for the days ahead.
We have but it would take a lot of money and apporoximately 6 months so it's just not worth it. He has just called me as he's in special measures or something where they are watched etc as he's suicidal...the officer was lovely and he was only supposed to talk for 2 mins but they let him have 5 minutes and the officer spoke to me afterwards and was reassuring. Hopefully by Monday they will have sorted his contacts so he can call me. He also said that he would be moved to a Cat C prison soon as he's in a Cat B atm...not sure what that means as i'm lost with all this.
Hi Worriedmum
I am pleased to hear you managed to speak with your son and it must have been reassuring to speak to a member of the prison service who is looking after your son.
I don't have personal experience of a family member being in prison, so I hope some other forum members post soon.
I do, however, have experience of autism as it runs a lot in our family so I do understand how your son will, very likely, be very anxious and overwhelmed by his new environment. It is very early days, so hopefully your son will settle into this new enviroment and a new routine with the help of the prison staff.
It is very easy to neglect your own wellbeing with all this going on, but try to look after yourself the best you can. Take care x
I am pleased to hear you managed to speak with your son and it must have been reassuring to speak to a member of the prison service who is looking after your son.
I don't have personal experience of a family member being in prison, so I hope some other forum members post soon.
I do, however, have experience of autism as it runs a lot in our family so I do understand how your son will, very likely, be very anxious and overwhelmed by his new environment. It is very early days, so hopefully your son will settle into this new enviroment and a new routine with the help of the prison staff.
It is very easy to neglect your own wellbeing with all this going on, but try to look after yourself the best you can. Take care x