Stressed
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My social worker has been telling me I need to do certain things to get my partner home and family back together HOWEVER my OH crown court apprence was the 9th October 2024 he pled not guilty ( attempt to message a minor) we was told trial will be in another 9 months now my social worker is saying OH won't be allowed home till after trial, this has been going on since December 2023. I've no idea what to do now I've done EVERYTHING SS have asked of. Our 7 year old is suffering with anxiety and abandonment issues since all this started (she saw our previous sw remove dad from home) ive lied and told her daddy is working away
Broken mum/partner!
Broken mum/partner!
Hi,
what plan are you currently on with ss? They can move things along before trial by doing assessments on your capability to protect and having an independent assessment of your OH to determine the risk to your child if he were to move back into the home. Have you done any courses around risk and safeguarding?
Something that is worth considering about a not guilty plea and trial is that if he is found guilty the penalty will be harsher than pleading guilty at the earliest opportunity. I'm mentioning this because should your OH be found guilty and be sentenced to a custodial then this will impact your child if they have been reintroduced to living together. Also if he ends up with a SHPO with contact restrictions this may mean moving out again.
Ss like to wait until after sentencing as it gives them access to more information and essentially passes the decision on to other agencies like probation or offender management xxx
what plan are you currently on with ss? They can move things along before trial by doing assessments on your capability to protect and having an independent assessment of your OH to determine the risk to your child if he were to move back into the home. Have you done any courses around risk and safeguarding?
Something that is worth considering about a not guilty plea and trial is that if he is found guilty the penalty will be harsher than pleading guilty at the earliest opportunity. I'm mentioning this because should your OH be found guilty and be sentenced to a custodial then this will impact your child if they have been reintroduced to living together. Also if he ends up with a SHPO with contact restrictions this may mean moving out again.
Ss like to wait until after sentencing as it gives them access to more information and essentially passes the decision on to other agencies like probation or offender management xxx
I really really would tell your 7yo an age appropriate version of the truth (the LFF helpline or people on here could help with the wording). I'm saying this as a parent whose youngest was 8 when this all kicked off, but also as someone who grew up being lied to about certain important things by (mostly!) well-intentioned adults. In my case it was parental addiction issues and mental instability and the adults inquestion mostly wanted to shelter me, but its left me with trust issues and has hurt relationships with family. Kids are sharper than we think and know on some level that they're being lied to, which won't help with the anxiety. It certainly didn't for me! I really distinctly remember knowing at age 7 / 8 / 9 that Bad Things were happening and Worse Things could happen, and that the adults in my life weren't telling me things, so I imagined all sorts. In our case my now 9yo has a good relationship with his dad, who he sees regularly supervised by me (we're separated, 13 months in and still waiting on forensics). He knows from me and from his dad the age appropriate basics and that his dad claims he didn't want or ask for the thing he was sent. I know we'll have another hurdle to jump if it turns out his dad has lied, which is hard.
Sorry this is a tangent, but I also think SS will be more favourable if you're seen as open with your child in an age appropriate way, as they see her as safer once she has that knowledge and see you as being protective.
Sorry this is a tangent, but I also think SS will be more favourable if you're seen as open with your child in an age appropriate way, as they see her as safer once she has that knowledge and see you as being protective.
Hey, we are on a child protection plan was on a child in need plan but previous social worker twisted things I said etc. I totally understand the whole coming home then not being home after courts etc but I just feel my SW is pushing me to do things with false promises and I feel my parenting is being questioned. I've worked in schools etc so know about safeguarding children. We haven't done/been offered any courses.
My SW worker has agreed that my 7 year old doesn't need to know the truth as she's to young thats not to say we won't tell her when she's older just right now it's not the time.
It's all so frustrating we keep getting told to keep things normal yet none of this is normal! Xx
My SW worker has agreed that my 7 year old doesn't need to know the truth as she's to young thats not to say we won't tell her when she's older just right now it's not the time.
It's all so frustrating we keep getting told to keep things normal yet none of this is normal! Xx
Going through the exact same, sounds identical to my situation @meg?
Anonymous 1
It's horrible isn't? I'm told its different in different counties so someone who is going through what we are could have their partner home because they live in a different county to me. It's so frustrating. Hope your doing as well as you though. Feel free to message if you want to chat x
It's horrible isn't? I'm told its different in different counties so someone who is going through what we are could have their partner home because they live in a different county to me. It's so frustrating. Hope your doing as well as you though. Feel free to message if you want to chat x