Family and Friends Forum

Kitty42

Member since
October 2024

8 posts

Posted Mon October 14, 2024 9:55amReport post

New to this, having survived the knock, a year, then sentencing & a lot of reading of the forum.

OH was attempted online communication (police decoy) whilst in the midst of a mental health breakdown. Suspended sentence & community order, along with register & SHPO so we are trying to adjust to the new normal.

On the advice of the helpline we tried to have the non-contact with under 16s removed from the proposed SHPO, as it was a non-contact offence. However, the solicitor insisted it was standard for this, and to not rock the boat.

In his initial meetings with probation and and offender manager we are going round in circles as nobody will tell us what "contact" actually means. We have primary school aged children (SS & supervision is a different battle) and we want to follow the rules but also need to try to have a family life.

The phrase in the SHPO is that it must be unavoidable in normal life. He would walk away & not talk to an under 16 if approached, but where can we go, as everywhere might have children present. The cinema? A bowling alley? A park? A pub for a meal? A supermarket??

It might be that probation are more specific once they know him, but any advice about how you have managed this would be appreciated. Thanks

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1044 posts

Posted Mon October 14, 2024 10:24amReport post

Hi,

my partner doesn't have the no contact clause but his probation officer initially thought he did and he was told that he couldn't attend family gatherings where children would be in attendance. Things like going on the trios out like the ones you mentioned were fine though.

I would think (this is my logical conclusion on this) that he can go wherever he chooses to unless restricted specifically in his SHPO. He just needs to think about protecting himself and not being put in a position where accusations could be made. My partner stayed out at a local pub after we had a meal there and a little girl came up to him as she couldn't find her parents. Obviously he felt uncomfortable in that situation but couldn't just walk away from her, he told bar staff that she was lost, made sure she was going to be safe and then sat in the adults only section of the pub for the rest of the night. Her parents had apparently forgotten her until they got home which is shocking but by reporting her to the bar staff and removing himself from the situation he was able to protect himself.
Your OH should live his life as normal whilst being cautious is what I would suggest. Kids are naturally trusting, I think the little girl at the pub had seen me and our daughter with my partner earlier and automatically assumed that he was a safe grown up so it's just about being aware xxx

edel2020

Member since
March 2022

392 posts

Posted Mon October 14, 2024 11:17amReport post

I'm afraid it will all come down to how the police and probation interpret the word contact. There is no consistency in the application of this clause, so pay particular attention to what they say and try to get things written down if possible. That's because interpretation varies from person to person and any time he gets a new probation officer, or a new police supervisor, they will tell him that everything the previous person told him was wrong and that they do things differently.

As a very rough guide, he should avoid any areas where children congregate. He won't be able to pick his own kids up from school and gyms and swimming pools are definately off limits, but depending on the supervisor, he may have problems with cinemas, going to gigs, any family gatherings, BBQs and so on. My son was told he could not go into a pub, if it had a children's play area, and he doesn't even have the no contact wording in his SHPO!

Edited Mon October 14, 2024 11:40am